The end is nigh.


I know I’m a few days late, but I’ve been surrounded by some of the biggest, baddest, brashest names in the business.

I’m flying back from Copy Chief Live as I write this. Two days in Tampa with Clayton Makepeace, John Carlton, Parris Lampropoulos, Kevin Rogers & a room full of multi-million dollar copywriters. They made my brain huge, y’all.

(Shout out to all The Copywriter Club members I met!)

Now, I don’t love direct response—but I’ve got mad respect for its power. And I learned a lot about emotional copy.

Some of what I saw made my ethical spidey-sense tingle. But when the dark art is used for good, when the stories are told right, and when the message hits home with the reader, it’s a thing of beauty.

My lines might never sell like those guys, but I found a few gems in this batch. I also tried for redemption on an old post, made myself laugh with Seinfeld references, and gave a little self-love with lines for my business card.

It’s all right here for you. I’ll see you at the end with the key takeaways.

The Posts

81: Resume Writing Service
The list plays to the pain of not being able to land a job, or even an interview. That’s got to be a better angle than “looking good on paper” right? I probably should’ve pressed the nerve deeper. Really homed in on the fear. I shouldn’t have held back, but I did.

  • New resume service guarantees an interview within 60 days, or it’s free

It ain’t sexy, but I think that’s the strongest line.

82: Dreem Sleep Tech
I liked this one. It’s a headband that relaxes your brain to help you sleep faster and deeper. While I do think there’s absolutely a direct response way to go with this, I liked my fluffy lines best:

  • Pajamas for your brain
  • Dreem quiets your active brain so you can sleep

83: WonderDads 2
My attempt at redemption. I revisited post #2, which whiffed on the punch. This second swing had more oomph, but still not a knockout. I think I refrained because their brand tone is so tame:

  • It’s time for you and your sidekick to find a little trouble
  • Ideas, activities & all sorts of trouble to get into with your kids
  • Weekly activities that’ll make your kids want to put down their phones and play with you

Interesting note – WonderDads changed their copy since my original post. Sadly, their new line “Be an even better & funner dad” makes my grammatical brain weep.

84: My Business Cards
Yup. Totally self-serving here. I needed to whip up some business cards, so why not use my go-to method?

85: Custom Stuffed Animals
When I couldn’t find a good site for creating custom action figures, I panicked. I stumbled around the interwebs for 85 minutes trying to find a topic. By the time I landed on this one, I was in the wrong headspace. It showed in the writing.

86: First Dance Lessons
With my 10th anniversary coming up, I was thinking about the lessons my wife and I took to nail our first dance. After a little (lot) of toe-crushing practice, we pulled it off. I like how there are now classes advertised specifically for a first dance—but I didn’t see many aimed toward clumsy men. So I wrote some:

  • We know you’re not comfortable dancing. But you will be.
  • Even if you have two left feet, we’ll show you which one to lead with

87: Top of the Muffin to You!
I love the fun ones. This was from the Seinfeld episode when Elaine’s idea to sell stumpless muffins fails miserably. All kinds of great references & puns in here:

  • Pudding skins broke the rules. Muffin tops broke the game.
  • In the muffin kingdom, the top rules all
  • In every relationship, there’s a better half. With muffins, it’s the top.

88: Lacuna (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)
In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Lacuna removes all memories of a specific person from your head. Bad beak up? Gone. Painful memories? Gone. Dude owes you $10 bucks but moved to Florida and you can’t get it? Gone. Awesome idea. But I never saw the movie and there are no reviews for a fake company, so it was a struggle:

  • You may not remember me—and that’s the point

89: Hooli
If you watch Silicon Valley, you’ll enjoy this one. Hooli is their version of Google—only dumber. The founder is an egotistical jackass whose goal is “make the world a better place.” Everything is about them, so I broke the rules and wrote 100 of the most self-centered lines I could think of.

  • We spare no expense proving that everyone else is wrong and their ideas are crap
  • The only limitations you’ll ever encounter using Hooli will be your fault
  • Yes, we are the best company in the world. But we’re so much more than that.

90: Rosey The Robot (The Jetsons)
Wrapping up the TV/Movie theme, I wanted to have more fun before the final 10. But here’s the thing—as futuristic as the show is, their portrayal of women is founded in 1960’s ideals. So it’s completely sexist. I don’t agree with it, but, I went with it for the post. (Please don’t hate!)

  • The future of housekeeping comes with a little side of attitude
  • If the thought of not having to clean anymore makes you smile, imagine what the actual experience will be like
  • Sometimes you just don’t have the strength to keep the house clean



  • I’ve been having anxiety about choosing topics. It’s weighed on me for two weeks. I’m really looking forward to being done. That’s the reason some of the topics here are light-hearted. I needed to avoid burnout.
  •  I’m only just starting to realize how big this project is. I keep downplaying it, but being surrounded by writers and being recognized by a few really brought it home. I’m “The Headline Guy.” I’m not trying to brag. In fact, I’m trying to do the opposite. I’m trying to say how much I appreciate every ounce of recognition and confidence this has project brought me. …I’m just not doing a very good job at it.
  • I still haven’t figured out the SEO & tagging for these posts. I’ll fix all that once it winds down.
  • Writing on an airplane makes me wish I had the CozyTap Mouse from Day 77. The flight attendant keeps rubbing his ass against my elbow. And we haven’t even boarded yet. (<–see what I did there?)
  • I’m going to keep this short knowing I’ve got a major recap coming up. Cool? Cool.

Special thanks to Marny Basset for the inspiration. Her book, Damn, That’s A Great Subject Line, pulled me out of an anxiety spiral. Your timing couldn’t have been better, MB. Big hugs.

See you in 10.

Does this font make me look fat?