Did you ever see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? There’s a company called Lacuna that wipes away your memories of a specific person. But when Joel & Clementine break up and undergo the procedure, something goes horribly awry and monkeys take over the world.
I don’t know. I never saw the movie…
Regardless, I’m writing about Lacuna today. Let’s see what I can do with a fake company from a movie I didn’t see, based off one YouTube commercial & an IMDB recap.
…What the Hell am I doing?
1 | You may not remember me, and that’s the point |
2 | Some memories you’d rather forget. Now you can. |
3 | Peace of mind for heart-broken lovers |
4 | Removing upsetting memories by morning |
5 | The difference between tomorrow and a happy tomorrow is Lacuna |
6 | Some things are worth forgetting |
7 | Discover the freedom of giving up your regret |
8 | We’re your best chance at a happy tomorrow |
9 | Erase the obstacles to your carefree mind |
10 | Past relationships getting in the way of your future? Forgetting them is our present to you |
11 | Some things you just can’t forget…until now |
12 | Fade bad memories like a dream you forget in morning |
13 | Your way to a happy past |
14 | For good people with bad memories |
15 | Letting you move forward carefree & unburdened |
16 | Wipe away the final trace of upsetting memories |
17 | To the men and women who want to start new again |
18 | For all the memories you’d rather lose |
19 | Move forward in peace |
20 | Take one night to start an unburdened life |
21 | Rediscover your unblemished mind |
22 | Life is better with deleted scenes |
23 | Closure is closer than you think |
24 | Watch bad memories fade away |
25 | Recreate your fairy tale existence |
26 | A clean slate for your future |
27 | Stop regretting the past |
28 | You don’t have to remember forever—if you don’t want to |
29 | Announcing a new way for heartbroken individuals to move on in 24 hours |
30 | Remember what life was like before regret |
31 | For the troubled soul who wants a clean tomorrow |
32 | Some things are better erased |
33 | Never think about your ex again |
34 | Wipe away bad memories |
35 | Live like it never happened |
36 | Regrettable endings are better left forgotten |
37 | Taking the weight of the past off your shoulders |
38 | Close the door on painful memories |
39 | Remove the obstacles to inner peace |
40 | Erasure is more powerful than closure |
41 | When you can’t seem to move forward, we’ll put you back on the path |
42 | Pay no mind to the past |
43 | How to develop a clean slate, a pleasant state & unburdened frame of mind |
44 | Now you can find your inner peace without closure |
45 | Find your happy place again |
46 | An easy way to move on |
47 | Move forward without baggage—with Lacuna |
48 | The simple fact is, most relationships end. Here’s how to feel like they never even began |
49 | Let’s pretend it never happened |
50 | For the unburdened mind |
51 | When certain memories get in the way of moving forward, Lacuna helps you forget |
52 | Never be troubled by a painful relationship again |
53 | Wipe away what you’d rather forget |
54 | Edit your memories like a movie |
55 | Cleaning your history to make for a better future |
56 | Memory erasure for heartbroken lovers |
57 | Now you don’t have to choose between your future and your past |
58 | Don’t miss what could be because of what was |
59 | Rediscover what it’s like to untie your emotional pain |
60 | When yesterday gets in the way of tomorrow, we make life easier |
61 | Stop mourning the past, and find a happier future |
62 | The quickest way to find your peace |
63 | Cleaning minds, one heartache at a time |
64 | Erase the painful endings |
65 | Get ready for a happier tomorrow |
66 | Where good people become happy again |
67 | Discover the freedom you’ll find through the power of losing |
68 | You can’t change the past. But you remove it. |
69 | Discover the freedom of an unburdened mind |
70 | Make your past perfect, even if it wasn’t |
71 | Discover a world forgot |
72 | Clear your mind & your heart |
73 | Mending broken hearts and burdened minds |
74 | Your new way of moving on |
75 | Everything you need to move forward in peace |
76 | Fade the existence of upsetting memories |
77 | What’s you best chance at becoming emotionally available tomorrow? |
78 | Almost everyone has someone they’d like forget. And almost everyone can. |
79 | Scrub away painful memories |
80 | Remember the important things in life—not the pain |
81 | Rediscover your carefree mind |
82 | By tomorrow morning, you can live like it never happened |
83 | Don’t let your past hold you back |
84 | Emotional pain too much bear? We’ll help you lose it |
85 | Never suffer from unwanted memories again |
86 | End bad memories once and for all |
87 | You’ll never think about them again |
88 | The memory service that frees up your mind for a better tomorrow |
89 | Don’t drown your sorrows to forget. Forget to forget. |
90 | Remember what it was like to be you, unburdened |
91 | When you’re tired of trudging forward after a relationship, we help you find your step again |
92 | Helping you forget, so you can move forward |
93 | Keep the good memories. Forget the bad |
94 | If you want to forget it, we make it happen |
95 | See how easily you can forget |
96 | How to heal a broken heart |
97 | Start a brand new day without burden |
98 | Who else wants to return to the way things were before the relationship began? |
99 | When bad memories gnaw at your soul, Lacuna helps you forget |
100 | Life’s too short for regrets |
101 | Rediscover what it means to be happy |
Overall: Blah. As soon as I started, I knew this wouldn’t go well. I tried to keep it more formal and that was a mistake. I should’ve written like me. Also, I had a hard time choosing a topic today—that always puts me in the wrong frame of mind.
Lessons: I should’ve played to the pain points. I also didn’t want to steal “sunshine” “spotless” or “mind” since it’s in the title, but that’s all I could think of. Then I started substituting words for them and sticking too close to the title. It was like saying “Don’t think of a purple elephant” to someone…
- This could be a good do-over post because I know I could do better, but being so late into the project, it might not happen
- Having almost nothing to work from put me in a bind—but even so, this list is a stinker
- Pretty disappointed for not seeing all of the obvious avenues I’m noticing now
- Let’s chalk this one up to being tired…
Time: 1:15 minutes, 1 session (after my bedtime)
Recent Comments