Did you ever see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? There’s a company called Lacuna that wipes away your memories of a specific person. But when Joel & Clementine break up and undergo the procedure, something goes horribly awry and monkeys take over the world.
I don’t know. I never saw the movie…
Regardless, I’m writing about Lacuna today. Let’s see what I can do with a fake company from a movie I didn’t see, based off one YouTube commercial & an IMDB recap.
…What the Hell am I doing?
| 1 | You may not remember me, and that’s the point |
| 2 | Some memories you’d rather forget. Now you can. |
| 3 | Peace of mind for heart-broken lovers |
| 4 | Removing upsetting memories by morning |
| 5 | The difference between tomorrow and a happy tomorrow is Lacuna |
| 6 | Some things are worth forgetting |
| 7 | Discover the freedom of giving up your regret |
| 8 | We’re your best chance at a happy tomorrow |
| 9 | Erase the obstacles to your carefree mind |
| 10 | Past relationships getting in the way of your future? Forgetting them is our present to you |
| 11 | Some things you just can’t forget…until now |
| 12 | Fade bad memories like a dream you forget in morning |
| 13 | Your way to a happy past |
| 14 | For good people with bad memories |
| 15 | Letting you move forward carefree & unburdened |
| 16 | Wipe away the final trace of upsetting memories |
| 17 | To the men and women who want to start new again |
| 18 | For all the memories you’d rather lose |
| 19 | Move forward in peace |
| 20 | Take one night to start an unburdened life |
| 21 | Rediscover your unblemished mind |
| 22 | Life is better with deleted scenes |
| 23 | Closure is closer than you think |
| 24 | Watch bad memories fade away |
| 25 | Recreate your fairy tale existence |
| 26 | A clean slate for your future |
| 27 | Stop regretting the past |
| 28 | You don’t have to remember forever—if you don’t want to |
| 29 | Announcing a new way for heartbroken individuals to move on in 24 hours |
| 30 | Remember what life was like before regret |
| 31 | For the troubled soul who wants a clean tomorrow |
| 32 | Some things are better erased |
| 33 | Never think about your ex again |
| 34 | Wipe away bad memories |
| 35 | Live like it never happened |
| 36 | Regrettable endings are better left forgotten |
| 37 | Taking the weight of the past off your shoulders |
| 38 | Close the door on painful memories |
| 39 | Remove the obstacles to inner peace |
| 40 | Erasure is more powerful than closure |
| 41 | When you can’t seem to move forward, we’ll put you back on the path |
| 42 | Pay no mind to the past |
| 43 | How to develop a clean slate, a pleasant state & unburdened frame of mind |
| 44 | Now you can find your inner peace without closure |
| 45 | Find your happy place again |
| 46 | An easy way to move on |
| 47 | Move forward without baggage—with Lacuna |
| 48 | The simple fact is, most relationships end. Here’s how to feel like they never even began |
| 49 | Let’s pretend it never happened |
| 50 | For the unburdened mind |
| 51 | When certain memories get in the way of moving forward, Lacuna helps you forget |
| 52 | Never be troubled by a painful relationship again |
| 53 | Wipe away what you’d rather forget |
| 54 | Edit your memories like a movie |
| 55 | Cleaning your history to make for a better future |
| 56 | Memory erasure for heartbroken lovers |
| 57 | Now you don’t have to choose between your future and your past |
| 58 | Don’t miss what could be because of what was |
| 59 | Rediscover what it’s like to untie your emotional pain |
| 60 | When yesterday gets in the way of tomorrow, we make life easier |
| 61 | Stop mourning the past, and find a happier future |
| 62 | The quickest way to find your peace |
| 63 | Cleaning minds, one heartache at a time |
| 64 | Erase the painful endings |
| 65 | Get ready for a happier tomorrow |
| 66 | Where good people become happy again |
| 67 | Discover the freedom you’ll find through the power of losing |
| 68 | You can’t change the past. But you remove it. |
| 69 | Discover the freedom of an unburdened mind |
| 70 | Make your past perfect, even if it wasn’t |
| 71 | Discover a world forgot |
| 72 | Clear your mind & your heart |
| 73 | Mending broken hearts and burdened minds |
| 74 | Your new way of moving on |
| 75 | Everything you need to move forward in peace |
| 76 | Fade the existence of upsetting memories |
| 77 | What’s you best chance at becoming emotionally available tomorrow? |
| 78 | Almost everyone has someone they’d like forget. And almost everyone can. |
| 79 | Scrub away painful memories |
| 80 | Remember the important things in life—not the pain |
| 81 | Rediscover your carefree mind |
| 82 | By tomorrow morning, you can live like it never happened |
| 83 | Don’t let your past hold you back |
| 84 | Emotional pain too much bear? We’ll help you lose it |
| 85 | Never suffer from unwanted memories again |
| 86 | End bad memories once and for all |
| 87 | You’ll never think about them again |
| 88 | The memory service that frees up your mind for a better tomorrow |
| 89 | Don’t drown your sorrows to forget. Forget to forget. |
| 90 | Remember what it was like to be you, unburdened |
| 91 | When you’re tired of trudging forward after a relationship, we help you find your step again |
| 92 | Helping you forget, so you can move forward |
| 93 | Keep the good memories. Forget the bad |
| 94 | If you want to forget it, we make it happen |
| 95 | See how easily you can forget |
| 96 | How to heal a broken heart |
| 97 | Start a brand new day without burden |
| 98 | Who else wants to return to the way things were before the relationship began? |
| 99 | When bad memories gnaw at your soul, Lacuna helps you forget |
| 100 | Life’s too short for regrets |
| 101 | Rediscover what it means to be happy |
Overall: Blah. As soon as I started, I knew this wouldn’t go well. I tried to keep it more formal and that was a mistake. I should’ve written like me. Also, I had a hard time choosing a topic today—that always puts me in the wrong frame of mind.
Lessons: I should’ve played to the pain points. I also didn’t want to steal “sunshine” “spotless” or “mind” since it’s in the title, but that’s all I could think of. Then I started substituting words for them and sticking too close to the title. It was like saying “Don’t think of a purple elephant” to someone…
- This could be a good do-over post because I know I could do better, but being so late into the project, it might not happen
- Having almost nothing to work from put me in a bind—but even so, this list is a stinker
- Pretty disappointed for not seeing all of the obvious avenues I’m noticing now
- Let’s chalk this one up to being tired…
Time: 1:15 minutes, 1 session (after my bedtime)
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