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Did you ever see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? There’s a company called Lacuna that wipes away your memories of a specific person. But when Joel & Clementine break up and undergo the procedure, something goes horribly awry and monkeys take over the world.

I don’t know. I never saw the movie…

Regardless, I’m writing about Lacuna today.  Let’s see what I can do with a fake company from a movie I didn’t see, based off one YouTube commercial & an IMDB recap.

…What the Hell am I doing?

1 You may not remember me, and that’s the point
2 Some memories you’d rather forget. Now you can.
3 Peace of mind for heart-broken lovers
4 Removing upsetting memories by morning
5 The difference between tomorrow and a happy tomorrow is Lacuna
6 Some things are worth forgetting
7 Discover the freedom of giving up your regret
8 We’re your best chance at a happy tomorrow
9 Erase the obstacles to your carefree mind
10 Past relationships getting in the way of your future? Forgetting them is our present to you
11 Some things you just can’t forget…until now
12 Fade bad memories like a dream you forget in morning
13 Your way to a happy past
14 For good people with bad memories
15 Letting you move forward carefree & unburdened
16 Wipe away the final trace of upsetting memories
17 To the men and women who want to start new again
18 For all the memories you’d rather lose
19 Move forward in peace
20 Take one night to start an unburdened life
21 Rediscover your unblemished mind
22 Life is better with deleted scenes
23 Closure is closer than you think
24 Watch bad memories fade away
25 Recreate your fairy tale existence
26 A clean slate for your future
27 Stop regretting the past
28 You don’t have to remember forever—if you don’t want to
29 Announcing  a new way for heartbroken individuals to move on in 24 hours
30 Remember what life was like before regret
31 For the troubled soul who wants a clean tomorrow
32 Some things are better erased
33 Never think about your ex again
34 Wipe away bad memories
35 Live like it never happened
36 Regrettable endings are better left forgotten
37 Taking the weight of the past off your shoulders
38 Close the door on painful memories
39 Remove the obstacles to inner peace
40 Erasure is more powerful than closure
41 When you can’t seem to move forward, we’ll put you back on the path
42 Pay no mind to the past
43 How to develop a clean slate, a pleasant state & unburdened frame of mind
44 Now you can find your inner peace without closure
45 Find your happy place again
46 An easy way to move on
47 Move forward without baggage—with Lacuna
48 The simple fact is, most relationships end. Here’s how to feel like they never even began
49 Let’s pretend it never happened
50 For the unburdened mind
51 When certain memories get in the way of moving forward, Lacuna helps you forget
52 Never be troubled by a painful relationship again
53 Wipe away what you’d rather forget
54 Edit your memories like a movie
55 Cleaning your history to make for a better future
56 Memory erasure for heartbroken lovers
57 Now you don’t have to choose between your future and your past
58 Don’t miss what could be because of what was
59 Rediscover what it’s like to untie your emotional pain
60 When yesterday gets in the way of tomorrow, we make life easier
61 Stop mourning the past, and find a happier future
62 The quickest way to find your peace
63 Cleaning minds, one heartache at a time
64 Erase the painful endings
65 Get ready for a happier tomorrow
66 Where good people become happy again
67 Discover the freedom you’ll find through the power of losing
68 You can’t change the past. But you remove it.
69 Discover the freedom of an unburdened mind
70 Make your past perfect, even if it wasn’t
71 Discover a world forgot
72 Clear your mind & your heart
73 Mending broken hearts and  burdened minds
74 Your new way of moving on
75 Everything you need to move forward in peace
76 Fade the existence of upsetting memories
77 What’s you best chance at becoming emotionally available tomorrow?
78 Almost everyone has someone they’d like forget. And almost everyone can.
79 Scrub away painful memories
80 Remember the important things in life—not the pain
81 Rediscover your carefree mind
82 By tomorrow morning, you can live like it never happened
83 Don’t let your past hold you back
84 Emotional pain too much bear? We’ll help you lose it
85 Never suffer from unwanted memories again
86 End bad memories once and for all
87 You’ll never think about them again
88 The memory service that frees up your mind for a better tomorrow
89 Don’t drown your sorrows to forget. Forget to forget.
90 Remember what it was like to be you, unburdened
91 When you’re tired of trudging forward after a relationship, we help you find your step again
92 Helping you forget, so you can move forward
93 Keep the good memories. Forget the bad
94 If you want to forget it, we make it happen
95 See how easily you can forget
96 How to heal a broken heart
97 Start a brand new day without burden
98 Who else wants to return to the way things were  before the relationship began?
99 When bad memories gnaw at your soul, Lacuna helps you forget
100 Life’s too short for regrets
101 Rediscover what it means to be happy

 

Overall: Blah. As soon as I started, I knew this wouldn’t go well. I tried to keep it more formal and that was a mistake. I should’ve written like me. Also, I had a hard time choosing a topic today—that always puts me in the wrong frame of mind.

Lessons: I should’ve played to the pain points. I also didn’t want to steal “sunshine” “spotless” or “mind” since it’s in the title, but that’s all I could think of. Then I started substituting words for them and sticking too close to the title. It was like saying “Don’t think of a purple elephant” to someone…

  • This could be a good do-over post because I know I could do better, but being so late into the project, it might not happen
  • Having almost nothing to work from put me in a bind—but even so, this list is a stinker
  • Pretty disappointed for not seeing all of the obvious avenues I’m noticing now
  • Let’s chalk this one up to being tired…

Time: 1:15 minutes, 1 session (after my bedtime)