You can skip this one. It’s me having a little fun and fooling around. There’s not going to be much here…
I was talking to a friend about open-office plans and decided to write about it. I split it into 50 pros & 50 cons. It’s kinda snarky. A little funny, but I sorta dialed this one one…
…They can’t all be winners.
Here are 100 lines about Open Floor Plans
| SNARKY | |
| 1 | Finally meet the people you talk to on Slack |
| 2 | Discover annoying personal habits of your colleagues you never knew they had |
| 3 | Listen to your new neighbors chew like they’re eating gravel |
| 4 | Now you have a reason to buy those headphones you’ve been eyeing |
| 5 | Never eat lunch alone again (even if you want to) |
| 6 | Learn why having walls is a good thing |
| 7 | Compared to your new neighbor, you’ll find you really don’t spend too much time on Facebook |
| 8 | Develop a deeper appreciation for peace & quiet |
| 9 | Now we all have a window view |
| 10 | Let a little light into your desk space |
| 11 | The office environment those who sit elsewhere want you to have |
| 12 | People who sit in private offices think this is a good idea |
| 13 | Open offices are a great idea! …For the bottom line |
| 14 | Learn more than you ever wanted to about the personal habits of your colleagues |
| 15 | The fastest way to find out about your colleagues hygeine, without having to ask |
| 16 | Discover way more about colleagues than you ever wanted to know |
| 17 | Good news! Now you’ll be able to identify who brought in the smelly food! |
| 18 | An easy way to create unwanted distractions |
| 19 | The most efficient way to bring a building to its fire code capacity |
| 20 | No more listening to awkward conversations–because we’ll all be wearing headphones |
| 21 | The difference between your open office and management’s is the enthusiasm |
| 22 | New! Lower walls for more awkward glares |
| 23 | You’ll never feel alone at work again …even if you want to |
| 24 | You can still work on side projects if you minimize tabs fast enough |
| 25 | You’ll get really good at minimizing browser tabs |
| 26 | The fastest way to learn how loud your co-worker’s mouse clicks |
| 27 | It’s not just brighter, it’s also louder |
| 28 | If you’ve already used up all your vacation days, you may have a rough few months ahead of you |
| 29 | Now you’ve got a better reason to use up all your vacation days each year |
| 30 | Distracted all your collegaues personal items? Not anymore! |
| 31 | Now you can maintain eye contact as you IM the colleague sitting next to you |
| 32 | No need to ask people how a project is coming when you can see them working on it |
| 33 | Good news! Now you don’t have to wonder about office politics happening behind your back |
| 34 | No more secrets! Now everyone will know how often you pee |
| 35 | For coworkers tired of privacy |
| 36 | Are you distracted by peace & quiet? Not anymore! |
| 37 | The extroverted paradise for 9-5 |
| 38 | 8 hours a day just got a lot more personal |
| 39 | Let the world get up in your grill |
| 40 | Good news! No more awkward “personal space” for you |
| 41 | Distracted by privacy? Not anymore! |
| 42 | All the benefits of working alongside your colleagues, without any extra interaction |
| 43 | Where you find your reason to wear better headphones, even when you’re not listening to music |
| 44 | Would you beleive I used to be productive! For 8 hours a day! |
| 45 | All the silence with more of the people |
| 46 | You never realized how antisocial you were until now |
| 47 | Helping the business save on the bottom line |
| 48 | Melt away company morale |
| 49 | Proof you are nothing but a number |
| 50 | Slashing company morale, one overheard conversation at at time |
| A “REAL” ATTEMPT | |
| 51 | The best way to collaborate, is to sit with your team |
| 52 | Football players huddle. Now you can too. |
| 53 | Conference rooms are overrated |
| 54 | Who needs meetings when you can just talk to eachother like people? |
| 55 | The best way to feel like you’re part of a team, is to look up and see their faces |
| 56 | It’s easy to collaborate when all you need to do is turn your ahead |
| 57 | For people who feel that walls shouldn’t seperate a team |
| 58 | Why let a little thing like a 6′ wall come between you and your teammate |
| 59 | You never forget your teammates are in the trenches with you, when you’re looking at them |
| 60 | Raise the bar on getting work done–together |
| 61 | Institute an open door policy–by phyiscally removing the doors |
| 62 | You may not have realized it yet, but your team is right here beside you |
| 63 | Work as a team. Sit as a team. |
| 64 | Who needs walls when you’ve got co-workers like this? |
| 65 | The best part of an open office? You never have to eat alone. |
| 66 | No more sad, lonely lunches. You’ve got a whole team here with you. |
| 67 | Time to make some new friends! |
| 68 | To the men and women in the trenches… Look around and see your team |
| 69 | How to develop a tighter team, more respect, and a powerhouse group capable of anything |
| 70 | New office plan promotes better communication than Skype or Slack ever could |
| 71 | What’s your best chance to improve collaboration? The answer might be in the walls |
| 72 | Good ideas don’t happen in a vacuum. So tear down those walls between your peers. |
| 73 | Almost everyone has a million-dollar idea. Collaboration makes it worth even more. |
| 74 | You may have reservations about an open-office environment. But it really does make life better. |
| 75 | An easy way to improve collaboration |
| 76 | How to increase colleague communication and face-time with your peers |
| 77 | Now all you need to do to be recognized, is show up |
| 78 | To an introvert who would succeed if more people noticed them… this is your chance. |
| 79 | 3 Powerful walls that have been holding you back are about to come down |
| 80 | Tired of living the Dilbert life? Tear down those cubes! |
| 81 | I’d like talk to my follow colleagues… but the walls are in the way |
| 82 | Now all you need to do for a little feedback, is look to your left |
| 83 | What would become of your productivity if you could collaborate wth colleagues more easily? |
| 84 | I’m 3 walls lighter and a whole team stronger |
| 85 | Who else wants a closer team with no walls between us? |
| 86 | Drop the walls and raise your game |
| 87 | Walls? Where we’re going, we don’t need walls. |
| 88 | We don’t need no stinkin’ walls! |
| 89 | Why put up drab, grey wals when we have beautiful sun all around us? |
| 90 | If you’ve already put up walls between yourself and your staff, this is your chance to tear them down |
| 91 | The better floor plan for more productive teams |
| 92 | Creating closer teams, one wall drop at a time |
| 93 | Would you beleive we never used to talk!? |
| 94 | With the removal of just a few walls, your teams get closer together |
| 95 | See the floor plans that’s bringing teams together, whether they wanted it or not |
| 96 | Your office is about to look whole lot prettier |
| 97 | No more cube farms for you! |
| 98 | Your office is about to get a whole lot bigger |
| 99 | You said you always wanted more access to you boss… |
| 100 | Helping employees get recognized, just for showing up |
Overall: Meh. It’s done. Don’t write grumpy, kids.
Lessons: Doing a pros/con split like this might be useful for a real project at some point. But even that might be a stretch. I will say, the fun list put me in a slightly better mood than when I started. It can be a good challenge to write for the opposite team.
Time: 2 sessions, 50 minutes.
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