You can skip this one. It’s me having a little fun and fooling around. There’s not going to be much here…

I was talking to a friend about open-office plans and decided to write about it. I split it into 50 pros & 50 cons. It’s kinda snarky. A little funny, but I sorta dialed this one one…

…They can’t all be winners.

Here are 100 lines about Open Floor Plans

SNARKY
1 Finally meet the people you talk to on Slack
2 Discover annoying personal habits of your colleagues you never knew they had
3 Listen to your new neighbors chew like they’re eating gravel
4 Now you have a reason to buy those headphones you’ve been eyeing
5 Never eat lunch alone again (even if you want to)
6 Learn why having walls is a good thing
7 Compared to your new neighbor, you’ll find you really don’t spend too much time on Facebook
8 Develop a deeper appreciation for peace & quiet
9 Now we all have a window view
10 Let a little light into your desk space
11 The office environment those who sit elsewhere want you to have
12 People who sit in private offices think this is a good idea
13 Open offices are a great idea! …For the bottom line
14 Learn more than you ever wanted to about the personal habits of your colleagues
15 The fastest way to find out about your colleagues hygeine, without having to ask
16 Discover way more about colleagues than you ever wanted to know
17 Good news! Now you’ll be able to identify who brought in the smelly food!
18 An easy way to create unwanted distractions
19 The most efficient way to bring a building to its fire code capacity
20 No more listening to awkward conversations–because we’ll all be wearing headphones
21 The difference between your open office and management’s is the enthusiasm
22 New! Lower walls for more awkward glares
23 You’ll never feel alone at work again …even if you want to
24 You can still work on side projects if you minimize tabs fast enough
25 You’ll get really good at minimizing browser tabs
26 The fastest way to learn how loud your co-worker’s mouse clicks
27 It’s not just brighter, it’s also louder
28 If you’ve already used up all your vacation days, you may have a rough few months ahead of you
29 Now you’ve got a better reason to use up all your vacation days each year
30 Distracted all your collegaues personal items? Not anymore!
31 Now you can maintain eye contact as you IM the colleague sitting next to you
32 No need to ask people how a project is coming when you can see them working on it
33 Good news! Now you don’t have to wonder about office politics happening behind your back
34 No more secrets! Now everyone will know how often you pee
35 For coworkers tired of privacy
36 Are you distracted by peace & quiet? Not anymore!
37 The extroverted paradise for 9-5
38 8 hours a day just got a lot more personal
39 Let the world get up in your grill
40 Good news! No more awkward “personal space” for you
41 Distracted by privacy? Not anymore!
42 All the benefits of working alongside your colleagues, without any extra interaction
43 Where you find your reason to wear better headphones, even when you’re not listening to music
44 Would you beleive I used to be productive! For 8 hours a day!
45 All the silence with more of the people
46 You never realized how antisocial you were until now
47 Helping the business save on the bottom line
48 Melt away company morale
49 Proof you are nothing but a number
50 Slashing company morale, one overheard conversation at at time
A “REAL” ATTEMPT
51 The best way to collaborate, is to sit with your team
52 Football players huddle. Now you can too.
53 Conference rooms are overrated
54 Who needs meetings when you can just talk to eachother like people?
55 The best way to feel like you’re part of a team, is to look up and see their faces
56 It’s easy to collaborate when all you need to do is turn your ahead
57 For people who feel that walls shouldn’t seperate a team
58 Why let a little thing like a 6′ wall come between you and your teammate
59 You never forget your teammates are in the trenches with you, when you’re looking at them
60 Raise the bar on getting work done–together
61 Institute an open door policy–by phyiscally removing the doors
62 You may not have realized it yet, but your team is right here beside you
63 Work as a team. Sit as a team.
64 Who needs walls when you’ve got co-workers like this?
65 The best part of an open office? You never have to eat alone.
66 No more sad, lonely lunches. You’ve got a whole team here with you.
67 Time to make some new friends!
68 To the men and women in the trenches… Look around and see your team
69 How to develop a tighter team, more respect, and a powerhouse group capable of anything
70 New office plan promotes better communication than Skype or Slack ever could
71 What’s your best chance to improve collaboration? The answer might be in the walls
72 Good ideas don’t happen in a vacuum. So tear down those walls between your peers.
73 Almost everyone has a million-dollar idea. Collaboration makes it worth even more.
74 You may have reservations about an open-office environment. But it really does make life better.
75 An easy way to improve collaboration
76 How to increase colleague communication and face-time with your peers
77 Now all you need to do to be recognized, is show up
78 To an introvert who would succeed if more people noticed them… this is your chance.
79 3 Powerful walls that have been holding you back are about to come down
80 Tired of living the Dilbert life? Tear down those cubes!
81 I’d like talk to my follow colleagues… but the walls are in the way
82 Now all you need to do for a little feedback, is look to your left
83 What would become of your productivity if you could collaborate wth colleagues more easily?
84 I’m 3 walls lighter and a whole team stronger
85 Who else wants a closer team with no walls between us?
86 Drop the walls and raise your game
87 Walls? Where we’re going, we don’t need walls.
88 We don’t need no stinkin’ walls!
89 Why put up drab, grey wals when we have beautiful sun all around us?
90 If you’ve already put up walls between yourself and your staff, this is your chance to tear them down
91 The better floor plan for more productive teams
92 Creating closer teams, one wall drop at a time
93 Would you beleive we never used to talk!?
94 With the removal of just a few walls, your teams get closer together
95 See the floor plans that’s bringing teams together, whether they wanted it or not
96 Your office is about to look whole lot prettier
97 No more cube farms for you!
98 Your office is about to get a whole lot bigger
99 You said you always wanted more access to you boss…
100 Helping employees get recognized, just for showing up

Overall: Meh. It’s done. Don’t write grumpy, kids.

Lessons: Doing a pros/con split like this might be useful for a real project at some point. But even that might be a stretch. I will say, the fun list put me in a slightly better mood than when I started. It can be a good challenge to write for the opposite team.

Time: 2 sessions, 50 minutes.