You can skip this one. It’s me having a little fun and fooling around. There’s not going to be much here…

I was talking to a friend about open-office plans and decided to write about it. I split it into 50 pros & 50 cons. It’s kinda snarky. A little funny, but I sorta dialed this one one…

…They can’t all be winners.

Here are 100 lines about Open Floor Plans

1Finally meet the people you talk to on Slack
2Discover annoying personal habits of your colleagues you never knew they had
3Listen to your new neighbors chew like they’re eating gravel
4Now you have a reason to buy those headphones you’ve been eyeing
5Never eat lunch alone again (even if you want to)
6Learn why having walls is a good thing
7Compared to your new neighbor, you’ll find you really don’t spend too much time on Facebook
8Develop a deeper appreciation for peace & quiet
9Now we all have a window view
10Let a little light into your desk space
11The office environment those who sit elsewhere want you to have
12People who sit in private offices think this is a good idea
13Open offices are a great idea! …For the bottom line
14Learn more than you ever wanted to about the personal habits of your colleagues
15The fastest way to find out about your colleagues hygeine, without having to ask
16Discover way more about colleagues than you ever wanted to know
17Good news! Now you’ll be able to identify who brought in the smelly food!
18An easy way to create unwanted distractions
19The most efficient way to bring a building to its fire code capacity
20No more listening to awkward conversations–because we’ll all be wearing headphones
21The difference between your open office and management’s is the enthusiasm
22New! Lower walls for more awkward glares
23You’ll never feel alone at work again …even if you want to
24You can still work on side projects if you minimize tabs fast enough
25You’ll get really good at minimizing browser tabs
26The fastest way to learn how loud your co-worker’s mouse clicks
27It’s not just brighter, it’s also louder
28If you’ve already used up all your vacation days, you may have a rough few months ahead of you
29Now you’ve got a better reason to use up all your vacation days each year
30Distracted all your collegaues personal items? Not anymore!
31Now you can maintain eye contact as you IM the colleague sitting next to you
32No need to ask people how a project is coming when you can see them working on it
33Good news! Now you don’t have to wonder about office politics happening behind your back
34No more secrets! Now everyone will know how often you pee
35For coworkers tired of privacy
36Are you distracted by peace & quiet? Not anymore!
37The extroverted paradise for 9-5
388 hours a day just got a lot more personal
39Let the world get up in your grill
40Good news! No more awkward “personal space” for you
41Distracted by privacy? Not anymore!
42All the benefits of working alongside your colleagues, without any extra interaction
43Where you find your reason to wear better headphones, even when you’re not listening to music
44Would you beleive I used to be productive! For 8 hours a day!
45All the silence with more of the people
46You never realized how antisocial you were until now
47Helping the business save on the bottom line
48Melt away company morale
49Proof you are nothing but a number
50Slashing company morale, one overheard conversation at at time
51The best way to collaborate, is to sit with your team
52Football players huddle. Now you can too.
53Conference rooms are overrated
54Who needs meetings when you can just talk to eachother like people?
55The best way to feel like you’re part of a team, is to look up and see their faces
56It’s easy to collaborate when all you need to do is turn your ahead
57For people who feel that walls shouldn’t seperate a team
58Why let a little thing like a 6′ wall come between you and your teammate
59You never forget your teammates are in the trenches with you, when you’re looking at them
60Raise the bar on getting work done–together
61Institute an open door policy–by phyiscally removing the doors
62You may not have realized it yet, but your team is right here beside you
63Work as a team. Sit as a team.
64Who needs walls when you’ve got co-workers like this?
65The best part of an open office? You never have to eat alone.
66No more sad, lonely lunches. You’ve got a whole team here with you.
67Time to make some new friends!
68To the men and women in the trenches… Look around and see your team
69How to develop a tighter team, more respect, and a powerhouse group capable of anything
70New office plan promotes better communication than Skype or Slack ever could
71What’s your best chance to improve collaboration? The answer might be in the walls
72Good ideas don’t happen in a vacuum. So tear down those walls between your peers.
73Almost everyone has a million-dollar idea. Collaboration makes it worth even more.
74You may have reservations about an open-office environment. But it really does make life better.
75An easy way to improve collaboration
76How to increase colleague communication and face-time with your peers
77Now all you need to do to be recognized, is show up
78To an introvert who would succeed if more people noticed them… this is your chance.
793 Powerful walls that have been holding you back are about to come down
80Tired of living the Dilbert life? Tear down those cubes!
81I’d like talk to my follow colleagues… but the walls are in the way
82Now all you need to do for a little feedback, is look to your left
83What would become of your productivity if you could collaborate wth colleagues more easily?
84I’m 3 walls lighter and a whole team stronger
85Who else wants a closer team with no walls between us?
86Drop the walls and raise your game
87Walls? Where we’re going, we don’t need walls.
88We don’t need no stinkin’ walls!
89Why put up drab, grey wals when we have beautiful sun all around us?
90If you’ve already put up walls between yourself and your staff, this is your chance to tear them down
91The better floor plan for more productive teams
92Creating closer teams, one wall drop at a time
93Would you beleive we never used to talk!?
94With the removal of just a few walls, your teams get closer together
95See the floor plans that’s bringing teams together, whether they wanted it or not
96Your office is about to look whole lot prettier
97No more cube farms for you!
98Your office is about to get a whole lot bigger
99You said you always wanted more access to you boss…
100Helping employees get recognized, just for showing up

Overall: Meh. It’s done. Don’t write grumpy, kids.

Lessons: Doing a pros/con split like this might be useful for a real project at some point. But even that might be a stretch. I will say, the fun list put me in a slightly better mood than when I started. It can be a good challenge to write for the opposite team.

Time: 2 sessions, 50 minutes.