The 60 Day Recap


I had a little fun with this batch. We’ve got everything from pet wines, to self-making beds, to a candle that smells like your butt. There’s some digital stuff, too.

Yes, some are lowbrow, but I kept it (mostly) clean. They’re all SFW.

It’s a good group overall. I enjoyed writing these and learning more about different audiences. I’ve been diving deeper into reviews—which had mixed results. More on that at the bottom.

For now, here’s the 10-post recap:

The Posts


  1. The Fart Candle: Yup. We’re starting out on a brown high note. This is one of those posts that you already know if you’re going to read or not. If you vote yes, you’ll find my favorite post of the group. A little potty humor is good for the soul.
  • Most people like nice smells. But you’re not most people.
  • You’ve completed the look for your man cave. Now complete the smell.
  • Just like grandma used to make


  1. Spritz Speed Reading App: I’m a fan of this little humdinger of technology. It flashes text word-by-word for faster intake. Essentially, a speed reading app for people who don’t speed read. There’s a link in the post if you want to try it. Maybe the lines below will convince you.
  • The fastest way to binge written content
  • If you thought reading was nerdy before, wait until you see what we just did to it
  • Read the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs (if you get this reference, let’s go bullseye womp rats)


  1. Unstable Unicorns Card Game:  This Kickstarter item caught my eye for 2 reasons: 1) They’ve destroyed their fundraising goal several times over. 2) The name and graphics are hilarious. I’m not much of a strategy gamer, but this card set which pits armies of evil unicorns against each other seems like a good time. Their branding is top-notch, so the lines aren’t needed, but I thought it’d be fun to try anyway.
  • Twisting everything you know about unicorns into a big, evil, murder pile of stabbiness
  • Kill a unicorn without the guilt
  • The only game that lets you stab a unicorn in self defense


  1. Illumibowl:  Back to the bathroom already, Justin? I know. Blame Shark Tank. This night light clamps to your toilet for midnight bathroom trips. My kind of topic.
  • When nature calls, we light the way
  • The best bathroom invention since the toilet


  1. Apollo Peak Pet Wines: Before you call the ASPCA, please note these are non-alcoholic. I’m an animal lover, remember? 5% of all my project fees go toward animal rescue. (The other 95% goes toward bourbon.) The lines came out decent, but I struggled to find the balance between humor and actual benefits.
  • You don’t have to drink alone anymore
  • A significant upgrade from drinking out of the toilet


  1. Zendesk Customer Service: Zendesk runs customer service for huge companies—and there’s a significant chance you’ve interacted with them without knowing it. They run lots of chats. I pulled key themes from reviews, which made it a little formal, but good overall.


  1. Thompson Sweat Proof T-Shirts: This one surprised me. I realized quickly that I needed to be sensitive. The reviews were emotional, so I wrote to that. I’m happy with the way these came out. Respectful & addressing a pain point.
  • Now you can wear blue shirts again.
  • Stop being afraid to raise your hand


  1. The Smart Duvet: I can’t stop talking about this blanket. It’s got air channels to heat or cool each side, and it makes itself! Holy sheet. Want! Oh, I also kinda nailed the lines.
  • No more fighting over sleep temperature… Or who makes the bed.
  • Tired of sleeping in a different climate zone than your spouse?
  • This self-making bed just made all your dreams come true


  1. Buzzfeed Style:  OK, so a lot of what I write are more taglines and messages than headlines. So today I took a random buzzfeed article, “19 facts you thought were true but are actually total bullsh*t” and rewrote the name. Honestly, this wasn’t a challenge. I whipped it up in 45 minutes. The lines are ok, but it’s internety garbage. This is not copywriting.


  1. Jump TNT Trampoline Training: I wrote these lines while watching my kids play at a trampoline park. The list came out alright, but it was tough to capture the real energy of the place. It looked like a training ground for super heroes.
  • Whoever told you to stay grounded was wrong



I can’t say there was a ton of learning here. But I did confirm I don’t want to write for products I don’t believe in. Bad reviews pull the wind out of my sails. I’m not here to judge, but I will say that a deep dive into comments can make or break my passion for a topic.

  • I wrote the entire list of Buzzfeed lines without the template. First time doing that.
  • I routinely hit 80+ lines without using templates. Dayummmmmm!
  • Even after 60 topics, I’m still trying to nail down my niche. I’m weeding out things I don’t like, but I’m still not sure who to target.
  • There’s a narrow sweet spot between too much freedom and too many restrictions. No boundaries is often harder than writing constrained.


General Update

The Copywriter Club has been using my lines on their newsletter—and it’s awesome! I hope to see more of my lists pop up on the interwebs. And if people want to pay me for them, well that’d be great too…

It’s nice to have the end creeping into view. I’m glad I’m doing this project, but it’s a beast. And I’m still looking for ways to optimize it while the iron is hot.

Family is coming first again. I cashed in a freebie day to go camping with my son on Friday & Saturday. No Wi-Fi, no computer, and no list that would’ve been worth trading that time for.

Also, Friday was my birthday.
Image result for my birthday gif

Stay headliney,