I’m still getting the “hang” of these new lines. Get it? Cuz I’m writing about Hang Ups? Eh?
* Nudge Nudge *
…Never mind.
Yesterday’s second attempt at a post for 5-hour Energy came out OK, but not tremendous. Today I’m going to try it with a rehash of Teeter Hang-Ups.
For those that may not remember this one from day 22, inversion tables are used for back injuries and sciatica pain. I use one for an old hockey injury. Also, because my son thinks I’m Batman when I hang upside-down.
Hey, you don’t know that I’m not Batman
source: http://dailym.ai/2xlyumW
Anyway, this will be day 3 of using the Direct Response lines. Let’s see how it goes:
| 1 | For the tense-muscle sufferer tired of being in pain |
| 2 | Would you believe it? I couldn’t touch my toes yesterday. |
| 3 | To the back pain sufferer who want to remember what it’s like to touch their toes |
| 4 | New inversion table flips back pain on its head |
| 5 | I’m 18″ more flexible by using a Teeter |
| 6 | Is it crazy to approach back pain relief from an upside down angle? |
| 7 | For people with tight muscles who hate foam rollers |
| 8 | Back pain relief at a lower cost than a chiropractor |
| 9 | When you buy from craigslist, you own that table whether you like it not |
| 10 | In just over 20 seconds, you’ll take all the weight all your spine it’s been holding all day |
| 11 | Most chiropractors work from 9-5 on weekdays. But those aren’t the hours when your back hurts the most |
| 12 | An easy way to make your back feel better |
| 13 | Turning back pain on its head, one table at a time |
| 14 | If you’ve already gone through the day with back pain, don’t read this. You’ll regret every painful minute |
| 15 | Now! Back pain relief without the need for doctors and a co-pay |
| 16 | The “ahh, my back feels great!” inversion table |
| 17 | Most chiropractor bills have a $20 copay and require continued treatment for life. Our product is just $399.95 and works in 2 minutes. No copay. |
| 18 | To the back pain sufferer who will settle for nothing less than touching their toes |
| 19 | When you go to the chiropractor, you pay whether they help you or not |
| 20 | Now! Inversion tables without the fear of falling or getting stuck upside down! |
| 21 | How to develop a looser spine, flexible hamstrings, and a skip in your step |
| 22 | How to increase your flexibility and mobility without going to the doctor |
| 23 | 90 degrees are the reason my back pain is disappearing |
| 24 | We sell the product you see at your sporting goods store, only ours are safe to use at home |
| 25 | If your teeter isn’t right for you, we’ll take it back—Free |
| 26 | What would become of you if your back went out tomorrow? |
| 27 | All you need to do is flip and stretch |
| 28 | New back pain solution adds space between your spine and makes you feel like you’re floating |
| 29 | Your best chance to make your back pain disappear? The answer might gravity |
| 30 | Flips back pain right on its head |
| 31 | Loosen your spine in under 2 minutes |
| 32 | How to increase your range of motion without going to physical therapy |
| 33 | Like reaching for the sky, but from the opposite angle |
| 34 | Flip back pain right out of your body |
| 35 | Sciatica flare-ups can be foreseen—and prevented |
| 36 | Which sciatica suffer uses a teeter? And which had surgery? |
| 37 | For sciatica and muscle pain you want gone in 20 seconds |
| 38 | Never struggle to stand up straight, and start turning yourself upside down |
| 39 | If you’ve already bought a gimmick for your back, don’t read this. It’ll make you mad |
| 40 | The back pain table that turns your problem on its head |
| 41 | Stretches away back pain |
| 42 | in 2 minutes, Teeter begins relieving back pain |
| 43 | Most professional tables cost over $4,000. At Teeter, you can always try ours for just $14.95. No tricks. |
| 44 | Enjoy the day without the back pain |
| 45 | Where spines stretch longer |
| 46 | The same product you see at the sporting goods store, without the rattle and cheap parts |
| 47 | Electric inversion tables cost over $4,000 dollars. We sell ours for just $399.95. Which would you rather pay? |
| 48 | Back pain relief that pays for itself in your own home |
| 49 | Almost everyone has a sore back. Here’s how to make it gone |
| 50 | The inversion table that doesn’t feel rickety |
| 51 | To a back pain sufferer who would like to feel whole again |
| 52 | Don’t just stretch – stretch upside down |
| 53 | The one back pain table that’s reducing the need for surgery 70.5% |
| 54 | Where you feel your back pain stretch away, and sciatica pulls the pinch |
| 55 | Top quality chiropractic equipment usually sells for $4,000 dollars. Ours is $399.95. Which would you rather pay? |
| 56 | Helping tight muscles stretch out all the kinks |
| 57 | We sell the same tables your doctors use for 50% less |
| 58 | Almost everyone would pay to have their back pain stretch away. Here’s how we do it. |
| 59 | An easy way to stretch away back pain |
| 60 | Don’t give one cent of your hard-earned money to a chiropractor until you try this treatment |
| 61 | The difference between inversion tables is the quality of the parts |
| 62 | To anyone suffering from sciatica, who would like to never hear that word again |
| 63 | I’m as flexible as I was at 21 |
| 64 | We have 4 different models in fully adjustable sizes, all for less than $400 |
| 65 | You may not have seen Teeter Hang-ups on TV, but we want to help your back |
| 66 | Rediscover what it’s like not to walk in pain |
| 67 | Who else wants back pain relief without medicine, surgery, or doctors? |
| 68 | Would you ever believe that I couldn’t get out of bed last week? |
| 69 | I’d like to give this to my fellow back pain sufferer… while I am still able to help |
| 70 | What’s the best way to ease your back pain? The answer might be approaching it from a new angle |
| 71 | Your back pain can be half as bad tomorrow—and halved again after that |
| 72 | The difference between inversion tables is the confidence ours won’t fall apart while you’re on it |
| 73 | How to reach the sky when it’s above your toes |
| 74 | The inversion table for better backs |
| 75 | If your Teeter doesn’t help you, we’ll take it back- for free |
| 76 | The inversion table that remedies your pain from a new angle |
| 77 | Don’t pay one more copay to a doctor until you read about Teeter |
| 78 | What would become of your life if your back pain continued to increase? |
| 79 | Who else wants a healthier spine without surgery? |
| 80 | Send me to any city in the United States, and I’ll show you a person whose back feels better because of a Teeter |
| 81 | Most back specialists work 9-5. But you can’t control when your sciatica will flare up |
| 82 | In two minutes, you’ll begin feeling pain free all day |
| 83 | Announcing a new inversion table that reduces the need for surgery by 70.5% |
| 84 | Where back pain sufferers get the stretch they’ve been missing |
| 85 | Back pain can be foreseen from the moment you start working hard—and prevented |
| 86 | Announcing a new exercise machine for people seeking back relief in a few minutes a day |
| 87 | You don’t know it yet, but you want to stretch upside down before it’s too late |
| 88 | Would you believe it? I have sciatica! |
| 89 | Stop reaching up to stretch, and start flipping yourself over |
| 90 | Helping back pain sufferers get the relief they need |
| 91 | I’d like to give this to anyone who suffers back pain with me—so they can see how good it feels |
| 92 | How to stretch your back, relieve sciatica, and walk around like you did before you were in pain |
| 93 | Almost everyone knows back pain. We know the cure. |
| 94 | Back pain sufferers – your spine isn’t going to stretch itself |
| 95 | You are twice as flexible as you think |
| 96 | Send me to any chiropractor in the United States, or any back pain specialist, and I’ll walk away with complete list of signatures from doctors who recommend inversion therapy |
| 97 | Is it odd to cure back pain like this? |
| 98 | To the back pain sufferer who wants nothing less than a full range of mobility |
| 99 | Which back pain sufferer has the teeter? And which one doesn’t trust their table? |
| 100 | To the men & women who want to touch their toes again |
Overall: A little old-school. There are some good lines here, and I think the best ones may be better than the first post. But overall, they felt a little too newspaper ad-ish. Which makes total sense given the source, but that’s not what I’m going for here.
Lessons: I’ve started whittling down the Direct Response list from about 37 to 20 or so lines that I like. I’ll continue to pare it down and get back to my usual posting style tomorrow
Time: Only about 40 minutes since it was straight from a list.
P.S. – I apparently tagged yesterday’s post wrong & it didn’t show up in under the correct section. Sorry about that!
Note – Some of the claims made above are fictitious. This isn’t an ad for Teeter, so please don’t tell them “Justin said this would make me better and I could return it for free!” – cuz I’m telling you now, I’ve done zero research on this.
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