Image result for cat fetch

My friend posted a cat video on Facebook that had such an awful, click-baity headline that it made me stand up and take notice. But not in a good way. In an “I’m going to mark this one for The Headline Project” way.

I’m against Buzzfeed-style headlines in general. Lob them onto a disappointing cat video, and you’ve got most of the things I hate about the internet. But here’s proof that there’s hope! Focus on the right part of the story, with the right headline, and you’ve got halfway decent content.

So let’s do more of that.

Here are 100 headlines I would’ve chosen over MAN STOPS FEEDING HIS CAT AND GIVES HIM BALLS… NOW WATCH THE FOOD BOWL WHEN THE CAT FINDS IT:

1 Teach your cat to feed itself using this hunting technique
2 Is your kitty as smart as this little ball hunter?
3 Clever cat or genius owner? You decide.
4 If your cat ate dinner like this, you’d film it too
5 The cat feeding technique that makes meals fun for everyone
6 This engineer just made a genius solution for his fat cat to lose weight–and now we want one too
7 Want your cat to diet? Try teaching it how to hunt for this
8 If you think your cat is smart enough to hunt for its food like this one, raise its paw
9 When you turn dieting into a game like this, your cat won’t mind working to shed a few pounds
10 Learn what a little ingenuity and 3 whiffle balls can do for your cat’s diet
11 See this cat earn a 3-course meal by playing hide-and-seek
12 When your cat can fetch like a dog, it can also feed itself. Here’s how.
13 This feeder is the cat’s pajamas
14 You might think a cat would starve to death if you tried to feed it like this, but watch & learn
15 How to build an automatic feeder for your cat using 3 whiffle balls
16 This man’s video of his new cat feeding game made us happy
17 Someone call Guinness–we just found the smartest cat alive
18 Is your cat a hunter? Here’s how to make meals fun.
19 The cat diet game that will make you smile
20 Watch how one man is making his cat earn its dinner–and it’s never been healthier
21 See how one electrical engineer just build a cat feeder that reminds us of a carnival game
22 Monkey the cat needs to earn his food. Watch how.
23 We can’t decide if the owner or the cat is the smartest one in the house
24 Think your cat could play a carnival game for food like this one?
25 This electrical engineer just changed the game for feeding cats
26 Watch what happens when this cat drops a secret ball into his food dish
27 Watch how this cat learned a new trick from his friend, the engineer
28 Want to know how you can teach your cat to feed itself? The answer involves a whiffle ball
29 If all meals were this much fun, everyone would have a healthy cat
30 The only thing in the house smarter than this electrical engineer, is his cat
31 Watch how this man took his cat’s feeding techniques to 11
32 This engineer just made dinner fun for his cat. Maybe you can try it too
33 Think you can train a dog to eat as smart this cat does?
34 Challenge your cat to a game of hide-and-seek
35 Does your kitty need to earn its food like this one?
36 See how a man taught his cat to hunt for whiffle balls using a little ingenuity
37 The self-feeding cat invention that will put a smile on your face
38 In the next 2 minutes, you’re going to smile at how this cat earns its dinner each night
39 What do a carnival game, a cat feeder and dieting have in common? Watch to find out.
40 This cat has to play a fun little game to earn its lunch. You might want to try this at home.
41 See how this cat earns its food by having fun
42 See if you can build this automatic feeder for your cat
43 The new game for your cat that makes dinner fun for everyone involved
44 Watch this cat hunt for a toy to earn his lunch
45 All you need is a cat, a feeder, and 3 whiffle balls…
46 Can your cat play hide-and-seek? Then maybe you can teach it do this
47 In 2:02, you’ll be amazed how this cat earns its food each night
48 Watch how 3 whiffle balls just made dinner time way more fun for this cool kitty
49 This cat feeding technique takes the cake
50 Think your cat is smart enough to hunt for its food like this cool kitty?
51 Watch how a mechanical engineer taught his cat to eat
52 The feline feeding invention that helped this cat shed its extra pounds
53 See how this cat is losing weight through a game of hide-and-seek
54 Watch how this cat earns its dinner by searching for 3 whiffle balls
55 Who’s smarter–this cat or its owner?
56 Even if you’re not a fan of cats, this game of hide-and-seek will impress you
57 Are you as smart as this cat or its owner? Maybe you can try this home.
58 This engineer wanted his cat to be healthier. So he just gamified dinner. Watch how.
59 This cat feeding technique isn’t available in stores, but you’re going to want one
60 Watch how this healthy fetch technique taught a cat to diet.
61 This kitty eats earns his dinner each night by playing fetch. Think yours could do it?
62 Watch what happens when this fat cat was forced to work for his dinner
63 Watch how this genius feeds his cat–making it smarter and healthier each day
64 This engineer had a fat cat and some extra time. Now he’s got a skinny cat and a great story.
65 How to get your cat to diet using 3 whiffle balls
66 Is your cat a hunter or a gatherer? This one is both!
67 Watch how this cat just became a hunter and a gatherer
68 Teach your cat to fetch, and you’ll have the secret to dieting. Watch.
69 This cat might be smarter than its human. Watch and see.
70 This custom cat feeder gives us paws
71 Watch how this man makes his cat work his for food (the video will make you smile!)
72 This cat has to hunt for its meal ticket each night–and he loves every minute of it
73 This man just turned a feeder into a game–and his cat is loving it
74 Watch how one man gamified feeding time for his cute little kitty
75 The dieting technique that turns your feeding time to a game
76 When this engineer worried about his cat’s weight, he invented something new. And it’s working.
77 Here’s an interesting cat feeding invention you might want to try
78 When this cat finds the hidden toy, he turns it for food
79 The “Take my money!” cat feeding technique that gamifies dinner time
80 We’ve seen a lot of crazy diet inventions, but this one for cats takes the cake
81 Think you can build a cat feeder that makes dinner time as much fun as this?
82 Watch how this man just gamified meal time for his cat
83 Watch how a man feeds his cats using a whiffle ball
84 Cats are smart. This video is proof.
85 This invention gamifies dinner for cats and humans–and felines are losing weight
86 Can your cat fetch like this?
87 How one fat shed the pounds when his owner gamified dinner
88 The hide-and-seek feeding technique for raising a healthy cat
89 See how a little bit of hide-and-seek makes this cat healthier than yours
90 Would your cat do anything for food? How about hunt for a whiffle ball like this cute kitty
91 Can someone please mass produce this custom cat feeder right meow!?
92 The way this cat earns its food makes us wonder what else it can do
93 The next 2:02 will teach you how to train your cat to feed itself
94 We’d pay good money for a cat feeding device like this
95 Monkey the cat has to search for his dinner each night. The video will make you smile.
96 Watch how a cat named Monkey just became the smartest kitty on the block
97 This cat plays hide-and-seek for its dinner–and it’s a game he never wants to stop
98 If you can teach your cat to eat like this, dieting won’t be a problem
99 His cat started getting fat–so this electrical engineer whipped up a special invention you might be jealous of
100 Careful–after you see how this engineer gamified dinner for his fat cat, you’re going to want to do it too

 

Overall: Better than the original. I still don’t like writing these types of headlines. They’re not a challenge. I can do this all day if I want to hate myself.

Lessons: I hate click-bait. Listen, the idea behind the video is good. There could be a whole blog post and instructional video about how this man created an engaging self-feeder for his cats. It would be informative, useful, and could even bring in money if he wanted to sell it. So could we do that please, internet?

  • This is the second click bait list I’ve written without assistance from the template. I’m not proud of either.
  • This isn’t copywriting.
  • I took the liberty of saying the man is a mechanical engineer. I don’t know if that’s true.

Time: 45 minutes.

Sign up to get the next Headline Project recap, right meow!

 

Get The Best Of The Last 1,000 Lines

Skip straight to the good stuff & learn the lessons I’ve learned from writing the last 10 posts. Save yourself from all the practice hours. And caffeine. 

You have Successfully Subscribed!