Image result for cat fetch

My friend posted a cat video on Facebook that had such an awful, click-baity headline that it made me stand up and take notice. But not in a good way. In an “I’m going to mark this one for The Headline Project” way.

I’m against Buzzfeed-style headlines in general. Lob them onto a disappointing cat video, and you’ve got most of the things I hate about the internet. But here’s proof that there’s hope! Focus on the right part of the story, with the right headline, and you’ve got halfway decent content.

So let’s do more of that.

Here are 100 headlines I would’ve chosen over MAN STOPS FEEDING HIS CAT AND GIVES HIM BALLS… NOW WATCH THE FOOD BOWL WHEN THE CAT FINDS IT:

1Teach your cat to feed itself using this hunting technique
2Is your kitty as smart as this little ball hunter?
3Clever cat or genius owner? You decide.
4If your cat ate dinner like this, you’d film it too
5The cat feeding technique that makes meals fun for everyone
6This engineer just made a genius solution for his fat cat to lose weight–and now we want one too
7Want your cat to diet? Try teaching it how to hunt for this
8If you think your cat is smart enough to hunt for its food like this one, raise its paw
9When you turn dieting into a game like this, your cat won’t mind working to shed a few pounds
10Learn what a little ingenuity and 3 whiffle balls can do for your cat’s diet
11See this cat earn a 3-course meal by playing hide-and-seek
12When your cat can fetch like a dog, it can also feed itself. Here’s how.
13This feeder is the cat’s pajamas
14You might think a cat would starve to death if you tried to feed it like this, but watch & learn
15How to build an automatic feeder for your cat using 3 whiffle balls
16This man’s video of his new cat feeding game made us happy
17Someone call Guinness–we just found the smartest cat alive
18Is your cat a hunter? Here’s how to make meals fun.
19The cat diet game that will make you smile
20Watch how one man is making his cat earn its dinner–and it’s never been healthier
21See how one electrical engineer just build a cat feeder that reminds us of a carnival game
22Monkey the cat needs to earn his food. Watch how.
23We can’t decide if the owner or the cat is the smartest one in the house
24Think your cat could play a carnival game for food like this one?
25This electrical engineer just changed the game for feeding cats
26Watch what happens when this cat drops a secret ball into his food dish
27Watch how this cat learned a new trick from his friend, the engineer
28Want to know how you can teach your cat to feed itself? The answer involves a whiffle ball
29If all meals were this much fun, everyone would have a healthy cat
30The only thing in the house smarter than this electrical engineer, is his cat
31Watch how this man took his cat’s feeding techniques to 11
32This engineer just made dinner fun for his cat. Maybe you can try it too
33Think you can train a dog to eat as smart this cat does?
34Challenge your cat to a game of hide-and-seek
35Does your kitty need to earn its food like this one?
36See how a man taught his cat to hunt for whiffle balls using a little ingenuity
37The self-feeding cat invention that will put a smile on your face
38In the next 2 minutes, you’re going to smile at how this cat earns its dinner each night
39What do a carnival game, a cat feeder and dieting have in common? Watch to find out.
40This cat has to play a fun little game to earn its lunch. You might want to try this at home.
41See how this cat earns its food by having fun
42See if you can build this automatic feeder for your cat
43The new game for your cat that makes dinner fun for everyone involved
44Watch this cat hunt for a toy to earn his lunch
45All you need is a cat, a feeder, and 3 whiffle balls…
46Can your cat play hide-and-seek? Then maybe you can teach it do this
47In 2:02, you’ll be amazed how this cat earns its food each night
48Watch how 3 whiffle balls just made dinner time way more fun for this cool kitty
49This cat feeding technique takes the cake
50Think your cat is smart enough to hunt for its food like this cool kitty?
51Watch how a mechanical engineer taught his cat to eat
52The feline feeding invention that helped this cat shed its extra pounds
53See how this cat is losing weight through a game of hide-and-seek
54Watch how this cat earns its dinner by searching for 3 whiffle balls
55Who’s smarter–this cat or its owner?
56Even if you’re not a fan of cats, this game of hide-and-seek will impress you
57Are you as smart as this cat or its owner? Maybe you can try this home.
58This engineer wanted his cat to be healthier. So he just gamified dinner. Watch how.
59This cat feeding technique isn’t available in stores, but you’re going to want one
60Watch how this healthy fetch technique taught a cat to diet.
61This kitty eats earns his dinner each night by playing fetch. Think yours could do it?
62Watch what happens when this fat cat was forced to work for his dinner
63Watch how this genius feeds his cat–making it smarter and healthier each day
64This engineer had a fat cat and some extra time. Now he’s got a skinny cat and a great story.
65How to get your cat to diet using 3 whiffle balls
66Is your cat a hunter or a gatherer? This one is both!
67Watch how this cat just became a hunter and a gatherer
68Teach your cat to fetch, and you’ll have the secret to dieting. Watch.
69This cat might be smarter than its human. Watch and see.
70This custom cat feeder gives us paws
71Watch how this man makes his cat work his for food (the video will make you smile!)
72This cat has to hunt for its meal ticket each night–and he loves every minute of it
73This man just turned a feeder into a game–and his cat is loving it
74Watch how one man gamified feeding time for his cute little kitty
75The dieting technique that turns your feeding time to a game
76When this engineer worried about his cat’s weight, he invented something new. And it’s working.
77Here’s an interesting cat feeding invention you might want to try
78When this cat finds the hidden toy, he turns it for food
79The “Take my money!” cat feeding technique that gamifies dinner time
80We’ve seen a lot of crazy diet inventions, but this one for cats takes the cake
81Think you can build a cat feeder that makes dinner time as much fun as this?
82Watch how this man just gamified meal time for his cat
83Watch how a man feeds his cats using a whiffle ball
84Cats are smart. This video is proof.
85This invention gamifies dinner for cats and humans–and felines are losing weight
86Can your cat fetch like this?
87How one fat shed the pounds when his owner gamified dinner
88The hide-and-seek feeding technique for raising a healthy cat
89See how a little bit of hide-and-seek makes this cat healthier than yours
90Would your cat do anything for food? How about hunt for a whiffle ball like this cute kitty
91Can someone please mass produce this custom cat feeder right meow!?
92The way this cat earns its food makes us wonder what else it can do
93The next 2:02 will teach you how to train your cat to feed itself
94We’d pay good money for a cat feeding device like this
95Monkey the cat has to search for his dinner each night. The video will make you smile.
96Watch how a cat named Monkey just became the smartest kitty on the block
97This cat plays hide-and-seek for its dinner–and it’s a game he never wants to stop
98If you can teach your cat to eat like this, dieting won’t be a problem
99His cat started getting fat–so this electrical engineer whipped up a special invention you might be jealous of
100Careful–after you see how this engineer gamified dinner for his fat cat, you’re going to want to do it too

 

Overall: Better than the original. I still don’t like writing these types of headlines. They’re not a challenge. I can do this all day if I want to hate myself.

Lessons: I hate click-bait. Listen, the idea behind the video is good. There could be a whole blog post and instructional video about how this man created an engaging self-feeder for his cats. It would be informative, useful, and could even bring in money if he wanted to sell it. So could we do that please, internet?

  • This is the second click bait list I’ve written without assistance from the template. I’m not proud of either.
  • This isn’t copywriting.
  • I took the liberty of saying the man is a mechanical engineer. I don’t know if that’s true.

Time: 45 minutes.

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