OK, it would be a fair critique to say a lot of my posts have been more taglines than headlines. I could argue that I’m focusing on key messages, but I owe it to you to write some genuine headlines today.
So here you go.
Now, I’m not a fan of BuzzFeed. They’ve made a business out of exaggerated headlines and mediocre content. But I can’t argue that first part. They’ve made a business.
Today I’m going to write in their style.
I pulled a random article; “19 Facts You Thought Were True But Are Actually Total Bullshit” and I put my spin on it. I also tried to write in a way that would make my mom proud. Not that she’s ever read BuzzFeed…
So here are 102 altered headlines for “19 Facts You Thought Were True But Are Actually Total Bullshit”:
| 1 | Facts or lunacy? 19 things you thought wrong. |
| 2 | 19 “facts” that prove you may not be as smart as you think |
| 3 | 19 things nearly everyone is wrong about |
| 4 | You’ll feel silly for believing these things as long as you did |
| 5 | 19 Random things you’ve been wrong about your whole life |
| 6 | Silly goose! These 19 things aren’t true. |
| 7 | You’ve been wrong about these 19 things your whole life |
| 8 | 19 Lies you’ve believed your whole life |
| 9 | Fact: What you’ve been taught is fiction |
| 10 | How long did you think this was true? |
| 11 | 19 fallacies that will make you face-palm |
| 12 | How many of these 19 “facts” have you been wrong about? |
| 13 | Fake news? Or just 19 mistakes? |
| 14 | Stop believing these 19 things right now |
| 15 | Tired of being wrong about everything? |
| 16 | How to be less dumb |
| 17 | Time to shed a little light on these 19 ideas |
| 18 | You learned these 19 things when you were a kid, and they’re all wrong |
| 19 | Next time you see a doctor on TV do this, you’ll know it’s Hollywood BS |
| 20 | You’re still believing these 19 things, are you? |
| 21 | The next time someone tells you one of these 19 lies, you can call them on it |
| 22 | Getting these common misconceptions wrong can make you sound dumb |
| 23 | If you believe these 19 “facts”—you’re wrong |
| 24 | 19 things that can make you look dumber than this headline |
| 25 | Want to know what you’ve been wrong about your whole life? |
| 26 | 19 Things you accidentally learned incorrectly |
| 27 | Have you been believing these 19 delusions? |
| 28 | Science just debunked these 19 popular misconceptions |
| 29 | These 19 misnomers can make you look silly |
| 30 | 19 Lies children tell each other |
| 31 | We asked doctors what the real deal is behind these ideas |
| 32 | 19 Ways to be wrong about things |
| 33 | These 19 facts will have you questioning everything you’ve ever learned |
| 34 | Correction: You’ve been wrong about these 19 things your whole life |
| 35 | Read this article to become smarter |
| 36 | You’ll laugh at yourself when you realize what you believed |
| 37 | The faulty logic of 19 popular ideas |
| 38 | Lies you’ve believed since childhood |
| 39 | 19 Alternative facts from the playground (rather than Washington) |
| 40 | Helping you clear up lies you probably believe |
| 41 | Kill these 19 ideas right now |
| 42 | Your gum turns to poop, and 18 other silly things you thought wrong |
| 43 | Everything you know about everything is a false |
| 44 | Did you actually think these 19 things were true? |
| 45 | 19 Lies from the playground |
| 46 | Turns out, you were wrong about these 19 things the whole time |
| 47 | Can you still be smart if you’ve believed these lies your whole life? |
| 48 | Debunking 19 popular fallacies |
| 49 | Should you really be afraid of Narcs? And 18 other facts |
| 50 | Knowing 3 of these 19 things makes you smarter than most people |
| 51 | 19 “facts” that will make you feel silly |
| 52 | The one blog article that shows you what not to do when someone stops breathing |
| 53 | For people tired of being wrong about everything |
| 54 | Don’t worry. We thought these 19 things were true too |
| 55 | Little mistakes you probably believe are correct |
| 56 | You’re wrong all the time, prolyl |
| 57 | Your mother was wrong about these ideas (and so was everyone else) |
| 58 | When you think about it, none of these 19 fallacies never really seemed right |
| 59 | Don’t worry if you accidentally do this to a baby bird |
| 60 | 19 facts for misguided people |
| 61 | 19 things you thought were true but aren’t |
| 62 | 19 Fallacies living in your brain |
| 63 | A bunch of silly things you won’t believe you thought were true |
| 64 | Remember when you learned this on the playground? Turns out you’re wrong. |
| 65 | You’ve been holding on to these 19 misperceptions for way too long |
| 66 | These 19 facts will make you wonder what else you’ve been wrong about |
| 67 | 19 “facts” you won’t see on Mythbusters |
| 68 | The idiot test: Do you believe these 19 “facts?” |
| 69 | 19 myths that need busting |
| 70 | 19 Alternative facts that need clarification |
| 71 | It’s not that you were lied to, you were just told bad information? |
| 72 | Why do people actually think these 19 things are true? |
| 73 | These 19 misperceptions need to die |
| 74 | 19 clarifications that help you avoid looking foolish |
| 75 | Misbeliefs, fallacies & bunk you’ve been told |
| 76 | If you thought these 19 things were true, you might be an idiot |
| 77 | The biggest misperceptions you’ve been holding onto |
| 78 | Lies TV tells you |
| 79 | 19 unsound ideas that need to die |
| 80 | 19 important facts that aren’t facts at all |
| 81 | Just a few clarifications about things you probably know |
| 82 | 19 facts debunked |
| 83 | Faulty logic you’ve held since you were a toddler |
| 84 | 19 things you learned on the playground that aren’t true |
| 85 | Don’t feel bad about getting these 19 ideas wrong. Most people do. |
| 86 | If you think cops need to come clean about this, you’re going to be in big trouble |
| 87 | Nearly 20 things almost everyone gets wrong |
| 88 | You’re going to feel silly when you read the truth about these 19 things |
| 89 | Just a few ways you’ve been wrong your whole life |
| 90 | 19 “facts” you learned in school that are total BS |
| 91 | If your friends believe these 19 things, you need smarter friends |
| 92 | 19 “facts” you can use to tell which of your friends are idiots |
| 93 | 19 Mind-blowing mistruths you’ve been believing |
| 94 | The sooner you learn these 19 things aren’t true, the smarter you’ll be |
| 95 | Don’t try saving lives like they do on TV |
| 96 | If you believe this, you’re failing at life |
| 97 | The 19 things you thought were true but aren’t |
| 98 | Mistakes about animals and your body that might get you into trouble |
| 99 | Learn these 19 things aren’t true before you make a fool of yourself |
| 100 | Big mistakes most people make their whole life |
| 101 | Do these 19 delusions have you under their spell? |
| 102 | Everything you know about these 19 things is a lie |
Overall: I have mixed feelings about this. I’m not proud of any of these. It’s not that the list is bad, The lines are good. But it adds to the things I hate about the internet. It’s just so… internety.
Lessons: This was NOT a challenge. I whipped it up in 45 minutes, never consulted the template, and may as well have been watching TV and thumb wrestling a dinosaur while doing it. Zero concentration required. I pulled the “MythBusters” theme from a comment, and other than consulting the thesaurus for “misconception” these came without needing any inspiration.
This isn’t a bad list. But it’s not copywriting. And I didn’t enjoy it.
Time: 45 minutes. My fastest time to date. Yay?
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