OK, it would be a fair critique to say a lot of my posts have been more taglines than headlines. I could argue that I’m focusing on key messages, but I owe it to you to write some genuine headlines today.

So here you go.

Now, I’m not a fan of BuzzFeed. They’ve made a business out of exaggerated headlines and mediocre content. But I can’t argue that first part. They’ve made a business.

Today I’m going to write in their style.

I pulled a random article; “19 Facts You Thought Were True But Are Actually Total Bullshit” and I put my spin on it. I also tried to write in a way that would make my mom proud. Not that she’s ever read BuzzFeed…

So here are 102 altered headlines for “19 Facts You Thought Were True But Are Actually Total Bullshit”:

1Facts or lunacy? 19 things you thought wrong.
219 “facts” that prove you may not be as smart as you think
319 things nearly everyone is wrong about
4You’ll feel silly for believing these things as long as you did
519 Random things you’ve been wrong about your whole life
6Silly goose! These 19 things aren’t true.
7You’ve been wrong about these 19 things your whole life
819 Lies you’ve believed your whole life
9Fact: What you’ve been taught is fiction
10How long did you think this was true?
1119 fallacies that will make you face-palm
12How many of these 19 “facts” have you been wrong about?
13Fake news? Or just 19 mistakes?
14Stop believing these 19 things right now
15Tired of being wrong about everything?
16How to be less dumb
17Time to shed a little light on these 19 ideas
18You learned these 19 things when you were a kid, and they’re all wrong
19Next time you see a doctor on TV do this, you’ll know it’s Hollywood BS
20You’re still believing these 19 things, are you?
21The next time someone tells you one of these 19 lies, you can call them on it
22Getting these common misconceptions wrong can make you sound dumb
23If you believe these 19 “facts”—you’re wrong
2419 things that can make you look dumber than this headline
25Want to know what you’ve been wrong about your whole life?
2619 Things you accidentally learned incorrectly
27Have you been believing these 19 delusions?
28Science just debunked these 19 popular misconceptions
29These 19 misnomers can make you look silly
3019 Lies children tell each other
31We asked doctors what the real deal is behind these ideas
3219 Ways to be wrong about things
33These 19 facts will have you questioning everything you’ve ever learned
34Correction: You’ve been wrong about these 19 things your whole life
35Read this article to become smarter
36You’ll laugh at yourself when you realize what you believed
37The faulty logic of 19 popular ideas
38Lies you’ve believed since childhood
3919 Alternative facts from the playground (rather than Washington)
40Helping you clear up lies you probably believe
41Kill these 19 ideas right now
42Your gum turns to poop, and 18 other silly things you thought wrong
43Everything you know about everything is a false
44Did you actually think these 19 things were true?
4519 Lies from the playground
46Turns out, you were wrong about these 19 things the whole time
47Can you still be smart if you’ve believed these lies your whole life?
48Debunking 19 popular fallacies
49Should you really be afraid of Narcs? And 18 other facts
50Knowing 3 of these 19 things makes you smarter than most people
5119 “facts” that will make you feel silly
52The one blog article that shows you what not to do when someone stops breathing
53For people tired of being wrong about everything
54Don’t worry. We thought these 19 things were true too
55Little mistakes you probably believe are correct
56You’re wrong all the time, prolyl
57Your mother was wrong about these ideas (and so was everyone else)
58When you think about it, none of these 19 fallacies never really seemed right
59Don’t worry if you accidentally do this to a baby bird
6019 facts for misguided people
6119 things you thought were true but aren’t
6219 Fallacies living in your brain
63A bunch of silly things you won’t believe you thought were true
64Remember when you learned this on the playground? Turns out you’re wrong.
65You’ve been holding on to these 19 misperceptions for way too long
66These 19 facts will make you wonder what else you’ve been wrong about
6719 “facts” you won’t see on Mythbusters
68The idiot test: Do you believe these 19 “facts?”
6919 myths that need busting
7019 Alternative facts that need clarification
71It’s not that you were lied to, you were just told bad information?
72Why do people actually think these 19 things are true?
73These 19 misperceptions need to die
7419 clarifications that help you avoid looking foolish
75Misbeliefs, fallacies & bunk you’ve been told
76If you thought these 19 things were true, you might be an idiot
77The biggest misperceptions you’ve been holding onto
78Lies TV tells you
7919 unsound ideas that need to die
8019 important facts that aren’t facts at all
81Just a few clarifications about things you probably know
8219 facts debunked
83Faulty logic you’ve held since you were a toddler
8419 things you learned on the playground that aren’t true
85Don’t feel bad about getting these 19 ideas wrong. Most people do.
86If you think cops need to come clean about this, you’re going to be in big trouble
87Nearly 20 things almost everyone gets wrong
88You’re going to feel silly when you read the truth about these 19 things
89Just a few ways you’ve been wrong your whole life
9019 “facts” you learned in school that are total BS
91If your friends believe these 19 things, you need smarter friends
9219 “facts” you can use to tell which of your friends are idiots
9319 Mind-blowing mistruths you’ve been believing
94The sooner you learn these 19 things aren’t true, the smarter you’ll be
95Don’t try saving lives like they do on TV
96If you believe this, you’re failing at life
97The 19 things you thought were true but aren’t
98Mistakes about animals and your body that might get you into trouble
99Learn these 19 things aren’t true before you make a fool of yourself
100Big mistakes most people make their whole life
101Do these 19 delusions have you under their spell?
102Everything you know about these 19 things is a lie


Overall: I have mixed feelings about this. I’m not proud of any of these. It’s not that the list is bad, The lines are good. But it adds to the things I hate about the internet. It’s just so… internety.

Lessons: This was NOT a challenge. I whipped it up in 45 minutes, never consulted the template, and may as well have been watching TV and thumb wrestling a dinosaur while doing it. Zero concentration required. I pulled the “MythBusters” theme from a comment, and other than consulting the thesaurus for “misconception” these came without needing any inspiration.

This isn’t a bad list. But it’s not copywriting. And I didn’t enjoy it.

Time: 45 minutes. My fastest time to date. Yay?

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