Another fun one today that seems right up my alley. I love dogs. I love cocktails. So how about dog wines? OK, cat wines too.
Apollo Peak is an all-natural pet wine made in Colorado. No, it’s not really alcoholic, but it blends a lot of sophisticated ingredients your pets might like: vegetables, fruit, cat butt…
It seems like a cool product. The reviews were mixed, though. I guess it’s an acquired taste—much like real wine—but the pets who like it seem to really like it. Again, much like real wine…
I went back and forth between animals and gender—all things that could be sorted out based on user demographics and targeting, but I’m not going that deep today. Instead, I’m going to focus on fun.
Here are 102 lines about Apollo Peak Dog & Cat Wines:
| 1 | You don’t have to drink alone anymore |
| 2 | Having a glass of it handy is reason enough to celebrate |
| 3 | Pour yourself a drink, right meow |
| 4 | Pet wines for owners who know better than to give their pets wine |
| 5 | Ruff days call for stiff drinks |
| 6 | If you’re not going to throw the ball, you can at least pour your pup a drink |
| 7 | Listen, this is healthier than the real wine you’ve been giving your cats |
| 8 | Because finding an at-home drinking buddy is easier than being sober |
| 9 | Is your dog’s tail giving him the runaround? He deserves a stiff drink. |
| 10 | The next time your cat looks at you like he wants your wine, you can give him his own bottle |
| 11 | Now your pet is your drinking buddy |
| 12 | Even though it’s healthy & non-alcoholic, you dog will still love this |
| 13 | Your dog isn’t barking. He’s ordering another round. |
| 14 | Now you and your favorite pet can chase some tail together |
| 15 | Fact: Best friends drink together. |
| 16 | Make your dog love you even more |
| 17 | And you thought catnip made them happy… |
| 18 | Ungrateful kitty? Pour her a glass of wine. |
| 19 | For people who love dogs and wine |
| 20 | Minimum age: 21 dog years |
| 21 | The nectar of the gods for man’s best friend |
| 22 | Every cat deserves a little wine now & then |
| 23 | Give your pup a cup |
| 24 | All the benefits of wine, without the buzz |
| 25 | Being man’s best friend is reason enough to toast |
| 26 | Making pet’s lives better, one glass at a time |
| 27 | For pet owners tired of drinking alone |
| 28 | Cats whine for cat’s wine |
| 29 | Just you and your cat, gabbing away over a glass of wine |
| 30 | So what if your new drinking buddy is a little hairy and has 4 legs? |
| 31 | Slip your dog a cup of the good stuff |
| 32 | Like catnip in a bottle (so, kind of like Fireball) |
| 33 | In people years, your dog only needs to be 3 to be drink |
| 34 | Where your new drinking buddy is already your best friend |
| 35 | Dog gone it! Bring me my wine! |
| 36 | Because nobody should have to watch reality TV without a little wine |
| 37 | Just because your cat’s wine isn’t alcoholic doesn’t mean your can’t be |
| 38 | You drink the good stuff. Now your dogs can too. |
| 39 | Everything you love about wine, but without the bad stuff. And for your pet. |
| 40 | They’ll love this wine just as much as you love your wine |
| 41 | Get buzzed with your cat |
| 42 | The best way to unwind after a ruff day |
| 43 | Chasing squirrels is enough to drive any pet to drink |
| 44 | A glass for you, a glass for your furry little friend |
| 45 | Your cat will love it so much, you’ll forget about how much you drink |
| 46 | Your wine helps you relax. Now your dog’s will too. |
| 47 | The perfect way to deflect your drinking problem to your cat |
| 48 | Drinking doesn’t have to feel lonely for either of you |
| 49 | Your cat will love its wine as much as you love your wine |
| 50 | Helping pet owners bond with their new drinking buddies |
| 51 | Dogs get stressed too. Give ’em a drink. |
| 52 | Where you drink with your pets, and they get healthier |
| 53 | Guaranteed not to give your dog a hangover. We make no claims about you though. |
| 54 | If your owner didn’t give you cat wine, you’d be grumpy too |
| 55 | Pour me another, master. It’s that damn laser pointer again. |
| 56 | Discover how nice not drinking alone can be |
| 57 | Meow. Beer me. |
| 58 | Get your kitty a cocktail, right meow |
| 59 | Lose the stigma of drinking alone |
| 60 | Even if your cat is a jerk, he still deserves a drink every now and then |
| 61 | It’s not alcoholic, although, your pet probably deserves a drink |
| 62 | A special blend of everything you love in your wine, without the alcohol, plus extra stuff for your cat |
| 63 | Honestly, you’re probably drinking with your pets anyway. This is way healthier for them. |
| 64 | A box of wine for you, and a bottle for you kitty |
| 65 | What dog wine pairs well with other dog’s butt? |
| 66 | Where you and your pet both get happy |
| 67 | Being your best friend deserves a reward |
| 68 | Can’t decide if you love your wine or your cat more? Now you don’t have to. |
| 69 | Pair reds with kibble & white with canned |
| 70 | Just because your wine is cheap, doesn’t mean your cat’s needs to be |
| 71 | Your cat isn’t grumpy. He’s hungover. |
| 72 | After a day of barking at everything, your dog deserves a drink |
| 73 | Probably a better vintage than whatever cheap wine you’re drinking |
| 74 | Now maybe your pet will want to cuddle you back |
| 75 | Makes your cat get silly for a bit, then pass out. Kind of like your wine does to you. |
| 76 | Everything your cat needs. Except the alcohol. (We save that for you) |
| 77 | I want my cat wine, right meow! |
| 78 | Pour a cock(erspaniel)tail |
| 79 | Just because you drink wine from a box doesn’t mean your cat has to |
| 80 | It’s an acquired taste. But then again, so is real wine. |
| 81 | Good wines and a best friend to drink it with |
| 82 | No, your dog doesn’t really need this. But neither do you. |
| 83 | A significant upgrade from drinking out of the toilet |
| 84 | Ruff day? Pour your pup a cocktail |
| 85 | The near beer for your favorite pup |
| 86 | It’s got a brilliant bouquet of berries, lavender & other cat’s butt |
| 87 | For the sophisticated mutt in your life |
| 88 | Get a new drinking buddy without leaving your home |
| 89 | Sassy cats deserve wine |
| 90 | It’s healthy & non-alcoholic, but your dog will love it anyway |
| 91 | You’ve got your happy juice. Now your cat has his. |
| 92 | Now you can both enjoy watching “The Bachelor” a little more |
| 93 | Better than drinking out of the toilet |
| 94 | Now your pet can love wine as much as you |
| 95 | You still drink a lot. Now you just don’t do it alone. |
| 96 | Now you and your cat can both have the good stuff |
| 97 | For days when the mailman rings the doorbell. |
| 98 | Dog wine. Because no pet should live on water alone |
| 99 | Luckily it doesn’t make your dog do all the things your wine makes you do |
| 100 | Good dogs deserve a little nip |
| 101 | For pet owners tired of drinking alone, but can’t stand the idea of giving up the booze |
| 102 | The healthy non-alcoholic drink for pets |
Overall: Decent but not great. I had fun writing this, but similar to other recent posts, I struggled finding the balance between humor and actual messaging. It’s not as great as I wanted it to be. If it was just dogs & beer, maybe I would have had better luck.
Lessons: Too many options made this harder. There are different blends, champagnes, reds, whites, bottles for dogs, bottles for cats. I lost focus. After completing the lines, I found a similar product with a more off-kilter style. I might give this another go with them.
- I wanted to have fun with this, but I held back because it’s not really wine
- I expected the reviews to offer a lot more, but they were limited
- Don’t give your pets real alcohol, folks. You know this.
Time: 1 straight session of 1:30. Longer than usual.
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