Image result for illumibowl

You know I can’t stay out of the Shark Tank for long. Especially when it’s such an easy setup for potty humor.

You’ve probably seen Illumibowl on TV or all over your local Bed, Bath & Beyond. It’s a pretty genius product. It lights your toilet so you don’t have to blind yourself by turning on the bathroom light at night. #FirstWorldProblems

This seemed like an easy win for me, but I think I left a few good ones on the table. You decide.

Here are 108 lines about IllumiBowl:

1 It’s a disco party potty!
2 Aim at the light and you’ll have less to clean in the morning
3 When you don’t wake up your eyes, it’s easier to fall back asleep
4 The best bathroom invention since the toilet
5 Go to the light
6 You’re not still going to the bathroom in the dark, are you?
7 Are bright bathroom lights your pet peeve?
8 The gentle bathroom light several parts of your body will thank you for
9 Light your path to the bowl
10 Pee afraid of the dark
11 Avoid the Gizmo “bright light!” reaction
12 Ladies, are you tired of falling into the bowl?
13 Ever pee in the wrong place?
14 The nighttime remedy for men with bad aim
15 So tonight that I might pee
16 Go pee without flashing bright lights in your eyes
17 Does your bathroom  light destroy your eyes at night?
18 Just enough light to aim by
19 Everything you need to see where you pee
20 Because bright lights and tired eyes are a bad combination
21 The best part of peeing isn’t peeing
22 Light up your bowl and throw a potty party
23 Easy on the eyes, gentle on sleepy brains
24 The soft light that’s not hard on your tired eyes
25 Now you might wake up just to see it
26 Throw a party in your potty
27 See all that you can pee
28 Even if it smells like asparagus, your pee is going to look pretty
29 The silly but useful bathroom light
30 The better way to pee in the dark
31 The gentle spot light for your toilet
32 It’s fun when you’re young. It’s helpful when you’re old.
33 Answer mother nature’s call without burning your retinas
34 Pee into 5 separate colors
35 The beacon for your bathroom
36 The older you get, the more you want one
37 Like having night vision goggles for your midnight trips to the bathroom
38 The guiding light for your long trip to the bathroom
39 The simple, fun & effective way to light up your bathroom at night
40 Blinded by the light? Not anymore.
41 Bright lights hurt your eyes. Our lights help you pee.
42 For perfect bowl movements
43 Pee like a sniper with a night vision scope
44 You don’t need to shield your eyes from bright bathroom lights anymore
45 Light night urination
46 The most functional gag gift you’ll ever purchase
47 Brighten your bowl
48 Now you can see if it’s safe to sit (before it’s too late)
49 When you can see where you pee, less clean-up there will be
50 It’s fun to have neon colored pee
51 Like landing lights for you stream
52 Buy it as a gag, keep it as something practical
53 Just a little bit of color to light your way to the bathroom
54 The gentle light for bathroom guidance
55 Home in on the perfect toilet location
56 Ever stub your toe on the way to the bathroom at night? Not anymore
57 The lights will guide you home
58 Who knew you could make bathrooms even better?
59 Illuminated bowls mean less pee on the floor
60 Guide your stream to splashdown, in perfect color unison
61 When you need to pee, you need to see.
62 Pee without alarming your senses
63 You just lost your excuse for all the pee on seat
64 The gentle bathroom that gets better with (your) age
65 Illuminate your throne
66 “You’re in” good hands with illumibowl
67 Tired of stumbling your way through the dark?
68 Does turning on your bathroom light feel like staring into the sun?
69 A truly bright idea
70 No more gizmo moments. “Bright light!”
71 It’s like urinating into the sunset
72 No more squinting through your eyelids during nighttime bathroom trips
73 Now you can go see a man about a horse in perfect light
74 Don’t wake up the family on your way to the bathroom
75 The little light that makes potty training (and adulting) fun
76 The toilet night light that saves your eyes (and the bathroom floor)
77 A little backlight motion for your movement
78 Our aim is to improve your aim at night
79 Precisely the thing to help your aiming precision
80 For the middle of the night when you don’t want to turn on a light
81 Light your way to and from the potty
82 Pee into a nighttime rainbow
83 No more blinding bathroom lights
84 When you prostate gets big, you need to light your bowl
85 When nature calls, we light the way
86 The most fun way to remember that yellow and blue make green
87 when the light is red, your pee looks like a candy cane
88 The bowl turns color. Not your pee.
89 Mornings are better when you find out you peed where you’re supposed to
90 The gentle path light to guide you to your toilet
91 The bathroom nightlight you never have to switch on
92 Choose your favorite color. Then pee on it.
93 The nighttime rainbow for your toilet
94 Follow the gentle light, then go back to bed
95 Just enough light to see where you’re aiming
96 Relieve yourself, relieve your eyes
97 Light up your bowl without blinding your eyes
98 It’s like peeing into a little round bowl of happiness
99 The #1 way to go #2 at night
100 The functional novelty item you’ll never get tired of
101 Love your toilet a whole lot more
102 Now you can get up at night without blinding your eyes
103 The guiding light that helps give you cleaner floors
104 The backlight nightlight for your butt
105 The little light that makes a big difference
106 To see or not to pee?
107 From the shark tank to your own bowl
108 A brighter bowl means a cleaner floor

 

Overall: Just OK. This is a rare occurrence of me feeling like I had done better than I actually had. Normally it’s other way around. I think they’re all terrible until I review it. Opposite today.

Lessons: I went too male. I didn’t notice that there wasn’t a single line for the ladies until #82. I’m a bad writer for the women folk. 🙁

  • Too many “pee” references. I could have made this more appealing to the masses.
  • The reviews were surprisingly unhelpful here. Mostly complaints about the battery life.
  • I teetered on the edge of being straight vs. being dirty. I should have made a choice and gone all in with it
  • I really wanted to nail this one. Kinda bummed I didn’t.

Time: Dang it. I forgot to track. Mostly done in 1 session, with a few more scattered throughout the day.

 

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