You know I can’t stay out of the Shark Tank for long. Especially when it’s such an easy setup for potty humor.
You’ve probably seen Illumibowl on TV or all over your local Bed, Bath & Beyond. It’s a pretty genius product. It lights your toilet so you don’t have to blind yourself by turning on the bathroom light at night. #FirstWorldProblems
This seemed like an easy win for me, but I think I left a few good ones on the table. You decide.
Here are 108 lines about IllumiBowl:
| 1 | It’s a disco party potty! |
| 2 | Aim at the light and you’ll have less to clean in the morning |
| 3 | When you don’t wake up your eyes, it’s easier to fall back asleep |
| 4 | The best bathroom invention since the toilet |
| 5 | Go to the light |
| 6 | You’re not still going to the bathroom in the dark, are you? |
| 7 | Are bright bathroom lights your pet peeve? |
| 8 | The gentle bathroom light several parts of your body will thank you for |
| 9 | Light your path to the bowl |
| 10 | Pee afraid of the dark |
| 11 | Avoid the Gizmo “bright light!” reaction |
| 12 | Ladies, are you tired of falling into the bowl? |
| 13 | Ever pee in the wrong place? |
| 14 | The nighttime remedy for men with bad aim |
| 15 | So tonight that I might pee |
| 16 | Go pee without flashing bright lights in your eyes |
| 17 | Does your bathroom light destroy your eyes at night? |
| 18 | Just enough light to aim by |
| 19 | Everything you need to see where you pee |
| 20 | Because bright lights and tired eyes are a bad combination |
| 21 | The best part of peeing isn’t peeing |
| 22 | Light up your bowl and throw a potty party |
| 23 | Easy on the eyes, gentle on sleepy brains |
| 24 | The soft light that’s not hard on your tired eyes |
| 25 | Now you might wake up just to see it |
| 26 | Throw a party in your potty |
| 27 | See all that you can pee |
| 28 | Even if it smells like asparagus, your pee is going to look pretty |
| 29 | The silly but useful bathroom light |
| 30 | The better way to pee in the dark |
| 31 | The gentle spot light for your toilet |
| 32 | It’s fun when you’re young. It’s helpful when you’re old. |
| 33 | Answer mother nature’s call without burning your retinas |
| 34 | Pee into 5 separate colors |
| 35 | The beacon for your bathroom |
| 36 | The older you get, the more you want one |
| 37 | Like having night vision goggles for your midnight trips to the bathroom |
| 38 | The guiding light for your long trip to the bathroom |
| 39 | The simple, fun & effective way to light up your bathroom at night |
| 40 | Blinded by the light? Not anymore. |
| 41 | Bright lights hurt your eyes. Our lights help you pee. |
| 42 | For perfect bowl movements |
| 43 | Pee like a sniper with a night vision scope |
| 44 | You don’t need to shield your eyes from bright bathroom lights anymore |
| 45 | Light night urination |
| 46 | The most functional gag gift you’ll ever purchase |
| 47 | Brighten your bowl |
| 48 | Now you can see if it’s safe to sit (before it’s too late) |
| 49 | When you can see where you pee, less clean-up there will be |
| 50 | It’s fun to have neon colored pee |
| 51 | Like landing lights for you stream |
| 52 | Buy it as a gag, keep it as something practical |
| 53 | Just a little bit of color to light your way to the bathroom |
| 54 | The gentle light for bathroom guidance |
| 55 | Home in on the perfect toilet location |
| 56 | Ever stub your toe on the way to the bathroom at night? Not anymore |
| 57 | The lights will guide you home |
| 58 | Who knew you could make bathrooms even better? |
| 59 | Illuminated bowls mean less pee on the floor |
| 60 | Guide your stream to splashdown, in perfect color unison |
| 61 | When you need to pee, you need to see. |
| 62 | Pee without alarming your senses |
| 63 | You just lost your excuse for all the pee on seat |
| 64 | The gentle bathroom that gets better with (your) age |
| 65 | Illuminate your throne |
| 66 | “You’re in” good hands with illumibowl |
| 67 | Tired of stumbling your way through the dark? |
| 68 | Does turning on your bathroom light feel like staring into the sun? |
| 69 | A truly bright idea |
| 70 | No more gizmo moments. “Bright light!” |
| 71 | It’s like urinating into the sunset |
| 72 | No more squinting through your eyelids during nighttime bathroom trips |
| 73 | Now you can go see a man about a horse in perfect light |
| 74 | Don’t wake up the family on your way to the bathroom |
| 75 | The little light that makes potty training (and adulting) fun |
| 76 | The toilet night light that saves your eyes (and the bathroom floor) |
| 77 | A little backlight motion for your movement |
| 78 | Our aim is to improve your aim at night |
| 79 | Precisely the thing to help your aiming precision |
| 80 | For the middle of the night when you don’t want to turn on a light |
| 81 | Light your way to and from the potty |
| 82 | Pee into a nighttime rainbow |
| 83 | No more blinding bathroom lights |
| 84 | When you prostate gets big, you need to light your bowl |
| 85 | When nature calls, we light the way |
| 86 | The most fun way to remember that yellow and blue make green |
| 87 | when the light is red, your pee looks like a candy cane |
| 88 | The bowl turns color. Not your pee. |
| 89 | Mornings are better when you find out you peed where you’re supposed to |
| 90 | The gentle path light to guide you to your toilet |
| 91 | The bathroom nightlight you never have to switch on |
| 92 | Choose your favorite color. Then pee on it. |
| 93 | The nighttime rainbow for your toilet |
| 94 | Follow the gentle light, then go back to bed |
| 95 | Just enough light to see where you’re aiming |
| 96 | Relieve yourself, relieve your eyes |
| 97 | Light up your bowl without blinding your eyes |
| 98 | It’s like peeing into a little round bowl of happiness |
| 99 | The #1 way to go #2 at night |
| 100 | The functional novelty item you’ll never get tired of |
| 101 | Love your toilet a whole lot more |
| 102 | Now you can get up at night without blinding your eyes |
| 103 | The guiding light that helps give you cleaner floors |
| 104 | The backlight nightlight for your butt |
| 105 | The little light that makes a big difference |
| 106 | To see or not to pee? |
| 107 | From the shark tank to your own bowl |
| 108 | A brighter bowl means a cleaner floor |
Overall: Just OK. This is a rare occurrence of me feeling like I had done better than I actually had. Normally it’s other way around. I think they’re all terrible until I review it. Opposite today.
Lessons: I went too male. I didn’t notice that there wasn’t a single line for the ladies until #82. I’m a bad writer for the women folk. 🙁
- Too many “pee” references. I could have made this more appealing to the masses.
- The reviews were surprisingly unhelpful here. Mostly complaints about the battery life.
- I teetered on the edge of being straight vs. being dirty. I should have made a choice and gone all in with it
- I really wanted to nail this one. Kinda bummed I didn’t.
Time: Dang it. I forgot to track. Mostly done in 1 session, with a few more scattered throughout the day.
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