Image result for illumibowl

You know I can’t stay out of the Shark Tank for long. Especially when it’s such an easy setup for potty humor.

You’ve probably seen Illumibowl on TV or all over your local Bed, Bath & Beyond. It’s a pretty genius product. It lights your toilet so you don’t have to blind yourself by turning on the bathroom light at night. #FirstWorldProblems

This seemed like an easy win for me, but I think I left a few good ones on the table. You decide.

Here are 108 lines about IllumiBowl:

1It’s a disco party potty!
2Aim at the light and you’ll have less to clean in the morning
3When you don’t wake up your eyes, it’s easier to fall back asleep
4The best bathroom invention since the toilet
5Go to the light
6You’re not still going to the bathroom in the dark, are you?
7Are bright bathroom lights your pet peeve?
8The gentle bathroom light several parts of your body will thank you for
9Light your path to the bowl
10Pee afraid of the dark
11Avoid the Gizmo “bright light!” reaction
12Ladies, are you tired of falling into the bowl?
13Ever pee in the wrong place?
14The nighttime remedy for men with bad aim
15So tonight that I might pee
16Go pee without flashing bright lights in your eyes
17Does your bathroom  light destroy your eyes at night?
18Just enough light to aim by
19Everything you need to see where you pee
20Because bright lights and tired eyes are a bad combination
21The best part of peeing isn’t peeing
22Light up your bowl and throw a potty party
23Easy on the eyes, gentle on sleepy brains
24The soft light that’s not hard on your tired eyes
25Now you might wake up just to see it
26Throw a party in your potty
27See all that you can pee
28Even if it smells like asparagus, your pee is going to look pretty
29The silly but useful bathroom light
30The better way to pee in the dark
31The gentle spot light for your toilet
32It’s fun when you’re young. It’s helpful when you’re old.
33Answer mother nature’s call without burning your retinas
34Pee into 5 separate colors
35The beacon for your bathroom
36The older you get, the more you want one
37Like having night vision goggles for your midnight trips to the bathroom
38The guiding light for your long trip to the bathroom
39The simple, fun & effective way to light up your bathroom at night
40Blinded by the light? Not anymore.
41Bright lights hurt your eyes. Our lights help you pee.
42For perfect bowl movements
43Pee like a sniper with a night vision scope
44You don’t need to shield your eyes from bright bathroom lights anymore
45Light night urination
46The most functional gag gift you’ll ever purchase
47Brighten your bowl
48Now you can see if it’s safe to sit (before it’s too late)
49When you can see where you pee, less clean-up there will be
50It’s fun to have neon colored pee
51Like landing lights for you stream
52Buy it as a gag, keep it as something practical
53Just a little bit of color to light your way to the bathroom
54The gentle light for bathroom guidance
55Home in on the perfect toilet location
56Ever stub your toe on the way to the bathroom at night? Not anymore
57The lights will guide you home
58Who knew you could make bathrooms even better?
59Illuminated bowls mean less pee on the floor
60Guide your stream to splashdown, in perfect color unison
61When you need to pee, you need to see.
62Pee without alarming your senses
63You just lost your excuse for all the pee on seat
64The gentle bathroom that gets better with (your) age
65Illuminate your throne
66“You’re in” good hands with illumibowl
67Tired of stumbling your way through the dark?
68Does turning on your bathroom light feel like staring into the sun?
69A truly bright idea
70No more gizmo moments. “Bright light!”
71It’s like urinating into the sunset
72No more squinting through your eyelids during nighttime bathroom trips
73Now you can go see a man about a horse in perfect light
74Don’t wake up the family on your way to the bathroom
75The little light that makes potty training (and adulting) fun
76The toilet night light that saves your eyes (and the bathroom floor)
77A little backlight motion for your movement
78Our aim is to improve your aim at night
79Precisely the thing to help your aiming precision
80For the middle of the night when you don’t want to turn on a light
81Light your way to and from the potty
82Pee into a nighttime rainbow
83No more blinding bathroom lights
84When you prostate gets big, you need to light your bowl
85When nature calls, we light the way
86The most fun way to remember that yellow and blue make green
87when the light is red, your pee looks like a candy cane
88The bowl turns color. Not your pee.
89Mornings are better when you find out you peed where you’re supposed to
90The gentle path light to guide you to your toilet
91The bathroom nightlight you never have to switch on
92Choose your favorite color. Then pee on it.
93The nighttime rainbow for your toilet
94Follow the gentle light, then go back to bed
95Just enough light to see where you’re aiming
96Relieve yourself, relieve your eyes
97Light up your bowl without blinding your eyes
98It’s like peeing into a little round bowl of happiness
99The #1 way to go #2 at night
100The functional novelty item you’ll never get tired of
101Love your toilet a whole lot more
102Now you can get up at night without blinding your eyes
103The guiding light that helps give you cleaner floors
104The backlight nightlight for your butt
105The little light that makes a big difference
106To see or not to pee?
107From the shark tank to your own bowl
108A brighter bowl means a cleaner floor


Overall: Just OK. This is a rare occurrence of me feeling like I had done better than I actually had. Normally it’s other way around. I think they’re all terrible until I review it. Opposite today.

Lessons: I went too male. I didn’t notice that there wasn’t a single line for the ladies until #82. I’m a bad writer for the women folk. 🙁

  • Too many “pee” references. I could have made this more appealing to the masses.
  • The reviews were surprisingly unhelpful here. Mostly complaints about the battery life.
  • I teetered on the edge of being straight vs. being dirty. I should have made a choice and gone all in with it
  • I really wanted to nail this one. Kinda bummed I didn’t.

Time: Dang it. I forgot to track. Mostly done in 1 session, with a few more scattered throughout the day.


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