I’m not much of a gamer, but this one caught my eye. Mostly because it’s completely ridiculous. Unstable Unicorns is a strategic card game that blew through their Kickstarter goal like (insert too-soon joke about Hurricane Harvey). And I can see why.
Their illustrations are amazing and their writing is on point. They don’t need these lines, but it was the first game I’ve seen that made me interested to try.
So here are 101 lines about Unstable Unicorns:
| 1 | Nothing say friendship like stabbing someone with a unicorn |
| 2 | Use a unicorn to destroy your friends. |
| 3 | As you stand on the mountain of dead, you will know your true friend. And it will be a unicorn. |
| 4 | Pick your unicorn. Build your village. Destroy your friends. |
| 5 | The first these unicorns saw a My Little Pony, they ate it |
| 6 | The board game where friends fight for fun (with unicorns!) |
| 7 | Warning: Killer unicorns inside |
| 8 | Fight, flight, and destruction |
| 9 | A box of unicorn fights, friendly destruction, and all kinds of ridiculous scenarios |
| 10 | For delicate flowers who with an edge |
| 11 | So cute, you won’t even be mad when they stab you in the back |
| 12 | The deadly unicorn game that’s NSFW |
| 13 | Ever want to see a baby unicorn get punched |
| 14 | Don’t let their adorableness fool you |
| 15 | Prepare yourself for the Unicorn Apocalypse |
| 16 | Twisting everything you know about unicorns into a big, evil, murdery pile of stabbiness |
| 17 | Where unicorns fight to the death |
| 18 | Breaking the boundaries of good brony taste |
| 19 | Watch your party turn from “awww” to “aaaah!” |
| 20 | They’re magically de-vicious |
| 21 | Even if you’re not a brony, this is still the best game you’ll ever play |
| 22 | The only scenario where having too many unicorns can kill you |
| 23 | Adorably deadly |
| 24 | Smashing the boundaries of bronies |
| 25 | One unicorn is cute. An army is terrifying |
| 26 | Hypothetically, these unicorns may be trying to kill you |
| 27 | When unicorns fight, it’s to the death |
| 28 | Beware of evil, evil unicorns |
| 29 | The fantasy land where Unicorns kill |
| 30 | Helping bronies work out their aggression |
| 31 | Ever been plotted against by unicorns before? |
| 32 | Cute, loveable, and beyond deadly |
| 33 | Individually, they’re cute. In packs, your competitor’s unicorns will cut you deep |
| 34 | Watch when happens when a unicorn fights a narwhal |
| 35 | That’s not a horn on their head. It’s a dagger of destruction |
| 36 | Nothing pairs better with beer than unicorn blood |
| 37 | The good time game about deadly unicorns |
| 38 | The party game for bronies with an edge |
| 39 | It’s just you, me, and your unicorn |
| 40 | Your friends may hate you, but your unicorns will love you |
| 41 | Imagine a world where Unicorns were deadly and llamas attacked |
| 42 | The most adorable way to fight ever |
| 43 | As deadly as they are adorable |
| 44 | The only game that lets your stab a unicorn in self defense |
| 45 | The unicorn tabletop game that will haunt your dreams |
| 46 | Unicorns do not mess around |
| 47 | Think unicorns are cute? Meet Stabby. |
| 48 | Who knew killing make-believe unicorn armies could be this fun |
| 49 | Kill a unicorn without the guilt |
| 50 | Where small, intimate parties become a place of inappropriate laughter |
| 51 | It’s time to decide. Are you a man? Or are you a brony? |
| 52 | Testing the limits of good taste |
| 53 | It’s OK to laugh when you kill someone’s unicorn. That’s the point. |
| 54 | Everything you know about unicorns is a lie |
| 55 | Sharpen your horns and prepare for battle |
| 56 | They fart rainbows and rain terror |
| 57 | Cute is an evolutionary tactic to lure you closer to certain death |
| 58 | The 2nd most fun thing you can do with a unicorn |
| 59 | Earn your seat on the Throne of Unicorns |
| 60 | When it comes to life or death, always choose unicorn |
| 61 | Know what you call an army of unicorns? Your worst nightmare |
| 62 | Nothing makes you as hated as owning the most unicorns |
| 63 | A few beers making the unicorn murder seem funny |
| 64 | Plot your unicorn revenge |
| 65 | You when you open the box of unicorns, your party becomes deadly |
| 66 | The evil world filled with adorable creatures |
| 67 | You’re probably going to want a few drinks when you play this… |
| 68 | This is what happens when My Little Pony meets the WWE |
| 69 | For those who dream of watching unicorns fight |
| 70 | Here’s everything you need to know to survive a unicorn attack |
| 71 | The cutest way to make your friends hate each other (but just for an hour) |
| 72 | Raise a cuddly baby unicorn. And train it to murder your friends. |
| 73 | As cuddly as your favorite teddy bear. As vicious as a honey badger. |
| 74 | When it comes to unicorn battles, it’s all fight or flight |
| 75 | The cutest killers on the planet |
| 76 | Destroying your friend’s unicorn army is even more fun than it sounds |
| 77 | What is Unicorns were really mean AF? |
| 78 | Plot against your friends. With unicorns. |
| 79 | Prettier than ponies. Deadlier than sharks. |
| 80 | This is one pack of Unicorns you don’t want to turn your back on |
| 81 | The board game for twisted individuals |
| 82 | The “you just killed my baby unicorn and now I’m going to murder your entire village” game of fun |
| 83 | Become bros with your bronies |
| 84 | The only game that lets you use unicorns for destruction |
| 85 | Careful. These guys are horny. |
| 86 | Forget everything you know about unicorns |
| 87 | Draw a card, raise your unicorn, then use it to destroy your friends |
| 88 | Did you ever think you’d test the boundaries of your friendship with unicorns? |
| 89 | The unicorn game of kill or be killed |
| 90 | It’s Candy Land meets The Candyman |
| 91 | Test your friendship with unicorn fights |
| 92 | If you’re looking for a tabletop game that’s cute, cuddly & deadly, you’ve found it. |
| 93 | The board game that makes you the evil emperor of a murderous unicorn army |
| 94 | Where Dungeons & Dragons meets My Little Pony |
| 95 | You need to ask yourself. Do you feel uni? |
| 96 | For unicorns lovers who also love violence |
| 97 | When the time comes, will you choose love over llamacorn? |
| 98 | Careful. Those rainbow farts are deadly |
| 99 | When the Unicorns attack, will you be ready? |
| 100 | The most fun you’ll have killing your friends |
| 101 | You n’ I can? No U-N-I corn |
Overall: OK, I. It’s tough for me to tell since this is so far out of my wheelhouse. But a few lines made me laugh and I think they’d definitely catch some people’s eye.
Lessons: This is an area where having a niche would be a tremendous value. It would take a deep dive for me really get to know this audience.
- If I knew a few key gamer phrases, I think I could have gone a lot further with this
- It would have eliminated repetition too
- Made it 73 lines before hitting the formulas
- I had fun getting silly with this, but I’m not the right guy for the project (1UpBranding is!)
Time: 2 sessions, 50 minutes
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