Hi, new followers! š Today weāre talking about The Fart Candle. Bye, new followers! š Yup, Iām going to kick off the back half by talking about your back door. Because I needed something fun. And this thing is real, yāall. Surprisingly (?), there are a few man candles out there, but Iāll focus on the original one for you. In its own way, this post is a redo of yesterdayās project, where I couldnāt get it just right. Iām still lacking that feminine mindset to pull out a really great line for certain products. But when it comes to dude stuff, I think Iāve got it dialed in. Here are 104 lines about The Fart Candle:
1 | Smells like someone just stepped on a duck |
2 | New car smell? Not for long. |
3 | Give them a smell they’ll never forget |
4 | For people who want to experience a fart, without having to release one |
5 | The fastest way to get rid of company |
6 | Smells like Dad |
7 | So real it’ll have you checking your pants |
8 | Tootally awesome |
9 | Spend your day accompanied by the stench of rancid butt |
10 | Now you don’t have to blame it on the dog anymore. |
11 | Light a candle you can see, and smell your own SBD |
12 | Stinkify your whole house |
13 | So real you can taste it |
14 | It’s bad. But you’ve done worse. |
15 | The tasteless gift that keeps on giving |
16 | Tootally awesome gifts for gassers |
17 | Like a real fart, but just the smell |
18 | Want to play the “smell this” game? |
19 | Like smelling a cat lady’s butt |
20 | Pumpkin spice is overrated. Time for a little fart. |
21 | Because real farts are gross |
22 | For the man who has everything. Except rancid smells. |
23 | The candle that makes you miss your brother |
24 | Enjoy your very own brown cloud |
25 | Now no one will know it was you |
26 | Make every room in your home smell like a toot |
27 | The “Dude, what did you eat?” scented candle |
28 | Make your house smell like a man |
29 | Clear a room in the time it takes to light a match |
30 | Cover up your own rancid gas with the smell of someone else’s |
31 | You might think this covers up the smell of farts, but you’d be wrong |
32 | Sure. It was the candle⦠|
33 | Proof that boys are dumber than girls |
34 | Crop dusting man caves, one candle at a time |
35 | The fart candle that gets better with age |
36 | For the manliest man cave in the clan |
37 | For people who want to smell farts, 24/7 |
38 | Fantastic flatulence for forever friends |
39 | Crack a beer, light our candle, crank the TV. Instant man cave. |
40 | For people who can’t have nice things |
41 | Nobody ever forgets the friend who gave them a fart candle |
42 | Get a blast of hot wind for your own personal enjoyment |
43 | The discreet way of letting your company know it’s time to go |
44 | Setting the bar for rotten fart smells |
45 | Like standing downwind from a paper factory |
46 | Crop dust your whole house, without leaving the room |
47 | The candle that defines true male friendship |
48 | The perfect gag gift for dudes |
49 | Girlfriend trying to make your place smell lavender? Fight back. |
50 | Straight from the butts of exotic designers |
51 | The best part of a fart without the noise |
52 | The perfect accompaniment to your poop emoji pillow |
53 | Farted in the U.S.A. |
54 | Are lingering cooking smells ruining your home? |
55 | Great for the Father In Law you don’t really like |
56 | Helping men show their love, without saying a single word |
57 | The only fart that’s safe to light |
58 | Make your home smell like a paper factory |
59 | Breath it in |
60 | Most people like nice smells. But you’re not most people. |
61 | The candle that makes you think you stepped in something |
62 | Smells like the color brown |
63 | The anti poo-pouri |
64 | For dudes being dudes |
65 | You’ll be laughing all the way to the bathroom |
66 | Enjoy the ripped ass smell that lingers all day |
67 | Don’t try to figure out why you want this. You just do. And that’s OK. |
68 | For people with no taste (and hopefully, no smell) |
69 | As bad as it is, it’s probably still better than what you’re used to. |
70 | You’ve completed the look for your man cave. Now complete the smell. |
71 | Made from real U.S. man farts |
72 | It smells awful. You’re gonna love it |
73 | Your very own ticket to brown town |
74 | Smells just as bad you think it will. Only a little worse. |
75 | Farts stink. Here’s a whole jar of them. |
76 | You know you want to smell it |
77 | Because boys are gross |
78 | Give into to your senses |
79 | With love, from the bottom of your fheart |
80 | Smells like your old dorm room |
81 | Does your house smell terrible? Now you can make it even worse? |
82 | All the rotten egg stench you’d expect, with the perfect amount of hang time |
83 | Now you can make it smell like poop, every day of the year |
84 | Turn your white elephant exchange into a brown one |
85 | Whoever lasts in the room longest, wins |
86 | Just like grandma used to make |
87 | Helping ungassy people enjoy one of nature’s foulest aromas |
88 | Very stinky. You’re welcome. |
89 | They never go bad. They only get better. |
90 | The #1 way to make your house smell like #2 |
91 | See if you can identify what we ate when we bottled this smell |
92 | Where farts can be enjoyed for hours |
93 | Emit your odoriferous emanations in peace |
94 | You’ll feel like you’re floating on cloud of farts |
95 | Still not the worst piece of ass you’ve ever brought home |
96 | We don’t want to toot our own, but our poppers pack a whopper |
97 | Make your man cave manlier |
98 | The candle for warm booty smells |
99 | Designed with only the most sophisticated poots in mind |
100 | Make your house smell like your old roommate |
101 | Rancid stinks, just for dudes |
102 | We normally don’t recommend lighting a flame near big butt smells, but in this case, we do |
103 | Clear a room real fast |
104 | Go ahead. Stink it up. |
Overall: These stink. (ā #105!) No, I kid! I had fun with these and I think theyād do really well in the appropriate setting. Like a Spencerās Gift Store at the mall. Not the good mall. The old one that nobody goes to anymore. The one with a Sears. Lessons: Sometimes you just need to have fun. I was looking to get back on track and reignite my passion for this project. This did the trick
- I suppose thereās a female market for this scent, but I didnāt address it. Not today. This one was for the boys.
- Yup, I bought one. Iāve got a few friends who deserve this.
- Laughed the whole way through
- I can only image the retargeting Iām going to get after googling āterms for flatulenceā
- 82 lines without the template. Bam!
Time: 1 straight session, just over an hour.
Bro, read this article and immediately bought this thing! Just moved out from a house with 9 brothers, makin my new house smell like home. My roommates love it too, its a manly smell for manly men! Keep broin on!