I used to work for 5-hour Energy. Red Bull too. Very similar products but entirely different brands. I’ve got lots of great stories about both.
It’s been a few years since I played in this sandbox, so today I decided to revisit an old friend. Warning: It’s been a long day, and in a strange twist of fate, I could really use one of these right now.
Here are 101 lines about 5-hour Energy:
| 1 | Where will you be when tired hits? |
| 2 | Making your mornings better, 2 ounces at a time |
| 3 | Your everyday pick-me-up |
| 4 | Stops your internal clock from crashing |
| 5 | The bad taste is how it wakes up your tongue |
| 6 | Kick jetlag into a whole different continent |
| 7 | Your secret weapon for getting into the zone |
| 8 | Your daily motivation now comes in a 2-ounce bottle |
| 9 | For those who outgrow Red Bull |
| 10 | Pull your energy out the red, without any bull |
| 11 | Your demanding job suddenly seems less-demanding |
| 12 | Not a morning person? You are now. |
| 13 | Sometimes coffee just isn’t enough |
| 14 | Energized bodies perform better |
| 15 | Sometimes you don’t have enough time to be tired |
| 16 | Put a little extra pep in your step |
| 17 | All the power of an energy drink without the stigma |
| 18 | Recharge your battery |
| 19 | The energy shot for adults |
| 20 | The clean burning fuel for your body |
| 21 | Bye bye post-lunch food coma |
| 22 | Make long meetings feel shorter |
| 23 | Rev your own engine |
| 24 | And you thought coffee made your day better |
| 25 | Make your afternoons more productive |
| 26 | Now you can keep up with your kids |
| 27 | Fun-sized bottles. Big-sized energy. |
| 28 | Keep your eyes on the road, longer |
| 29 | Helping tired people get more done |
| 30 | It doesn’t make you cool. It just makes you better. |
| 31 | Make tired for other people |
| 32 | Less fluid means fewer pit stops on road trips |
| 33 | Tired? Not you. |
| 34 | Get your entire workday done 3 hours early |
| 35 | Get more out of your weekends |
| 36 | All the energy you need, with fewer crashes than your computer |
| 37 | Get your day started without the coffee breath |
| 38 | Life is better when you’re awake |
| 39 | Red Bull for old people |
| 40 | Everything you need to make your brain faster |
| 41 | Ain’t nobody got time for tired |
| 42 | The little bottle that packs a big punch |
| 43 | The afternoon pick me up you can keep in your pocket |
| 44 | The energy shot you don’t need to be cool to buy |
| 45 | For afternoons with more energy |
| 46 | Relax. There’s enough energy for everyone |
| 47 | Just the kick you’re looking for |
| 48 | The healthy way to keep moving |
| 49 | The “whoohooo!” maker |
| 50 | Make yourself a morning person. Or an afternoon & evening person. |
| 51 | Portable power for your whole body |
| 52 | Give yourself the energy of a toddler |
| 53 | The caffeine you can drink at any temperature |
| 54 | Coffee 2.0 |
| 55 | Put your body on high alert |
| 56 | 8-hours of sleep now comes in a bottle |
| 57 | Next time you hit the wall, you’ll plow right through it |
| 58 | Helps make your to-do list done |
| 59 | You’ll be able to hear yourself blink |
| 60 | For anyone who wants more time at peak performance |
| 61 | Wires you exactly the right way |
| 62 | Stay alert on the road–and have fewer pit stops along the way |
| 63 | Sleep is overrated |
| 64 | 0-60 in under 2 ounces |
| 65 | Tired of falling asleep at your desk? |
| 66 | Your energy drink, grown up |
| 67 | Like new sparkplugs for your energy level |
| 68 | Discreet energy for on-the-sly sipping |
| 69 | Sometimes, you just need more caffeine |
| 70 | When your friends want to hit the midnight release of a movie premier |
| 71 | There’s a reason we sell over 1 million bottles every day |
| 72 | Power through the daily grind |
| 73 | All the energy without the sugar |
| 74 | 5 better hours in just 2 ounces |
| 75 | Red Bull’s older, smarter, not-as-cool cousin |
| 76 | All the benefits of coffee, and then some |
| 77 | Kick your body into a higher gear |
| 78 | Never sleep again |
| 79 | Because 8-hours of sleep isn’t always an option |
| 80 | Works great. Tastes gross. |
| 81 | The quicker picker upper |
| 82 | Because you need a pick-me-up that doesn’t make you want to skateboard |
| 83 | It’s go time |
| 84 | The “I don’t drink coffee or energy drinks” alternative |
| 85 | Keep your pump throughout the day |
| 86 | Pop open in your golf bag and stay focused on the back 9 |
| 87 | Tired of feeling like a wiped-out zombie? |
| 88 | Bring the whole world into focus |
| 89 | For when the boss schedules a 2-hour meeting right after lunch |
| 90 | They keep you functioning when you can’t even |
| 91 | Your portable power source |
| 92 | Clear the cobwebs out of your head, fast |
| 93 | Stay awake, even when you’re in snoozeville |
| 94 | They kick your mind & body into gear |
| 95 | Like coffee, but better (and no bad breath) |
| 96 | Works like a charm |
| 97 | Your new study buddy for late night cram sessions |
| 98 | Bye bye tired |
| 99 | Lightning in a bottle |
| 100 | Your best bet for a better day |
| 101 | Gives you the energy of a wound-up toddler |
Overall, OK, but these are lacking a punch. Honestly, it’s been a long day and feel like I half-assed this list. I’m tired. Fell asleep while writing it. No joke. Very ironic.
Lessons: Don’t write tired. Especially about energy products
Let’s put this on the “try again later” list. I can do better. This is a little generic. Even so, there are a few decent lines here.
Time: 1 hour, split by an unscheduled nap
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