If you’ve been following along, you’ll understand how hard this was for me not to write 100 lines about “your junk.” The jokes just write themselves!. But I resisted
No, instead, I took this seriously. And it was surprisingly enjoyable to write about. I like that it’s a really useful service. I didn’t focus on any one company in particular, but instead browsed a few local sites here in Atlanta. The pages ranged from pretty good to oh-my-lord-did-a-toddler-write-this? So many exclamation marks…
Get your mind out of the gutter and the junk out of your trunk. Here are 111 lines about bulk removal services:
|The best gift you can give yourself is the avoidance of hard labor
|Reclaim your space in less time than it takes to vacuum
|We’re not done until you say so
|Lose the junk without straining your back
|Prompt, polite, and priced-right removal of all your junk
|Whatever clutter you want gone, we’ll get gone
|The truck that makes your junk disappear
|When appliances break, we’ll take them off your hands
|Learn what it’s like to be a minimalist
|Save a trip to the dump. We’re headed there anyway.
|Put your junk in our trunk
|Even if it’s junk, it’s YOUR junk. And you want it handled with respect
|We treat your junk with respect
|Unjunkify your life
|Just point to your junk piles, and we’ll take it from there
|Say the word and we’ll make it disappear for you
|Easy on your wallet, easy on your walls
|It’s going to feel good to free up all that space
|The gentleman movers who treat your treasures with respect
|The movers who make your junk disappear
|Junk removal without the wall dents
|Schedule a time to free up your life
|Some things are just too big to put by the curb
|For all the items too big to even get to the cub
|Just think of all the new things you can buy to fill up your new space
|Just because you lose the furniture, doesn’t mean you can’t keep the memories
|when you need to downsize, we know just what to do
|Make your home free of debris
|Get a great to haul your large items away
|Imagine how much room you’ll have when all your clutter is gone
|We’ll clean up your clutter, and after ourselves
|Clear your basement, clean your garage
|When the clutter is gone, the relief is instant
|Uncluttering is good for your soul
|Shed the items, keep the memories
|We treat your furniture as well as you’ve treated it all these years
|Helping homeowners reclaim their space
|A truck and some muscle to haul your clutter away
|Not quite sure what to do with that broken water heater?
|Moving sucks. We make it suck less.
|You enjoy you new, open space. We’ll take care of the grunting and groaning.
|Just point, and we’ll make it gone
|For junk collectors looking to free up space for more
|It’s time to start over
|Clearing out clutter, one basement at a time
|What were you planning on doing with those old mattresses anyway?
|We’ll gladly hold your junk
|Not sure if you want it gone? Think about the new piece you’ll love even more
|Free up your life in less than 30 minutes
|Junk removal for any size project you have
|Prompt pick-up for whatever you need gone
|We can haul it away fast, or give you a moment to say goodbye
|Hoarders, we feel you, my friend.
|We understand losing items isn’t easy. We’ll only take what you need us to.
|The good news for big junk piles
|When it’s time to upgrade your furniture, we’ll remove the old pieces for you
|Lift the weight off your shoulders and into our truck
|Remove all the unfinished projects from your life
|Make your junk disappear like magic
|If you need it gone, we’ll make it go
|Wondering what to do with your broken refrigerator?
|We treat your items as well as we treat you (and that’s pretty darn well)
|Sit back and relax on your new stuff while we haul off your old stuff
|Rip off the Band-Aid. We’ll haul all your clutter away in one single trip
|Lose the junk, fast
|Consolidating houses? We’ll help you remove the duplicates.
|The easiest way to make moving less cumbersome
|Too big for the curb, too small for a dumpster
|After 22 years in your basement, it’s safe to get rid of that old couch
|What will take you a whole weekend, only takes us 30 minutes. Get your time back.
|Say bye-bye to whatever’s clogging up your home
|For when you need it gone, fast
|Don’t just clean. Unjunk.
|Lighten the load before your big move
|Give us a call. That old hot tub isn’t going to move itself.
|Where you lose your clutter and find your space
|The “All I had to do was sit and point” junk removal service
|Make way for the new stuff
|Upgrade your life. Downgrade your clutter
|The right amount of manpower to remove whatever you need
|Big junk is our favorite
|Where cluttered homes suddenly feel bigger
|Safe removal of all your old items
|Let us lighten the load for you
|We respect your property as much as we respect you
|Lighten your load
|No nonsense junk removal
|Unclutter your life
|Put your old apartment in the past
|Damage free, junk removal
|So friendly, you may miss us more than your old junk
|You’ve done enough work. Let us handle all the heavy lifting from here.
|Shed the items from your old life
|Avoid the headache—and the backache—of removing your old junk
|Don’t let clutter weigh you down
|Junk it, load it, haul it away
|Big stuff. Random stuff. Gone stuff.
|It’s amazing how much you’ve accumulated over the years. Time to start fresh
|Give yourself a clean slate
|Where basements are way bigger than you thought
|Just because you can take it with you, doesn’t mean you should
|We’ll treat your junk like it was our own
|For homeowners who are starting to feel closed in
|Have professional gentlemen handle the items in your home
|Take the weight off your shoulders and out of your house
|Just one truck can free up your whole life
|Like having a huge weight lifted from your home’s shoulders
|Give your furniture collection a fresh start
|Just as strong as the other guys, and way more professional
|We understand the emotional attachment and treat your items with respect
|For when you’ve got enough junk in your home to fill an entire truck
Overall: Surprisingly good! I don’t know why it was a surprise. I’m starting to enjoy writing about services. But I didn’t expect so many easy lines and variations.
Lessons: The reviews were great. There were a lot of interesting themes you might not expect–like relief, appreciation and professionalism. This isn’t (always) about Tony & Earl showing up and hauling away your old refrigerator. There were some heart-warming stories about crews working hard to help people improve their property, get them out of a pickle, and respect the individual situations. I was a welcome discovery.
Time: 2 sessions, 55 minutes.