Heads up. I’m going super niche today. If you’re not into hockey, goalies specifically, this post will be of little interest to you.
Alright.That means we can talk about the good stuff. Butterfly slides, VH, reverse VH, single-T vs. double-T gloves…
…Aaand there goes everyone else but the goalies.
So, you’ve probably seen these bungee cords that people are replacing their toe ties with. I started using them this season, and man alive, what a difference! Monster Hockey has gone off the deep end with replacing everything they can with the stuff. And they have all kinds of products you can use to tweak your pads. Professor straps, lacing systems, knee blocks, etc. All great stuff. They’ve earned my business, and today’s headlines.
Here are 101 lines about Monster Hockey:
|Worn out knee blocks bruising you up?
|Widen your butterfly in 2 simple straps
|How to make your beer league pads react like pros
|Everything you need to lighten, tighten & customize your pads
|All the “whoa, my pads feel way better!” gadgets
|For goalies who want a better butterfly
|The behind the pad secrets of elite goaltenders
|For goalies tired of slamming their knees on the ice
|The best thing to happen to goalies since the butterfly
|Lighten your pads
|The bad news for good shooters
|You’ll be amazed how good your old pads can feel
|Make your old pads feel new again
|Stop using archaic strap designs
|Grab your pads. They’re not going to get faster just by watching.
|Not just faster. Safer.
|Make your pads feel like your legs
|The easiest way to get a better butterfly
|Bungee into the perfect butterfly
|The pad straps that make your legs move faster
|Do you suffer for butterfly ankles?
|How to customize your pads on the cheap
|Sometimes a small purchase makes a big change
|The next time you let in a soft goal, you’ll kick yourself for not ordering this
|How to make your pads faster
|The pad strap system that just makes sense
|Pro-level tweaks for beer-leage goalies
|Butterfly goalies! Cushion those knees.
|Bungee your way into a butterfly slide
|Strap ’em on and slide
|Get a better pad feel without losing the rotation
|No more floppy pads
|Wear what the pros are wearing
|Made for goalies, built by goalies
|Make your pads lighter and tighter
|Better rotation. Better butterfly.
|Got a floppy pad problem?
|Psst. Your pad straps suck.
|Lose the ties and get some straps
|Stop using floppy pads
|The fastest way to speed up your dressing time
|You don’t have to loosen your pads so much anymore
|When you’re lighter, you’re faster
|The “nice save” maker
|Pro-tweaked pads. Beer league budget.
|Dial in the perfect flex
|Like putting new spark plugs in your goalie pads
|Making your pads more responsive, one butterfly at a time
|Never step on loose toe ties again
|With all the goalie pad innovations since the 1960’s, everyone overlooked the leather straps
|Make your pads better in 3 minutes flat
|Ease the pressure on your knees and hips
|Take a look what’s behind your pads
|Step up your butterfly in less time than it takes to warm up
|Do your ankles hurt after a game?
|Goalies! Speed up!
|Get cooler, lighter & faster goaltending gear
|When your pads react faster, you stop more pucks
|Customize your pads (without getting custom pads)
|One devil of a design
|The secret to a wider butterfly
|Make your floppy pads move as you move
|No more cursing your damn toe ties
|The 3-minute method of improving pad rotation
|Lighter, tighter & faster pads
|Better rotation without the floppy pads
|It’s not a bungee cord. It’s a faster, lighter pad.
|The little tweaks to tighten up your gear
|How to make your pads feel like part of your leg
|Get on the ice faster. Move on the ice faster.
|Stay connected to your pad, throughout the entire butterfly
|Get a better butterfly
|Bye-bye knee stress
|Get the monster. Play posessed.
|Step up your pad strap game
|No more crashing your knees on the ice
|The landing gear that cushions that your knees
|How to stop more pucks, faster.
|You move faster when your pads are lighter
|Discover how fast your legs really are (without sacrificing pad flexibility)
|Picture your butterfly, better
|How going back to a tighter pad is actually better than hanging loose
|Lower your G.A.A. by speeding up your pad responsiveness
|All the little things that make your game better
|No more sore knees and ankles
|It’s only a matter of time before this goalie secret gets out
|Stronger pushes. Faster recovery. Better rotation.
|Get faster pads without shelling out big bucks
|Because everything about your pads, except the leather straps, is new technology
|Tired of slipping on your floppy toe ties?
|Come see what the pros use on their equipment
|Faster pad reaction = Fewer goals
|Less time in the locker room means more time on the ice.
|Custom cool for your pads
|Where the pads are always better
|Bad news for big goalie pad makers
|Ease your knees into the slide
|The champagne of beer league goalie gear
|Snug up your pads
|You’re not still using shoe laces, are you?
|The biggest goaltending innovation since Jacque put on a mask
Overall: Pretty solid. I think they do a good job talking to the right audience and use the proper lingo. There’s not a lot of text on their homepage, so I’m not sure how many of these could actually be used, but maybe in social.
Lessons: It was was cool to dive into jargon I knew would resonate. This is such a specific niche that you need to talk like they (I) talk.
- Hardly touched the templates, except to keep the flow going.
- I’m not a traditional butterfly goalie, so I had to fake it a little. But I do have sore knees and hips after games so it was an actual pain I could speak to.
- There’s a mixed audience of young & old and I’m not sure which is their core demographic. Further editing could be done if I had that info.
- I realize very few people are going to read this one and I’m completely OK with that. Sometimes ya gotta write for yourself
Time: 2 sessions: 55 minutes.