Every writer knows the hardest person to write for is yourself. Having someone to bounce ideas with is essential for nailing your copy—so when Amy Lipner, my friend and Copywriter Accelerator colleague, mentioned she was working on her site relaunch, I was happy to offer 100 lines for her.
A little background. Amy is a lawyer-turned-copywriter with a great big soft spot for good companies. We’re talking B-Corp, community-minded, give-back-to-those-around-you, all-around-do-gooders that make the world go ’round. She sent me a draft of her new copy, and I pulled ideas from there as well as our discussions over the last few weeks.
From there, I wrote 80 lines and sent them to her for review. She highlighted the ones she liked, X’d out the ones she didn’t, and I created another 20 based on her direction.
Normally, I scramble the lines when I’m done for fresh perspective, but today I’ll leave them as is so you can see how our process worked. A little behind-the-scenes action.
Here are 101 lines for Amy. Bold lines chosen by her:
1 | Copy for a better world |
2 | Copy that’s not afraid to fight |
3 | Copy that fights for your cause |
4 | Mission-driven copy |
5 | Powerful copy that drives people to act |
6 | Do-Gooder Copywriting |
7 | Copy that fights like you |
8 | Damn powerful copy |
9 | Copywriting that fights for the little guy |
10 | Copy that backs up your action |
11 | Good copy for good businesses |
12 | Writing toward a better tomorrow |
13 | Bleeding heart copy |
14 | Altruistic copy for good businesses |
15 | Make your words take a stand |
16 | Words that fight as hard as you do |
17 | Make your copy fight for what you believe |
18 | Copy that backs your beliefs |
19 | Hold your ground copywriting for altruistic businesses |
20 | Passionate copy for businesses with a mission |
21 | Copy that backs up your action |
22 | Copy that drives your mission forward |
23 | Writing the story of your mission |
24 | How to write your mission with passion |
25 | Copy that connects with your supporters |
26 | Inspiring copy that connects & drives your mission |
27 | Tell the story behind your mission |
28 | F*ck weak goals. You go big. |
29 | Turn your words into action |
30 | The writer who believes in your cause as much as you do |
31 | Copy that fights for your cause |
32 | Powerful copy that emboldens the little guy |
33 | Emboldened copy that fights |
34 | Fighting words |
35 | Impassioned copy for a bigger cause |
36 | Copy that drives action |
37 | Fundraising & mission-driven business copy |
38 | Good copy, Good business, Good money |
39 | Helping good businesses make money through words |
40 | For mission-driven businesses with a voice for good |
41 | For good businesses tired of being unheard |
42 | The loud & proud copywriting megaphone for good businesses |
43 | The ex-lawyer turned mission-driven copywriter |
44 | The altruistic ex-lawyer copywriter |
45 | Mission critical copy |
46 | Where good copy makes people act |
47 | Copy that makes the crowds walk with you |
48 | Words that inspire the passionate crowds behind you |
49 | Where little voices make big changes |
50 | Copy for change |
51 | Copy for better good business |
52 | Words with purpose |
53 | Altruistic words for damn important businesses |
54 | Words that fought in a courtroom now support you |
55 | The copywriting key to reaching your goal |
56 | The right words for big change |
57 | Well-crafted words for inspiring change |
58 | Smart writing for altruistic businesses |
59 | The business writer for inspiring change |
60 | Inspire change with your words |
61 | Words that help you change the world |
62 | Get the messages you need to change the world |
63 | The great writer for good business |
64 | The ex-lawyer who found her passion helping people |
65 | Your cause. Your business. Our copy. |
66 | You’ve got a cause worth fighting for. Let’s tell the world. |
67 | Altruistic copy for your big goals |
68 | You want to change the world. Here are the words to do it. |
69 | Where good businesses get great copy |
70 | Where good businesses get the words they need to fight great |
71 | Copy & marketing direction from an ex-lawyer turned do-gooder |
72 | Grab a pen. The world isn’t going to change itself. |
73 | All the copy you need to change the world |
74 | Get the words to make the cause |
75 | Mission-driven mission statements |
76 | Where great copy incites change |
77 | Words as powerful as your cause |
78 | Slinging words for justice & good |
79 | Copy that cares as much as you |
80 | Cause-driven copy for good businesses |
81 | The Robin Hood of Copywriters |
82 | Bleeding heart copy that fights for your cause |
83 | Helping causes convert |
84 | Your source for bleeding heart copy |
85 | A sister in arms for good cause copy |
86 | Good cause copywritng that fights |
87 | Smart copy for good causes |
88 | Copy that moves your cause |
89 | Moving your mission forward, one word at a time |
90 | Where missions get put into motion |
91 | Crafting the words that move your mission |
92 | Where your big dream hit the page |
93 | Making pages that move for big-hearted missions |
94 | Get the words that move your cause |
95 | Words that make your good business great |
96 | The writer for mission-based motion |
97 | Copy that rallies yours troops |
98 | Your mission’s rally cry writer |
99 | The rally cry writer for mission-based businesses |
100 | Propelling copy for good causes |
101 | Copy that pulls up your good business by its bootstraps |
Overall: I realize this isn’t the most interesting list for you to read, but I really enjoyed writing it. Rather telling you how I think I did, here’s the response from Amy:
Justin,
First of all – THANK YOU! It was really fun reading through these and also watching my personal brand (or whatever you call it) translated by someone else. Not surprisingly, I’ve never had anyone write something in my own voice. It’s a weird level of abstraction and actually gave me insight into the experience of being a client with a personal brand. There is something extra tricky about nailing a person’s voice, especially when they are capable of writing halfway decent sentences.
With all of that out of the way, here are my thoughts. Hopefully some of this will be helpful when thinking about benefits to other writers
- I’ll go through the list and remark on specific headlines I liked + why. Hopefully that will be helpful.
- What’s great about this list is that I’ll be able to pull from it for other page headlines as well. There are plenty of spots in my existing copy (processes page, about page, etc) where I could definitely punch things up and this is a handy list to be able to pull from as I finish this webpage revamp. It is a document I will be using time + time again.
- Your list brought to my attention a larger set of words to be considering + playing with. It was tinder for my creative spark. And it will be extra helpful when I’m in a creative drought finishing up the page.
- I mentioned this, but I liked the last 20 headlines in particular because they had more motion + movement. And, ha(!) alliteration.
Suggestions
- Some headlines, especially with the word fight, just isn’t language or tone I use. On the flipside, some headlines were too fluffy/aspirational/emotional. I wonder if other writers have such strong reactions to words (I imagine so). You may save yourself some time by sussing out what words or phrases should be avoided at the outset. Or midway.
- It may be helpful to ask exactly how the headline is going to be used. I don’t think this was an issue here, but it may help situate your thinking. I am working with a client on a headline for a page that is buried in the website – but is necessary nonetheless.
Let me know if I can help in any other way. I am on a few deadlines this week, but hope to finish up my webpage next week. I’ll keep you posted on how the headlines get used!
Lessons:
- Looking back, I should have sent the list for her review after 50. Then I could’ve strengthened the back half even more
- Her feedback on the word “fight” was especially interesting, because every time I wrote it, it felt wrong. So trust your gut, people.
- It was great to work with someone on the project. It was more like a partnership rather than flying solo as usual
- Super motivating to know the lines may be used, as opposed to posting into the void
- The list is repetitive, but seeing all your options is essential for getting your message just right.
I’ll be adding this service to my site as soon as I nail down the process. Contact me if you want to be in beta-test phase!
Time: I didn’t time today but it went fast. I’d say 45-55 minutes, plus breaks awaiting feedback.
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