Back to consumer products today. FlexSafe is small bag for your valuables that you lock to a pool chair. It let’s you swim without having to worry about leaving your wallet, phone and keys out in the open. Or constantly checking to see if the thieves were smart enough to look in your shoe.
The bag looks pretty tough. Definitely fills a need. I think the headline list turned out well. Let me know what you think.
Here are 101 lines about Flexsafe:
| 1 | Even if you leave your bag behind, it’ll still be there when you sober up |
| 2 | It would take a professional bank thief to get your wallet |
| 3 | How to keep your valuables safe at the beach |
| 4 | You’ve got to put your phone somewhere while you swim. May as well do it safely. |
| 5 | The security guard for your wallet, phone and keys |
| 6 | Vacation safer than the poor saps next to you |
| 7 | Don’t just hide your beachside valuables. Lock them up. |
| 8 | Not the only bag you’ll need, but it can be the most important one |
| 9 | Why rent a pool locker when you can keep your valuables secure at your chair? |
| 10 | The Fort Knox of backpacks |
| 11 | Looping your bag around a chair leg isn’t going to stop a thief, ya know? |
| 12 | The anti-theft travel bag |
| 13 | Even in the nice places, you still want to lock you bag |
| 14 | Stash your valuables and secure them in public |
| 15 | Travel safe with a travel safe |
| 16 | The soft, portable, bank vault |
| 17 | Traveling somewhere sketchy? |
| 18 | Protect your wallet, phone & keys while you swim |
| 19 | Enjoy the pool without worrying about your wallet |
| 20 | Slash-proof, theft-proof, water-proof packs. |
| 21 | You’d need claws made of adamantium to get through this bag |
| 22 | The worry-free poolside bag |
| 23 | Be sure to come with all the valuables you brought with you |
| 24 | Get rid of vacation theft, once and for all |
| 25 | The only way your poolside valuables are getting out, is if you want them to |
| 26 | Protect your phone, one pool chair at a time |
| 27 | You’re not still renting beach lockers, are you? |
| 28 | Keeping your items safe, one vacation at a time |
| 29 | It’s like having a security guard watch your gear |
| 30 | The unburied treasure chest (complete with unbreakable locks) |
| 31 | The bag that prevents theft |
| 32 | The “How did they know my wallet was in my shoe?” preventer |
| 33 | FlexSafe makes your happy place, happier |
| 34 | The security bag for beachgoers |
| 35 | Don’t risk leaving your wallet under your deck chair |
| 36 | Here’s how to keep your wallet safe at the beach |
| 37 | Let us know how “hoping” works as a security measure for you. |
| 38 | Stop hiding your wallet in your shoe |
| 39 | The Iron Man of poolside bags |
| 40 | Day trips are better when your stuff doesn’t get stolen |
| 41 | Because you can’t hide your wallet under a flip flop |
| 42 | Contrary to what you might think, theft can happen to you. |
| 43 | Do you really trust your son to lock his dorm room? |
| 44 | Because “hoping for the best” is never a good plan for your valuables |
| 45 | Don’t worry about your wallet. It’s in the FlexSafe |
| 46 | The safe deposit box for your beach chair |
| 47 | The safe deposit bag |
| 48 | Even Wolverine couldn’t claw through this bag |
| 49 | Now you can leave your gear on your bike |
| 50 | They can’t steal your bag, or what’s in it, when it’s a FlexSafe |
| 51 | How to deter professional beach thieves |
| 52 | The perfect party accessory for poolside security |
| 53 | The bag that makes you feel safe |
| 54 | The pool is more fun when you’re not worried about your stuff |
| 55 | The 24-hour security guard for your poolside gear |
| 56 | It only takes a second to steal your gear. Unless you have FlexSafe |
| 57 | Public beaches aren’t the best place to put your faith in humanity |
| 58 | Until they make your phone waterproof, put it in a FlexSafe |
| 59 | How do you know the guy you asked to watch your stuff isn’t the one stealing it? |
| 60 | Why risk your valuables? |
| 61 | Thieves don’t even have to steal your phones to get your ID. Which is why we RFID protected our bag. |
| 62 | A better option than placing your phone under your towel |
| 63 | Like putting your beach gear in armored truck |
| 64 | Personally, we wouldn’t trust a stranger to watch our stuff while we swim |
| 65 | Let the thieves take someone else’s bag |
| 66 | The bag that’s got your back |
| 67 | The closest you can get to an on-call security guard for your beach chair |
| 68 | There’s safe, then there’s FlexSafe |
| 69 | The bad news bag for thieves |
| 70 | Think you can really trust people on the cruise to watch your stuff? |
| 71 | If Brinx made a bag, it would be this one |
| 72 | The perfect portable safe |
| 73 | The secret is in the steel-enforced lining. |
| 74 | The only thing missing is the two loud beeps when you lock it |
| 75 | The bag for better vacations |
| 76 | Even the safest neighborhoods have a little bit of crime |
| 77 | Where good people come back to their chairs, with all their belongings still there |
| 78 | Like a compact bank vault you carry in your pool bag |
| 79 | Security hacks for your poolside valuables |
| 80 | Sunbathe with both eyes closed |
| 81 | Bye bye locker rentals |
| 82 | Lock up your valuables. They’re not going to protect themselves. |
| 83 | Don’t worry about the unsavory characters at the pool. You’ve got a FlexSafe. |
| 84 | No more lounging with one eye open |
| 85 | The poolside security you’ve been missing |
| 86 | Breaking news! Wallet thieves have finally discovered people hide valuables in their in shoes |
| 87 | Where cellphones hide from pool thieves |
| 88 | Strap Fort Knox onto your chair |
| 89 | Beachgoers, lock up! |
| 90 | How to keep your poolside valuables secure |
| 91 | When your bag is safe, YOU feel safe |
| 92 | Now you can keep both eyes on your kids, rather than one your bag |
| 93 | Feel safe leaving your valuables behind |
| 94 | Like having a security guard by your beach chair |
| 95 | No more swimming with a locker key on your wrist |
| 96 | Because praying thieves don’t look under your towel doesn’t always work |
| 97 | For beachgoers who don’t like being worrywarts |
| 98 | The dorm room security bag |
| 99 | Lock ’em up, lock ’em in |
| 100 | You’re not still hiding your wallet in your shoe, are you? |
| 101 | Protecting wallets, one pool chair at a time |
Overall: Not too shabby. There’s a bit of repetition, but it doesn’t seem overly tiresome. Not my best post, but far from the worst.
Lessons: The reviews were all identical, which hurt my chances at finding good language to build from. And the bag is rather small, (think 3-can cooler size), which limited creativity. I had written about 10 or 15 additional lines that I cut once I realized the specs were less than I thought. So that was a bummer.
The bag touts several usage occasions, but all the reviews were focused on poolside. So I wanted to stay true to the main audience.
Damn me for limiting myself.
*shakes fist in anger*
Time: I knocked out most of the lines during a 40-minute session, then went back for a few here & there. Tough to say exactly how much time was tossed in. But only 1 real “session.” This was good in the sense that I was able to build ideas in the back of my mind, but bad that it hung over my head for longer than usual. Because I like closure.
I’m still looking for ideas, my friends. Shoot me a note if you’ve got any.
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