Back to consumer products today. FlexSafe is small bag for your valuables that you lock to a pool chair. It let’s you swim without having to worry about leaving your wallet, phone and keys out in the open. Or constantly checking to see if the thieves were smart enough to look in your shoe.

The bag looks pretty tough. Definitely fills a need. I think the headline list turned out well. Let me know what you think.

Here are 101 lines about Flexsafe:

1Even if you leave your bag behind, it’ll still be there when you sober up
2It would take a professional bank thief to get your wallet
3How to keep your valuables safe at the beach
4You’ve got to put your phone somewhere while you swim. May as well do it safely.
5The security guard for your wallet, phone and keys
6Vacation safer than the poor saps next to you
7Don’t just hide your beachside valuables. Lock them up.
8Not the only bag you’ll need, but it can be the most important one
9Why rent a pool locker when you can keep your valuables secure at your chair?
10The Fort Knox of backpacks
11Looping your bag around a chair leg isn’t going to stop a thief, ya know?
12The anti-theft travel bag
13Even in the nice places, you still want to lock you bag
14Stash your valuables and secure them in public
15Travel safe with a travel safe
16The soft, portable, bank vault
17Traveling somewhere sketchy? 
18Protect your wallet, phone & keys while you swim
19Enjoy the pool without worrying about your wallet
20Slash-proof, theft-proof, water-proof packs.
21You’d need claws made of adamantium to get through this bag
22The worry-free poolside bag
23Be sure to come with all the valuables you brought with you
24Get rid of vacation theft, once and for all
25The only way your poolside valuables are getting out, is if you want them to
26Protect your phone, one pool chair at a time
27You’re not still renting beach lockers, are you?
28Keeping your items safe, one vacation at a time
29It’s like having a security guard watch your gear
30The unburied treasure chest (complete with unbreakable locks)
31The bag that prevents theft
32The “How did they know my wallet was in my shoe?” preventer
33FlexSafe makes your happy place, happier
34The security bag for beachgoers
35Don’t risk leaving your wallet under your deck chair
36Here’s how to keep your wallet safe at the beach
37Let us know how “hoping” works as a security measure for you.
38Stop hiding your wallet in your shoe
39The Iron Man of poolside bags
40Day trips are better when your stuff doesn’t get stolen
41Because you can’t hide your wallet under a flip flop
42Contrary to what you might think, theft can happen to you.
43Do you really trust your son to lock his dorm room?
44Because “hoping for the best” is never a good plan for your valuables
45Don’t worry about your wallet. It’s in the FlexSafe
46The safe deposit box for your beach chair
47The safe deposit bag
48Even Wolverine couldn’t claw through this bag
49Now you can leave your gear on your bike
50They can’t steal your bag, or what’s in it, when it’s a FlexSafe
51How to deter professional beach thieves
52The perfect party accessory for poolside security
53The bag that makes you feel safe
54The pool is more fun when you’re not worried about your stuff
55The 24-hour security guard for your poolside gear
56It only takes a second to steal your gear. Unless you have FlexSafe
57Public beaches aren’t the best place to put your faith in humanity
58Until they make your phone waterproof, put it in a FlexSafe
59How do you know the guy you asked to watch your stuff isn’t the one stealing it?
60Why risk your valuables?
61Thieves don’t even have to steal your phones to get your ID. Which is why we RFID protected our bag.
62A better option than placing your phone under your towel
63Like putting your beach gear in armored truck
64Personally, we wouldn’t trust a stranger to watch our stuff while we swim
65Let the thieves take someone else’s bag
66The bag that’s got your back
67The closest you can get to an on-call security guard for your beach chair
68There’s safe, then there’s FlexSafe
69The bad news bag for thieves
70Think you can really trust people on the cruise to watch your stuff?
71If Brinx made a bag, it would be this one
72The perfect portable safe
73The secret is in the steel-enforced lining.
74The only thing missing is the two loud beeps when you lock it
75The bag for better vacations
76Even the safest neighborhoods have a little bit of crime
77Where good people come back to their chairs, with all their belongings still there
78Like a compact bank vault you carry in your pool bag
79Security hacks for your poolside valuables
80Sunbathe with both eyes closed
81Bye bye locker rentals
82Lock up your valuables. They’re not going to protect themselves.
83Don’t worry about the unsavory characters at the pool. You’ve got a FlexSafe.
84No more lounging with one eye open
85The poolside security you’ve been missing
86Breaking news! Wallet thieves have finally discovered people hide valuables in their in shoes
87Where cellphones hide from pool thieves
88Strap Fort Knox onto your chair
89Beachgoers, lock up!
90How to keep your poolside valuables secure
91When your bag is safe, YOU feel safe
92Now you can keep both eyes on your kids, rather than one your bag
93Feel safe leaving your valuables behind
94Like having a security guard by your beach chair
95No more swimming with a locker key on your wrist
96Because praying thieves don’t look under your towel doesn’t always work
97For beachgoers who don’t like being worrywarts
98The dorm room security bag
99Lock ’em up, lock ’em in
100You’re not still hiding your wallet in your shoe, are you?
101Protecting wallets, one pool chair at a time

Overall: Not too shabby. There’s a bit of repetition, but it doesn’t seem overly tiresome. Not my best post, but far from the worst.

Lessons: The reviews were all identical, which hurt my chances at finding good language to build from. And the bag is rather small, (think 3-can cooler size), which limited creativity. I had written about 10 or 15 additional lines that I cut once I realized the specs were less than I thought. So that was a bummer.

The bag touts several usage occasions, but all the reviews were focused on poolside. So I wanted to stay true to the main audience.

Damn me for limiting myself.

*shakes fist in anger*

Time: I knocked out most of the lines during a 40-minute session, then went back for a few here & there. Tough to say exactly how much time was tossed in. But only 1 real “session.” This was good in the sense that I was able to build ideas in the back of my mind, but bad that it hung over my head for longer than usual. Because I like closure.

I’m still looking for ideas, my friends. Shoot me a note if you’ve got any.


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