Back to consumer products today. FlexSafe is small bag for your valuables that you lock to a pool chair. It let’s you swim without having to worry about leaving your wallet, phone and keys out in the open. Or constantly checking to see if the thieves were smart enough to look in your shoe.

The bag looks pretty tough. Definitely fills a need. I think the headline list turned out well. Let me know what you think.

Here are 101 lines about Flexsafe:

1 Even if you leave your bag behind, it’ll still be there when you sober up
2 It would take a professional bank thief to get your wallet
3 How to keep your valuables safe at the beach
4 You’ve got to put your phone somewhere while you swim. May as well do it safely.
5 The security guard for your wallet, phone and keys
6 Vacation safer than the poor saps next to you
7 Don’t just hide your beachside valuables. Lock them up.
8 Not the only bag you’ll need, but it can be the most important one
9 Why rent a pool locker when you can keep your valuables secure at your chair?
10 The Fort Knox of backpacks
11 Looping your bag around a chair leg isn’t going to stop a thief, ya know?
12 The anti-theft travel bag
13 Even in the nice places, you still want to lock you bag
14 Stash your valuables and secure them in public
15 Travel safe with a travel safe
16 The soft, portable, bank vault
17 Traveling somewhere sketchy? 
18 Protect your wallet, phone & keys while you swim
19 Enjoy the pool without worrying about your wallet
20 Slash-proof, theft-proof, water-proof packs.
21 You’d need claws made of adamantium to get through this bag
22 The worry-free poolside bag
23 Be sure to come with all the valuables you brought with you
24 Get rid of vacation theft, once and for all
25 The only way your poolside valuables are getting out, is if you want them to
26 Protect your phone, one pool chair at a time
27 You’re not still renting beach lockers, are you?
28 Keeping your items safe, one vacation at a time
29 It’s like having a security guard watch your gear
30 The unburied treasure chest (complete with unbreakable locks)
31 The bag that prevents theft
32 The “How did they know my wallet was in my shoe?” preventer
33 FlexSafe makes your happy place, happier
34 The security bag for beachgoers
35 Don’t risk leaving your wallet under your deck chair
36 Here’s how to keep your wallet safe at the beach
37 Let us know how “hoping” works as a security measure for you.
38 Stop hiding your wallet in your shoe
39 The Iron Man of poolside bags
40 Day trips are better when your stuff doesn’t get stolen
41 Because you can’t hide your wallet under a flip flop
42 Contrary to what you might think, theft can happen to you.
43 Do you really trust your son to lock his dorm room?
44 Because “hoping for the best” is never a good plan for your valuables
45 Don’t worry about your wallet. It’s in the FlexSafe
46 The safe deposit box for your beach chair
47 The safe deposit bag
48 Even Wolverine couldn’t claw through this bag
49 Now you can leave your gear on your bike
50 They can’t steal your bag, or what’s in it, when it’s a FlexSafe
51 How to deter professional beach thieves
52 The perfect party accessory for poolside security
53 The bag that makes you feel safe
54 The pool is more fun when you’re not worried about your stuff
55 The 24-hour security guard for your poolside gear
56 It only takes a second to steal your gear. Unless you have FlexSafe
57 Public beaches aren’t the best place to put your faith in humanity
58 Until they make your phone waterproof, put it in a FlexSafe
59 How do you know the guy you asked to watch your stuff isn’t the one stealing it?
60 Why risk your valuables?
61 Thieves don’t even have to steal your phones to get your ID. Which is why we RFID protected our bag.
62 A better option than placing your phone under your towel
63 Like putting your beach gear in armored truck
64 Personally, we wouldn’t trust a stranger to watch our stuff while we swim
65 Let the thieves take someone else’s bag
66 The bag that’s got your back
67 The closest you can get to an on-call security guard for your beach chair
68 There’s safe, then there’s FlexSafe
69 The bad news bag for thieves
70 Think you can really trust people on the cruise to watch your stuff?
71 If Brinx made a bag, it would be this one
72 The perfect portable safe
73 The secret is in the steel-enforced lining.
74 The only thing missing is the two loud beeps when you lock it
75 The bag for better vacations
76 Even the safest neighborhoods have a little bit of crime
77 Where good people come back to their chairs, with all their belongings still there
78 Like a compact bank vault you carry in your pool bag
79 Security hacks for your poolside valuables
80 Sunbathe with both eyes closed
81 Bye bye locker rentals
82 Lock up your valuables. They’re not going to protect themselves.
83 Don’t worry about the unsavory characters at the pool. You’ve got a FlexSafe.
84 No more lounging with one eye open
85 The poolside security you’ve been missing
86 Breaking news! Wallet thieves have finally discovered people hide valuables in their in shoes
87 Where cellphones hide from pool thieves
88 Strap Fort Knox onto your chair
89 Beachgoers, lock up!
90 How to keep your poolside valuables secure
91 When your bag is safe, YOU feel safe
92 Now you can keep both eyes on your kids, rather than one your bag
93 Feel safe leaving your valuables behind
94 Like having a security guard by your beach chair
95 No more swimming with a locker key on your wrist
96 Because praying thieves don’t look under your towel doesn’t always work
97 For beachgoers who don’t like being worrywarts
98 The dorm room security bag
99 Lock ’em up, lock ’em in
100 You’re not still hiding your wallet in your shoe, are you?
101 Protecting wallets, one pool chair at a time

Overall: Not too shabby. There’s a bit of repetition, but it doesn’t seem overly tiresome. Not my best post, but far from the worst.

Lessons: The reviews were all identical, which hurt my chances at finding good language to build from. And the bag is rather small, (think 3-can cooler size), which limited creativity. I had written about 10 or 15 additional lines that I cut once I realized the specs were less than I thought. So that was a bummer.

The bag touts several usage occasions, but all the reviews were focused on poolside. So I wanted to stay true to the main audience.

Damn me for limiting myself.

*shakes fist in anger*

Time: I knocked out most of the lines during a 40-minute session, then went back for a few here & there. Tough to say exactly how much time was tossed in. But only 1 real “session.” This was good in the sense that I was able to build ideas in the back of my mind, but bad that it hung over my head for longer than usual. Because I like closure.

I’m still looking for ideas, my friends. Shoot me a note if you’ve got any.