Potato Parcel

Aaaaaand we have a new strangest post. Potato Parcel is the mail-able potato service. Yup. You can mail a potato to someone. That’s it, folks. That’s the whole site.

Another Shark Tank product. The scariest thing is, there’s competition. Tater Trollin, Mystery Potato, Mail-a-Spud… Those are just the first few. But if I’m gonna pick one, I’m going with the original Potato Parcel. God bless ’em for finding this very necessary USPS loophole.

You wouldn’t think there would be much more to say about this, yet I find 104 lines.

1 You know what’s better than gifting a potato? Nothing.
2 Send one to your best spuddy
3 Nothing says “I only love you because we’re related” like a potato
4 Mind if I put my potato in your mailbox?
5 Let them know you’re rooting from them.
6 Confuse your friends. Baffle your enemies
7 Send it to someone who’s sweet to you
8 Forget jelly of the month clubs. Send em’ a potato
9 For that one friend who truly deserves a potato
10 You say potato, I say parcel.
11 It doesn’t get any more random than mailing a potato
12 Give your mail carrier a little surprise
13 In some countries, it means you’re married
14 It’s not official until it’s written on a potato
15 The only thing better than sending a potato in the mail, is receiving one.
16 Potatoes are for lovers
17 Show them how much you (kind of) care.
18 You say potato, I say present
19 All the potato. None of the work.
20 Let them know they’re the hottest potato in town
21 Be a You-Tuber
22 For your friend that’s always baked
23 Tell your boss he’s a dick-tater
24 Tell someone how you really feel-with Idaho’s finest
25 The gift that’s as much fun to send as receive
26 The wrinkly ones look like babies
27 Gets funnier every time you send it
28 Everyone knows someone who can use a potato
29 When you love her, you tater
30 You’d never think a potato could bring so much joy
31 The perfect gift for your really weird cousin
32 Go ahead. Bake my day.
33 Become spuddy buddies with someone today
34 Mash your message home
35 When you tell your parents he sent you a potato, they’ll know he’s right for you.
36 Once you potato, you’ll potato again
37 When’s the last time you saw a potato on your Instagram feed?
38 Who mails a potato? You. That’s who. 
39 The original potato mailing service
40 Nobody NEEDS a potato in the mail. But everybody wants one.
41 This spud’s for your
42 Potato once, shame on you. Potato twice…
43 For the friend who already has everything
44 The perfect way to butter someone up
45 You’re either the kind of person who needs to send a potato, or the kind of person who needs to get one
46 Hey, vegan friend whose only joy in life is telling people what you can’t eat: Here.
47 Tater’s gonna tate
48 You can potato now, or potato later (choose your ship date!)
49 Send a potato. It’ll still be funny when you’re sober.
50 Starch to the beat of a different drummer
51 For that sort-of-friend who bought you a gift  you weren’t expecting, and now you have to buy them one too
52 Confuse your mailman as well as the recipient
53 The perfect accompaniment to mail order steaks
54 Potatoes make fries, vodka and electricity. Beat that, greeting card.
55 Nothing says true love like a mailed potato
56 Time fries when you’re sending fun
57 Nobody ever regifts a potato
58 Send one to your favorite tot
59 See you tater
60 You’re not paying for the potato. You’re buying the utter confusion it causes.
61 Because who the heck thinks to send a potato for a birthday present? You. That’s who.
62 The potato that keeps on giving
63 Nothing says “meh, you’re ok” like a potato
64 Because sending any other vegetable would just be wierd
65 We have 908 5-star reviews. I know, we couldn’t believe it either.
66 The best way to tell someone you’re sorry. Or you love them. Or you like potatoes. 
67 It’s impossible to be sad when you get a potato parcel
68 Fries, chips, vodka… Potatoes are the gift that keeps on giving
69 Hesitators get potaters
70 Here’s what it boils down to…
71 You can’t call someone your best friend until you send them a potato
72 Keep your EYES on the prize (that’s a potato pun, folks)
73 Tell them how you really feel–with a potato parcel
74 Nutritious, delicious & mailable.
75 Send them the strangest thing you can imagine
76 Send one to Dan Quayle
77 Cards are so 2016
78 The hottest spot for tots
79 The gift for only the best of friends
80 You can’t go wrong with a potato
81 Fine tubers for good people
82 The potato you send by post
83 Make someone’s day. Mail a potato
84 The kindest way to tell someone their baby looks like a potato
85 There’s never NOT a reason to send one
86 Potatoes: not just from Christmas anymore!
87 You’re one sweet potato
88 Real friends send potatoes
89 Nobody is sad when they receive a potato. (Confused, yes. Sad, no.)
90 Send a potato. It’s like a gluten free text message.
91 For that person who needs a little more potato in their life
92 For that strange guy who still says “po-tah-to”
93 We hand pick everyone one. Then write things on it and mail it for you.
94 Well loved by more than just Irish people
95 You know you have that one friend who will love this.
96 You say potato, I say smile
97 When it’s written on a potato, It’s written for life
98 Real friends don’t buy gifts off the registry.
99 Yup. It’s literally a potato. That you mail.
100 Tell your girlfriend she’s a sweet potato
101 The perfect present for your friend named Chip
102 Your mail carrier will never get your address wrong again
103 Literally, the dumbest thing you can mail
104 Nobody ever forgets the friend that sent them potato

Overall: Nailed it! I’m not sure what it is about these weird ones, but my brain really enjoy them. (Is it possible to niche in ridiculous sh*t?)

Lessons: What can you learn about a potato? That sometimes you need to throw yourself a bone. After the earlier struggles this week, it felt really good to just be dumb. Also, the reviews were a gold mine! I knocked out 70(!) straight lines without touching a formula. Then I needed to stop and read something smart. Just so I wouldn’t forget how.

Time: Dang it. I forgot to time but it felt short. I’d say about 55 minutes.

Potatoes mailed to people: 3

If you know any more fun sites like this, shoot me a note or put ’em in the comments. I dig these! (Unintentional garden pun)