Aaaaaand we have a new strangest post. Potato Parcel is the mail-able potato service. Yup. You can mail a potato to someone. That’s it, folks. That’s the whole site.
Another Shark Tank product. The scariest thing is, there’s competition. Tater Trollin, Mystery Potato, Mail-a-Spud… Those are just the first few. But if I’m gonna pick one, I’m going with the original Potato Parcel. God bless ’em for finding this very necessary USPS loophole.
You wouldn’t think there would be much more to say about this, yet I find 104 lines.
| 1 | You know what’s better than gifting a potato? Nothing. |
| 2 | Send one to your best spuddy |
| 3 | Nothing says “I only love you because we’re related” like a potato |
| 4 | Mind if I put my potato in your mailbox? |
| 5 | Let them know you’re rooting from them. |
| 6 | Confuse your friends. Baffle your enemies |
| 7 | Send it to someone who’s sweet to you |
| 8 | Forget jelly of the month clubs. Send em’ a potato |
| 9 | For that one friend who truly deserves a potato |
| 10 | You say potato, I say parcel. |
| 11 | It doesn’t get any more random than mailing a potato |
| 12 | Give your mail carrier a little surprise |
| 13 | In some countries, it means you’re married |
| 14 | It’s not official until it’s written on a potato |
| 15 | The only thing better than sending a potato in the mail, is receiving one. |
| 16 | Potatoes are for lovers |
| 17 | Show them how much you (kind of) care. |
| 18 | You say potato, I say present |
| 19 | All the potato. None of the work. |
| 20 | Let them know they’re the hottest potato in town |
| 21 | Be a You-Tuber |
| 22 | For your friend that’s always baked |
| 23 | Tell your boss he’s a dick-tater |
| 24 | Tell someone how you really feel-with Idaho’s finest |
| 25 | The gift that’s as much fun to send as receive |
| 26 | The wrinkly ones look like babies |
| 27 | Gets funnier every time you send it |
| 28 | Everyone knows someone who can use a potato |
| 29 | When you love her, you tater |
| 30 | You’d never think a potato could bring so much joy |
| 31 | The perfect gift for your really weird cousin |
| 32 | Go ahead. Bake my day. |
| 33 | Become spuddy buddies with someone today |
| 34 | Mash your message home |
| 35 | When you tell your parents he sent you a potato, they’ll know he’s right for you. |
| 36 | Once you potato, you’ll potato again |
| 37 | When’s the last time you saw a potato on your Instagram feed? |
| 38 | Who mails a potato? You. That’s who. |
| 39 | The original potato mailing service |
| 40 | Nobody NEEDS a potato in the mail. But everybody wants one. |
| 41 | This spud’s for your |
| 42 | Potato once, shame on you. Potato twice… |
| 43 | For the friend who already has everything |
| 44 | The perfect way to butter someone up |
| 45 | You’re either the kind of person who needs to send a potato, or the kind of person who needs to get one |
| 46 | Hey, vegan friend whose only joy in life is telling people what you can’t eat: Here. |
| 47 | Tater’s gonna tate |
| 48 | You can potato now, or potato later (choose your ship date!) |
| 49 | Send a potato. It’ll still be funny when you’re sober. |
| 50 | Starch to the beat of a different drummer |
| 51 | For that sort-of-friend who bought you a gift you weren’t expecting, and now you have to buy them one too |
| 52 | Confuse your mailman as well as the recipient |
| 53 | The perfect accompaniment to mail order steaks |
| 54 | Potatoes make fries, vodka and electricity. Beat that, greeting card. |
| 55 | Nothing says true love like a mailed potato |
| 56 | Time fries when you’re sending fun |
| 57 | Nobody ever regifts a potato |
| 58 | Send one to your favorite tot |
| 59 | See you tater |
| 60 | You’re not paying for the potato. You’re buying the utter confusion it causes. |
| 61 | Because who the heck thinks to send a potato for a birthday present? You. That’s who. |
| 62 | The potato that keeps on giving |
| 63 | Nothing says “meh, you’re ok” like a potato |
| 64 | Because sending any other vegetable would just be wierd |
| 65 | We have 908 5-star reviews. I know, we couldn’t believe it either. |
| 66 | The best way to tell someone you’re sorry. Or you love them. Or you like potatoes. |
| 67 | It’s impossible to be sad when you get a potato parcel |
| 68 | Fries, chips, vodka… Potatoes are the gift that keeps on giving |
| 69 | Hesitators get potaters |
| 70 | Here’s what it boils down to… |
| 71 | You can’t call someone your best friend until you send them a potato |
| 72 | Keep your EYES on the prize (that’s a potato pun, folks) |
| 73 | Tell them how you really feel–with a potato parcel |
| 74 | Nutritious, delicious & mailable. |
| 75 | Send them the strangest thing you can imagine |
| 76 | Send one to Dan Quayle |
| 77 | Cards are so 2016 |
| 78 | The hottest spot for tots |
| 79 | The gift for only the best of friends |
| 80 | You can’t go wrong with a potato |
| 81 | Fine tubers for good people |
| 82 | The potato you send by post |
| 83 | Make someone’s day. Mail a potato |
| 84 | The kindest way to tell someone their baby looks like a potato |
| 85 | There’s never NOT a reason to send one |
| 86 | Potatoes: not just from Christmas anymore! |
| 87 | You’re one sweet potato |
| 88 | Real friends send potatoes |
| 89 | Nobody is sad when they receive a potato. (Confused, yes. Sad, no.) |
| 90 | Send a potato. It’s like a gluten free text message. |
| 91 | For that person who needs a little more potato in their life |
| 92 | For that strange guy who still says “po-tah-to” |
| 93 | We hand pick everyone one. Then write things on it and mail it for you. |
| 94 | Well loved by more than just Irish people |
| 95 | You know you have that one friend who will love this. |
| 96 | You say potato, I say smile |
| 97 | When it’s written on a potato, It’s written for life |
| 98 | Real friends don’t buy gifts off the registry. |
| 99 | Yup. It’s literally a potato. That you mail. |
| 100 | Tell your girlfriend she’s a sweet potato |
| 101 | The perfect present for your friend named Chip |
| 102 | Your mail carrier will never get your address wrong again |
| 103 | Literally, the dumbest thing you can mail |
| 104 | Nobody ever forgets the friend that sent them potato |
Overall: Nailed it! I’m not sure what it is about these weird ones, but my brain really enjoy them. (Is it possible to niche in ridiculous sh*t?)
Lessons: What can you learn about a potato? That sometimes you need to throw yourself a bone. After the earlier struggles this week, it felt really good to just be dumb. Also, the reviews were a gold mine! I knocked out 70(!) straight lines without touching a formula. Then I needed to stop and read something smart. Just so I wouldn’t forget how.
Time: Dang it. I forgot to time but it felt short. I’d say about 55 minutes.
Potatoes mailed to people: 3
If you know any more fun sites like this, shoot me a note or put ’em in the comments. I dig these! (Unintentional garden pun)
24/100
“When you love her, you tater.” Buwahhaahhahaha. Awesome.