Potato Parcel

Aaaaaand we have a new strangest post. Potato Parcel is the mail-able potato service. Yup. You can mail a potato to someone. That’s it, folks. That’s the whole site.

Another Shark Tank product. The scariest thing is, there’s competition. Tater Trollin, Mystery Potato, Mail-a-Spud… Those are just the first few. But if I’m gonna pick one, I’m going with the original Potato Parcel. God bless ’em for finding this very necessary USPS loophole.

You wouldn’t think there would be much more to say about this, yet I find 104 lines.

1You know what’s better than gifting a potato? Nothing.
2Send one to your best spuddy
3Nothing says “I only love you because we’re related” like a potato
4Mind if I put my potato in your mailbox?
5Let them know you’re rooting from them.
6Confuse your friends. Baffle your enemies
7Send it to someone who’s sweet to you
8Forget jelly of the month clubs. Send em’ a potato
9For that one friend who truly deserves a potato
10You say potato, I say parcel.
11It doesn’t get any more random than mailing a potato
12Give your mail carrier a little surprise
13In some countries, it means you’re married
14It’s not official until it’s written on a potato
15The only thing better than sending a potato in the mail, is receiving one.
16Potatoes are for lovers
17Show them how much you (kind of) care.
18You say potato, I say present
19All the potato. None of the work.
20Let them know they’re the hottest potato in town
21Be a You-Tuber
22For your friend that’s always baked
23Tell your boss he’s a dick-tater
24Tell someone how you really feel-with Idaho’s finest
25The gift that’s as much fun to send as receive
26The wrinkly ones look like babies
27Gets funnier every time you send it
28Everyone knows someone who can use a potato
29When you love her, you tater
30You’d never think a potato could bring so much joy
31The perfect gift for your really weird cousin
32Go ahead. Bake my day.
33Become spuddy buddies with someone today
34Mash your message home
35When you tell your parents he sent you a potato, they’ll know he’s right for you.
36Once you potato, you’ll potato again
37When’s the last time you saw a potato on your Instagram feed?
38Who mails a potato? You. That’s who. 
39The original potato mailing service
40Nobody NEEDS a potato in the mail. But everybody wants one.
41This spud’s for your
42Potato once, shame on you. Potato twice…
43For the friend who already has everything
44The perfect way to butter someone up
45You’re either the kind of person who needs to send a potato, or the kind of person who needs to get one
46Hey, vegan friend whose only joy in life is telling people what you can’t eat: Here.
47Tater’s gonna tate
48You can potato now, or potato later (choose your ship date!)
49Send a potato. It’ll still be funny when you’re sober.
50Starch to the beat of a different drummer
51For that sort-of-friend who bought you a gift  you weren’t expecting, and now you have to buy them one too
52Confuse your mailman as well as the recipient
53The perfect accompaniment to mail order steaks
54Potatoes make fries, vodka and electricity. Beat that, greeting card.
55Nothing says true love like a mailed potato
56Time fries when you’re sending fun
57Nobody ever regifts a potato
58Send one to your favorite tot
59See you tater
60You’re not paying for the potato. You’re buying the utter confusion it causes.
61Because who the heck thinks to send a potato for a birthday present? You. That’s who.
62The potato that keeps on giving
63Nothing says “meh, you’re ok” like a potato
64Because sending any other vegetable would just be wierd
65We have 908 5-star reviews. I know, we couldn’t believe it either.
66The best way to tell someone you’re sorry. Or you love them. Or you like potatoes. 
67It’s impossible to be sad when you get a potato parcel
68Fries, chips, vodka… Potatoes are the gift that keeps on giving
69Hesitators get potaters
70Here’s what it boils down to…
71You can’t call someone your best friend until you send them a potato
72Keep your EYES on the prize (that’s a potato pun, folks)
73Tell them how you really feel–with a potato parcel
74Nutritious, delicious & mailable.
75Send them the strangest thing you can imagine
76Send one to Dan Quayle
77Cards are so 2016
78The hottest spot for tots
79The gift for only the best of friends
80You can’t go wrong with a potato
81Fine tubers for good people
82The potato you send by post
83Make someone’s day. Mail a potato
84The kindest way to tell someone their baby looks like a potato
85There’s never NOT a reason to send one
86Potatoes: not just from Christmas anymore!
87You’re one sweet potato
88Real friends send potatoes
89Nobody is sad when they receive a potato. (Confused, yes. Sad, no.)
90Send a potato. It’s like a gluten free text message.
91For that person who needs a little more potato in their life
92For that strange guy who still says “po-tah-to”
93We hand pick everyone one. Then write things on it and mail it for you.
94Well loved by more than just Irish people
95You know you have that one friend who will love this.
96You say potato, I say smile
97When it’s written on a potato, It’s written for life
98Real friends don’t buy gifts off the registry.
99Yup. It’s literally a potato. That you mail.
100Tell your girlfriend she’s a sweet potato
101The perfect present for your friend named Chip
102Your mail carrier will never get your address wrong again
103Literally, the dumbest thing you can mail
104Nobody ever forgets the friend that sent them potato

Overall: Nailed it! I’m not sure what it is about these weird ones, but my brain really enjoy them. (Is it possible to niche in ridiculous sh*t?)

Lessons: What can you learn about a potato? That sometimes you need to throw yourself a bone. After the earlier struggles this week, it felt really good to just be dumb. Also, the reviews were a gold mine! I knocked out 70(!) straight lines without touching a formula. Then I needed to stop and read something smart. Just so I wouldn’t forget how.

Time: Dang it. I forgot to time but it felt short. I’d say about 55 minutes.

Potatoes mailed to people: 3

If you know any more fun sites like this, shoot me a note or put ’em in the comments. I dig these! (Unintentional garden pun)