OK, so I’ll admit I’m having a little fun today. It’s the weekend, it’s a beautiful day, and I’m gonna keep this light. Plus, I’m pretty sure Facebook isn’t looking for copywriting assistance. So why not get nutty? Plus, I also have a 20 post recap to write.
I kept a few serious-ish, but it was much more entertaining to be truthful/ridiculous with it.
So here are 101 lines about BookFace.
| 1 | Find out which friends are racist real fast! |
| 2 | Immerse yourself in a world made entirely from your friends |
| 3 | It’s what selfies were made for |
| 4 | Be more popular without really being popular |
| 5 | Where your parents come to comment on all your posts |
| 6 | Identifying which of your friends are idiots, every damn day. |
| 7 | How to increase your influence and create your personal brand (without meeting anyone in person) |
| 8 | Don’t just LOL at things. Like them |
| 9 | Connect with your friends everyday, no matter what side of the world they’re on |
| 10 | How you can learn everything you need for your day, on one single website |
| 11 | How to reach a network of 1.2 billion people overnight |
| 12 | For anyone who wishes there were more out there |
| 13 | Validating your self-worth, one like at a time |
| 14 | Lose your inhibitions and talk to the world—from your couch |
| 15 | Like Twitter for Gen X’ers |
| 16 | You never knew there were so many people you could relate to |
| 17 | Find a world full of people you never knew existed |
| 18 | You’re never the weirdest one on Facebook (If you are, that’s impressive!) |
| 19 | How to network with anyone |
| 20 | Catch up with old friends without having to talk to them |
| 21 | The megaphone for disgruntled customers |
| 22 | It’s not just fun. It’s useful. |
| 23 | Where introverts are the most extraverted they’ve ever been |
| 24 | The number one website for wasting time |
| 25 | Share your life |
| 26 | Expand your influence though expression of opinion |
| 27 | Edit yourself to be anyone you want |
| 28 | For posting the perfect comeback, 23 minutes too late |
| 29 | Find your strange |
| 30 | You don’t have to be outgoing to meet new friends. |
| 31 | Where great headlines lead to disappointing articles |
| 32 | When your mom likes your old posts, it means she misses you |
| 33 | Catching you up on late night TV, every morning at breakfast |
| 34 | Connect to the world |
| 35 | The fastest way to get instant reviews from your friends |
| 36 | As long as you’ve got an internet connection, you’re never alone. |
| 37 | Like having a high-school reunion in your phone |
| 38 | If it’s not on Facebook, it didn’t really happen |
| 39 | Helping 1.15 billion people avoid decisions every day |
| 40 | Designed for colleges. Adopted by the word. |
| 41 | All your friends. All the news. |
| 42 | Procrastinators! Assemble! |
| 43 | Find new friends without leaving your house |
| 44 | Helping the world connect |
| 45 | Be the person the internet thinks you are |
| 46 | The social network that made the internet more useful |
| 47 | How to win friends & influence no one |
| 48 | Where to find all your of favorite things |
| 49 | The unsocial social network |
| 50 | The place for people who are wrong to convince themselves they’re right |
| 51 | For anyone who wants to make their life look more exciting than it actually is |
| 52 | All of the other networks combined |
| 53 | Discover a whole world of like-minded individuals—and connect |
| 54 | Where a “thumbs up” is often the only word you’ll need |
| 55 | Find new friends without geography getting in the way |
| 56 | Where people find common ground |
| 57 | Show the world what you’re made of |
| 58 | The ultimate network for finding your passion |
| 59 | The social network that changed the world |
| 60 | Are you still using Myspace? |
| 61 | Where GenX’ers still talk to other Gen X’ers |
| 62 | Discover a world without leaving your home |
| 63 | How to feel connected to the world—constantly |
| 64 | The social network your mom can embarrass you on |
| 65 | Helping you find other people like you, and making you feel less alone in the world |
| 66 | Where you’ll always be who you were in high school |
| 67 | Not just fake news anymore |
| 68 | Where you lose your limitations and find your voice |
| 69 | Changing what it means to be social, one post at a time |
| 70 | If you can’t share it on Facebook, did it really happen? |
| 71 | Like Twitter, but longer |
| 72 | See the world you want to see |
| 73 | The social connection for people who hate outside |
| 74 | Show everyone how great life can be |
| 75 | Spy on your ex |
| 76 | Where your friends spoil Game Of Thrones & every movie ever |
| 77 | The easiest way to like things you like |
| 78 | Good moments turn great when your friends cheer you on in the comments |
| 79 | The “I need to tell the world about this rainbow!” social media site |
| 80 | You’re not still using a telephone, are you? |
| 81 | Never feel alone again—and start connecting with people who can relate |
| 82 | More than just cat memes |
| 83 | There’s a world of people of who want to know more about you |
| 84 | Log in. Those posts aren’t going to Like themselves. |
| 85 | The social network without hashtags |
| 86 | The introverts guide to being friends |
| 87 | Where to find literally anyone |
| 88 | When your relationship becomes Facebook official, you know it’s for real |
| 89 | Even Tom from Myspace is on here now. |
| 90 | Wondering if your high school flame got fat? |
| 91 | Where introverts come to connect |
| 92 | You’ll find people you can relate to, no matter how strange it seems |
| 93 | See how your old high school flame is doing (but don’t like their picture, you dummy!) |
| 94 | For people too old to learn twitter |
| 95 | Share your vacation with jealous friends back home |
| 96 | Ever wonder what happened to your best friend from kindergarten? |
| 97 | The network that brings people together |
| 98 | Put your business where the world is |
| 99 | Where Russians become political |
| 100 | Physical borders don’t exist in here |
| 101 | For people too tired to watch TV and just want to know what happened on Fallon |
Overall: Too dumb to grade.
Lessons: Y’know, I actually tried to be serious with this one at first. It came out so generic that I started to get mad at myself for failing so miserably. Then I embraced it for what it really is. A place to go to avoid making decisions. It’s a procrastinators paradise. It’s a way to pass the time while standing in line at the deli counter. It’s where you look at pictures of your old high school friends. And it’s where my mom comes to comment on things I don’t want her commenting on.
That was more fun to write about.
Time: 2 30-minute sessions. 50/51 in each.
21/100
“Find out which friends are racist real fast!” This deserves to be bolded for unflinching accuracy and for making me lol.
A little snarky, but so flippin’ true!