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OK, so I’ll admit I’m having a little fun today. It’s the weekend, it’s a beautiful day, and I’m gonna keep this light. Plus, I’m pretty sure Facebook isn’t looking for copywriting assistance. So why not get nutty? Plus, I also have a 20 post recap to write.

I kept a few serious-ish, but it was much more entertaining to be truthful/ridiculous with it.

So here are 101 lines about BookFace.

1Find out which friends are racist real fast!
2Immerse yourself in a world made entirely from your friends
3It’s what selfies were made for
4Be more popular without really being popular
5Where your parents come to comment on all your posts
6Identifying which of your friends are idiots, every damn day.
7How to increase your influence and create your personal brand (without meeting anyone in person)
8Don’t just LOL at things. Like them
9Connect with your friends everyday, no matter what side of the world they’re on
10How you can learn everything you need for your day, on one single website
11How to reach a network of 1.2 billion people overnight
12For anyone who wishes there were more out there
13Validating your self-worth, one like at a time
14Lose your inhibitions and talk to the world—from your couch
15Like Twitter for Gen X’ers
16You never knew there were so many people you could relate to
17Find a world full of people you never knew existed
18You’re never the weirdest one on Facebook (If you are, that’s impressive!)
19How to network with anyone
20Catch up with old friends without having to talk to them
21The megaphone for disgruntled customers
22It’s not just fun. It’s useful.
23Where introverts are the most extraverted they’ve ever been
24The number one website for wasting time
25Share your life
26Expand your influence though expression of opinion
27Edit yourself to be anyone you want
28For posting the perfect comeback, 23 minutes too late
29Find your strange
30You don’t have to be outgoing to meet new friends.
31Where great headlines lead to disappointing articles
32When your mom likes your old posts, it means she misses you
33Catching you up on late night TV, every morning at breakfast
34Connect to the world
35The fastest way to get instant reviews from your friends
36As long as you’ve got an internet connection, you’re never alone.
37Like having a high-school reunion in your phone
38If it’s not on Facebook, it didn’t really happen
39Helping 1.15 billion people avoid decisions every day
40Designed for colleges. Adopted by the word.
41All your friends. All the news.
42Procrastinators! Assemble!
43Find new friends without  leaving your house
44Helping the world connect
45Be the person the internet thinks you are
46The social network that made the internet more useful
47How to win friends & influence no one
48Where to find all your of favorite things
49The unsocial social network
50The place for people who are wrong to convince themselves they’re right
51For anyone who wants to make their life look more exciting than it actually is
52All of the other networks combined
53Discover a whole world of like-minded individuals—and connect
54Where a “thumbs up” is often the only word you’ll need
55Find new friends without geography getting in the way
56Where people find common ground
57Show the world what you’re made of
58The ultimate network for finding your passion
59The social network that changed the world
60Are you still using Myspace?
61Where GenX’ers still talk to other Gen X’ers
62Discover a world without leaving your home
63How to feel connected to the world—constantly
64The social network your mom can embarrass you on
65Helping you find other people like you, and making you feel less alone in the world
66Where you’ll always be who you were in high school
67Not just fake news anymore
68Where you lose your limitations and find your voice
69Changing what it means to be social, one post at a time
70If you can’t share it on Facebook, did it really happen?
71Like Twitter, but longer
72See the world you want to see
73The social connection for people who hate outside
74Show everyone how great life can be
75Spy on your ex
76Where your friends spoil Game Of Thrones & every movie ever
77The easiest way to like things you like
78Good moments turn great when your friends cheer you on in the comments
79The “I need to tell the world about this rainbow!” social media site
80You’re not still using a telephone, are you?
81Never feel alone again—and start connecting with people who can relate
82More than just cat memes
83There’s a world of people of who want to know more about you
84Log in. Those posts aren’t going to Like themselves.
85The social network without hashtags
86The introverts guide to being friends
87Where to find literally anyone
88When your relationship becomes Facebook official, you know it’s for real
89Even Tom from Myspace is on here now.
90Wondering if your high school flame got fat?
91Where introverts come to connect
92You’ll find people you can relate to, no matter how strange it seems
93See how your old high school flame is doing (but don’t like their picture, you dummy!)
94For people too old to learn twitter
95Share your vacation with jealous friends back home
96Ever wonder what happened to your best friend from kindergarten?
97The network that brings people together
98Put your business where the world is
99Where Russians become political
100Physical borders don’t exist in here
101For people too tired to watch TV and just want to know what happened on Fallon


Overall: Too dumb to grade.

Lessons: Y’know, I actually tried to be serious with this one at first. It came out so generic that I started to get mad at myself for failing so miserably. Then I embraced it for what it really is. A place to go to avoid making decisions. It’s a procrastinators paradise. It’s a way to pass the time while standing in line at the deli counter. It’s where you look at pictures of your old high school friends. And it’s where my mom comes to comment on things I don’t want her commenting on.

That was more fun to write about.

Time: 2 30-minute sessions. 50/51 in each.