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OK, so I’ll admit I’m having a little fun today. It’s the weekend, it’s a beautiful day, and I’m gonna keep this light. Plus, I’m pretty sure Facebook isn’t looking for copywriting assistance. So why not get nutty? Plus, I also have a 20 post recap to write.

I kept a few serious-ish, but it was much more entertaining to be truthful/ridiculous with it.

So here are 101 lines about BookFace.

1 Find out which friends are racist real fast!
2 Immerse yourself in a world made entirely from your friends
3 It’s what selfies were made for
4 Be more popular without really being popular
5 Where your parents come to comment on all your posts
6 Identifying which of your friends are idiots, every damn day.
7 How to increase your influence and create your personal brand (without meeting anyone in person)
8 Don’t just LOL at things. Like them
9 Connect with your friends everyday, no matter what side of the world they’re on
10 How you can learn everything you need for your day, on one single website
11 How to reach a network of 1.2 billion people overnight
12 For anyone who wishes there were more out there
13 Validating your self-worth, one like at a time
14 Lose your inhibitions and talk to the world—from your couch
15 Like Twitter for Gen X’ers
16 You never knew there were so many people you could relate to
17 Find a world full of people you never knew existed
18 You’re never the weirdest one on Facebook (If you are, that’s impressive!)
19 How to network with anyone
20 Catch up with old friends without having to talk to them
21 The megaphone for disgruntled customers
22 It’s not just fun. It’s useful.
23 Where introverts are the most extraverted they’ve ever been
24 The number one website for wasting time
25 Share your life
26 Expand your influence though expression of opinion
27 Edit yourself to be anyone you want
28 For posting the perfect comeback, 23 minutes too late
29 Find your strange
30 You don’t have to be outgoing to meet new friends.
31 Where great headlines lead to disappointing articles
32 When your mom likes your old posts, it means she misses you
33 Catching you up on late night TV, every morning at breakfast
34 Connect to the world
35 The fastest way to get instant reviews from your friends
36 As long as you’ve got an internet connection, you’re never alone.
37 Like having a high-school reunion in your phone
38 If it’s not on Facebook, it didn’t really happen
39 Helping 1.15 billion people avoid decisions every day
40 Designed for colleges. Adopted by the word.
41 All your friends. All the news.
42 Procrastinators! Assemble!
43 Find new friends without  leaving your house
44 Helping the world connect
45 Be the person the internet thinks you are
46 The social network that made the internet more useful
47 How to win friends & influence no one
48 Where to find all your of favorite things
49 The unsocial social network
50 The place for people who are wrong to convince themselves they’re right
51 For anyone who wants to make their life look more exciting than it actually is
52 All of the other networks combined
53 Discover a whole world of like-minded individuals—and connect
54 Where a “thumbs up” is often the only word you’ll need
55 Find new friends without geography getting in the way
56 Where people find common ground
57 Show the world what you’re made of
58 The ultimate network for finding your passion
59 The social network that changed the world
60 Are you still using Myspace?
61 Where GenX’ers still talk to other Gen X’ers
62 Discover a world without leaving your home
63 How to feel connected to the world—constantly
64 The social network your mom can embarrass you on
65 Helping you find other people like you, and making you feel less alone in the world
66 Where you’ll always be who you were in high school
67 Not just fake news anymore
68 Where you lose your limitations and find your voice
69 Changing what it means to be social, one post at a time
70 If you can’t share it on Facebook, did it really happen?
71 Like Twitter, but longer
72 See the world you want to see
73 The social connection for people who hate outside
74 Show everyone how great life can be
75 Spy on your ex
76 Where your friends spoil Game Of Thrones & every movie ever
77 The easiest way to like things you like
78 Good moments turn great when your friends cheer you on in the comments
79 The “I need to tell the world about this rainbow!” social media site
80 You’re not still using a telephone, are you?
81 Never feel alone again—and start connecting with people who can relate
82 More than just cat memes
83 There’s a world of people of who want to know more about you
84 Log in. Those posts aren’t going to Like themselves.
85 The social network without hashtags
86 The introverts guide to being friends
87 Where to find literally anyone
88 When your relationship becomes Facebook official, you know it’s for real
89 Even Tom from Myspace is on here now.
90 Wondering if your high school flame got fat?
91 Where introverts come to connect
92 You’ll find people you can relate to, no matter how strange it seems
93 See how your old high school flame is doing (but don’t like their picture, you dummy!)
94 For people too old to learn twitter
95 Share your vacation with jealous friends back home
96 Ever wonder what happened to your best friend from kindergarten?
97 The network that brings people together
98 Put your business where the world is
99 Where Russians become political
100 Physical borders don’t exist in here
101 For people too tired to watch TV and just want to know what happened on Fallon

 

Overall: Too dumb to grade.

Lessons: Y’know, I actually tried to be serious with this one at first. It came out so generic that I started to get mad at myself for failing so miserably. Then I embraced it for what it really is. A place to go to avoid making decisions. It’s a procrastinators paradise. It’s a way to pass the time while standing in line at the deli counter. It’s where you look at pictures of your old high school friends. And it’s where my mom comes to comment on things I don’t want her commenting on.

That was more fun to write about.

Time: 2 30-minute sessions. 50/51 in each.

21/100