After yesterday’s challenge with the cat training, I decided to hit more familiar ground today. So I treated myself to an easy weekend project. I use Pacific Shaving Co. caffeinated aftershave everyday and 100% recommend it. I stumbled across it while looking for an eco-friendly, made in ‘Merica product and this hit all the bases. Plus, it’s caffeinated. Which is right up my alley.

I have no idea how they stumbled upon the caffeine concept, but it works. Their tagline—”Put caffeine on your mug, not in it”—works well. So they don’t necessarily need these lines, but I thought it might be fun to write them anyway.

I was kind of right. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Here are 101 lines about Pacific Shaving Co.:

1Wake up your face
2The best thing you can do for your face every day
3Small enough to bring in your carry-on. Big enough to start your day
4Wakey your facey
5It stimulates your skin. Not your beard.
6Where you get your smooth face, as well as your wake-up
7You live on caffeine. May as well shave with it
8Your face will wake up before your brain even gets out of bed
9Safe, natural and vegan. But you still wouldn’t want to eat it.
10jolt your face into action
11Wow. Caffeine really does make everything better.
12Helping not-morning-people become morning people
13A shaving company you can feel proud of supporting
14Blast away redness before it ever appears
15The cup of coffee for your face
16Make your face say Woohooo!
17Have you ever bragged about an aftershave before?
18You’re less irritating when you’ve had your caffeine. So is your razor. 
19Give your shave an extra kick
20Where faces get coffee
21Made with caffeine and all-natural ingredients. Not grease.
22Caffeinate your face
23For faces as sensitive as your ex-girlfriend
24Put a smile on your face. Instead of nicks.
25Kick your morning routine into high gear.
26Caffeinated shaving cream for tired faces
27Help your face wake up each morning
28Applying aftershave will be the second best thing you do in the bathroom each day
29Stimulate your face
30“The best damn shaving cream on earth”
31Add more caffeine to your morning routine
32Splash a little caffeine on your face
33For men who wish their face would wake the f*ck up
34How to wake up your face every morning
35We were skeptical of it too. Then we tried it…
36Redefining “Stimulating” one shave at a time
37Like an energy drink for your face
38Where men can feel pretty, but still manly AF
39The shaving cream with more power than your morning coffee
40Not many things will surprise your face as much as our shaving cream
41Banish razor bumps. Welcome smoothness
42Like coffee, but for your face
43Start your day with a little kick to the face
44You can try drinking if you really want to, but we recommend it only for shaving
45Made in the USA (Who else who would try to caffeinate an aftershave?)
46The morning coffee for your face
47It only sounds like a gimmick until you try it
48Discover how to wake up your face
49Soothing faces, one caffeine splash at a time
50We know it seems silly. But try it. You’ll see…
51Imagine you–with a more alert face
52The aftershave that kicks your face into gear
53Make your face cool
54Put your face on high-alert
55Get more out of your morning jo
56Perk up your morning routine
57Where caffeine lovers get the shave they deserve
58Caffeine doesn’t only help you deal with people, it helps you deal with razor burn
59Caffeine is natural. Put it on your face.
60The aftershave for environmentally friendly men who hate razor burn
61For any man who has a face 
62You’re not still DRINKING your caffeine, are you?
63You know how caffeine kicks tired to the curb? It does the same with razor bumps.
64Just try not to drink it, OK?
65The energy drink for your face
66Please don’t try shaving with Red Bull. This works way better
67You’re going to start looking forward to your morning shave
68Raise your shaving game to a whole new level
69Wake up your face without irritating it
70The sooner you start using Pacific Shave products, the better your face will feel
71Caffeine lovers! Raise your razors!
72Caffeine makes your brain happy. Now it can make your face happy, too.
73Give your face a morning buzz
74Invigorate your mornings
75The “I want to rub this everywhere!” shaving cream
76No, you don’t need to roast it before applying
77The aftershave that perks up your face
78You’ll be shocked how much a little stimulation can do for your face
79Discover the secret shaving power of caffeine
80No coffee breath! (Because you don’t drink it, silly)
81For sensitive faces with sensitive noses – fragrance free
82For a truly special shave
83Helping night owls wake up their face each morning
84Stop drinking caffeine. Start rubbing it on your face.
85For thick-skinned people wit thin-skinned faces
86Pore your morning coffee
87When’s the last time you wanted to tell someone about how great your shaving cream was?
88Caffeinated aftershave – just don’t try to drink it
89Get the shave without the bumps
90For environmentally friendly men with environmentally friendly faces
91Kick razor bumps right in the teeth.
92Good products for people with faces
93We run on caffeine. Now we shave with it too
94You don’t have to like coffee to love our shaving cream
95Has anyone ever told you your face looked tired?
96Make your face baby-butt smooth
97You should see some of the weird things we tried shaving with that didn’t work
98Add a little tingle to your morning shave
99Make every inch of your face say “ahh”
100Wake up your shaving game
101In a world full of coffee drinkers, we thought of shaving with it first

Overall: Decent. It’s a mixed bag. There are some good lines but too many generic ones for me too feel great about it. Some are pretty bad.  A few might do well in social.

Lessons: I did my best not to go overboard with the energy. This isn’t an X Games type of product. The caffeine is for redness, not for a kick in the pants. But it’s fun to play it up a little. As you’ve heard me say before, it’s a big help to write about products I use and know. Being able to draw from my own experience is gonna beat the made-up lines 9-out-of-10 times. Also, I kept defaulting to coffee—and this isn’t coffee.

Side note, I spent 9 years working for Red Bull & 5-hour Energy, so some of this felt like home.

Have a product you’d like to see me tackle? Shoot me a note or pop it in the comments.

Next up: The 2,000 line recap. Subscribe below to get it in your inbox. 

Time: 2 30-minute sessions. I knocked about 55 in the first run.