After yesterday’s challenge with the cat training, I decided to hit more familiar ground today. So I treated myself to an easy weekend project. I use Pacific Shaving Co. caffeinated aftershave everyday and 100% recommend it. I stumbled across it while looking for an eco-friendly, made in ‘Merica product and this hit all the bases. Plus, it’s caffeinated. Which is right up my alley.

I have no idea how they stumbled upon the caffeine concept, but it works. Their tagline—”Put caffeine on your mug, not in it”—works well. So they don’t necessarily need these lines, but I thought it might be fun to write them anyway.

I was kind of right. Let me know what you think in the comments.

Here are 101 lines about Pacific Shaving Co.:

1 Wake up your face
2 The best thing you can do for your face every day
3 Small enough to bring in your carry-on. Big enough to start your day
4 Wakey your facey
5 It stimulates your skin. Not your beard.
6 Where you get your smooth face, as well as your wake-up
7 You live on caffeine. May as well shave with it
8 Your face will wake up before your brain even gets out of bed
9 Safe, natural and vegan. But you still wouldn’t want to eat it.
10 jolt your face into action
11 Wow. Caffeine really does make everything better.
12 Helping not-morning-people become morning people
13 A shaving company you can feel proud of supporting
14 Blast away redness before it ever appears
15 The cup of coffee for your face
16 Make your face say Woohooo!
17 Have you ever bragged about an aftershave before?
18 You’re less irritating when you’ve had your caffeine. So is your razor. 
19 Give your shave an extra kick
20 Where faces get coffee
21 Made with caffeine and all-natural ingredients. Not grease.
22 Caffeinate your face
23 For faces as sensitive as your ex-girlfriend
24 Put a smile on your face. Instead of nicks.
25 Kick your morning routine into high gear.
26 Caffeinated shaving cream for tired faces
27 Help your face wake up each morning
28 Applying aftershave will be the second best thing you do in the bathroom each day
29 Stimulate your face
30 “The best damn shaving cream on earth”
31 Add more caffeine to your morning routine
32 Splash a little caffeine on your face
33 For men who wish their face would wake the f*ck up
34 How to wake up your face every morning
35 We were skeptical of it too. Then we tried it…
36 Redefining “Stimulating” one shave at a time
37 Like an energy drink for your face
38 Where men can feel pretty, but still manly AF
39 The shaving cream with more power than your morning coffee
40 Not many things will surprise your face as much as our shaving cream
41 Banish razor bumps. Welcome smoothness
42 Like coffee, but for your face
43 Start your day with a little kick to the face
44 You can try drinking if you really want to, but we recommend it only for shaving
45 Made in the USA (Who else who would try to caffeinate an aftershave?)
46 The morning coffee for your face
47 It only sounds like a gimmick until you try it
48 Discover how to wake up your face
49 Soothing faces, one caffeine splash at a time
50 We know it seems silly. But try it. You’ll see…
51 Imagine you–with a more alert face
52 The aftershave that kicks your face into gear
53 Make your face cool
54 Put your face on high-alert
55 Get more out of your morning jo
56 Perk up your morning routine
57 Where caffeine lovers get the shave they deserve
58 Caffeine doesn’t only help you deal with people, it helps you deal with razor burn
59 Caffeine is natural. Put it on your face.
60 The aftershave for environmentally friendly men who hate razor burn
61 For any man who has a face 
62 You’re not still DRINKING your caffeine, are you?
63 You know how caffeine kicks tired to the curb? It does the same with razor bumps.
64 Just try not to drink it, OK?
65 The energy drink for your face
66 Please don’t try shaving with Red Bull. This works way better
67 You’re going to start looking forward to your morning shave
68 Raise your shaving game to a whole new level
69 Wake up your face without irritating it
70 The sooner you start using Pacific Shave products, the better your face will feel
71 Caffeine lovers! Raise your razors!
72 Caffeine makes your brain happy. Now it can make your face happy, too.
73 Give your face a morning buzz
74 Invigorate your mornings
75 The “I want to rub this everywhere!” shaving cream
76 No, you don’t need to roast it before applying
77 The aftershave that perks up your face
78 You’ll be shocked how much a little stimulation can do for your face
79 Discover the secret shaving power of caffeine
80 No coffee breath! (Because you don’t drink it, silly)
81 For sensitive faces with sensitive noses – fragrance free
82 For a truly special shave
83 Helping night owls wake up their face each morning
84 Stop drinking caffeine. Start rubbing it on your face.
85 For thick-skinned people wit thin-skinned faces
86 Pore your morning coffee
87 When’s the last time you wanted to tell someone about how great your shaving cream was?
88 Caffeinated aftershave – just don’t try to drink it
89 Get the shave without the bumps
90 For environmentally friendly men with environmentally friendly faces
91 Kick razor bumps right in the teeth.
92 Good products for people with faces
93 We run on caffeine. Now we shave with it too
94 You don’t have to like coffee to love our shaving cream
95 Has anyone ever told you your face looked tired?
96 Make your face baby-butt smooth
97 You should see some of the weird things we tried shaving with that didn’t work
98 Add a little tingle to your morning shave
99 Make every inch of your face say “ahh”
100 Wake up your shaving game
101 In a world full of coffee drinkers, we thought of shaving with it first

Overall: Decent. It’s a mixed bag. There are some good lines but too many generic ones for me too feel great about it. Some are pretty bad.  A few might do well in social.

Lessons: I did my best not to go overboard with the energy. This isn’t an X Games type of product. The caffeine is for redness, not for a kick in the pants. But it’s fun to play it up a little. As you’ve heard me say before, it’s a big help to write about products I use and know. Being able to draw from my own experience is gonna beat the made-up lines 9-out-of-10 times. Also, I kept defaulting to coffee—and this isn’t coffee.

Side note, I spent 9 years working for Red Bull & 5-hour Energy, so some of this felt like home.

Have a product you’d like to see me tackle? Shoot me a note or pop it in the comments.

Next up: The 2,000 line recap. Subscribe below to get it in your inbox. 

Time: 2 30-minute sessions. I knocked about 55 in the first run.