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This may be the strangest thing I’ve ever written about. CitiKitty Cat Toilet Training Kit is yet another Shark Tank gold mine. Man, there have been some ridiculous things on that show…

You’ve seen “Meet The Parents” right? Remember Mr Jinx? He’s the cat who uses the toilet, yet also pees on Grandma’s ashes. Then he tears apart Ben Stiller’s face and throws a wild house party with a rabid ferret Also, I may not have ever seen “Meet The Parents.” But I did work at a pet store back in high school. And I do know how to use a bathroom. Turns out, neither of those proved to be of much use here.

Let me know what you think about these lines:

1 Where cats learn to use the potty
2 There’s more than one way to train a cat
3 The sooner your cat knows how to use the toilet, the sooner you can lose the litterbox
4 Take your cat’s loveableness to a whole new level
5 What your cat won’t tell you about how it wants to pee
6 The “my cat poops in the toilet” training aid
7 Bye-Bye litter box
8 When you walk in on your cat using the toilet, try not to make eye contact
9 I trained my cat to use the bathroom. Now if I can just get my husband to put the seat down…
10 The #1 way to teach your cat to go #2
11 Cat owners! Your whole life is about to change.
12 For the cat owner who hates dealing with litter
13 Never suffer from stinky litterboxes again
14 I can’t even imagine how I used to live with smelly messy litter in my apartment!
15 Free yourself from scooping
16 You think your cat is cool NOW?
17 Toss your litter box.
18 Why you should ditch the box and use the loo
19 Cat owners! Do you want to train your cat to use the toilet?
20 Now, if you can only teach your cat to put the seat down
21 Now you really do have the coolest kitty in town
22 Have a cat like the one in “Meet The Parents”
23 Helping cats get toilet trained, one poop at a time
24 The #1 thing you should know about teaching your cat to go #2
25 OMG, Did your cat just use the toilet?!
26 How many dogs do you know that can use a toilet?
27 You’re going to have the best dinner conversation topic EVER
28 Flushing is better than scooping
29 You too can have a cat that uses the restroom
30 Dogs drink out of toilets. Cats use them like people.
31 Don’t housetrain your cat. Toilet train it.
32 For when the #1 cat in your life has to go #2
33 People may laugh when you tell them your cat poops in the potty. But when they hear him flush!
34 Don’t try any other litter box until you try your toilet
35 Transforming the way you train your cats, one toilet at a time
36 At last! A way to never change the litterbox again!
37 Here’s a way to challenge everything you ever knew about cat training
38 Who else wants a cat that can use the potty?
39 Life is easier when you don’t have to clean cat pee
40 Give me 3 weeks and I’ll make your cat use the toilet
41 Even dumb cats can learn to use the toilet
42 If your husband tries to blame the cat for the empty toilet paper roll, he’s lying
43 The only hard part is teaching your cat how to flush
44 The ugly truth about how your cat poops
45 Litter boxes are for dog people
46 Proof that cats are better than dogs: How many dogs do you know who can use a toilet?
47 Is your cat smart enough to use the toilet?
48 Yup, you can even teach them to flush
49 How many dogs do you know who can use a toilet?
50 The strangest sound you’ll ever hear is your cat tinkling in the toilet
51 Now you won’t be the only person talking about how great your cat is.
52 Think your cat is so great? Prove it.
53 How to own of the most interesting cat in the world
54 Challenging the way you think about litterboxes
55 Little known tricks to training your cat to use the toilet
56 Your cat already thinks he’s a genius. Make him prove it.
57 Change your way of training your cat
58 The nitty-gritty on where you kitty goes shitty
59 It seems logical to train your cat to use a litterbox. But why would you have a perfectly good toilet?
60 Cat poop is never pleasant. But now you can just flush it.
61 Make your kitty becomes a whiz at whizzing
62 I was skeptic at first. Now I brag about my potty-trained cat to strangers at the grocery store!
63 Ever seen a cat use the toilet?
64 Helping cat owners never have to deal with litter boxes again
65 Proof that cats are better than dogs
66 Raise your hand if your cat can use a toilet. (We’ll ask you again in 3 weeks.)
67 The pretty kitty potty party
68 Would you rather share your bathroom with your cat, or your husband?
69 How to turn your toilet into a litterbox
70 Your cat can use the can – just like you
71 Lose the litter box – for good
72 “I couldn’t believe it when I heard my cat tinkle in the toilet!”
73 Potty train your cat faster than you did you your kid
74 Now, if you can only teach your cat to change the toilet paper.
75 Toilet training a kid is harder than toilet training your cat
76 The potty training device for cats
77 Your cat is a easier to share a bathroom with than your husband is
78 The cat toilet training method that will change your life forever
79 Hurry up in there! The cat needs to pee, too!
80 How to train your cat to poop in the potty
81 No litter boxes. Just the occasional flush.
82 Ever seen a cat use a toilet?
83 The quickest & easiest way to housetrain your cat, is to toilet train it
84 Don’t wait to get the litter out of your house
85 The “I trained my fat cat to use the toilet!” litter box eliminator
86 Train your cat to use the potty, right meow.
87 Does your cat pee like a human?
88 hearing your cat pee in the potty will make you giggle with pride for years
89 Are you as smart as your cat?
90 How to get your cat to pee like a person
91 Lose the litterbox. Prepare the toilet.
92 Proof that cats are smarter than dogs
93 In just 3 weeks, your cat can be using the toilet
94 Your cat is going to wonder why you’re peeing in its toilet
95 No more buying litter. No more cleaning litter.
96 Train your cat to use the potty. The actual potty.
97 Prepare to impress your friends – with your cat
98 Seriously. People are going to be talking about your cat for years.
99 All you need is a toilet & a cat
100 Yes, it’s strange. But when you cat can use the toilet, your life is so much easier.
101 My cat has less accidents than my husband!
102 Now you can legitimately blame bathroom smells on the cat
103 Can you imagine yourself bragging to strangers in line about how your cat uses a toilet?
104 How to train your cat to use you the toilet (so you don’t have to clean the litterbox ever again)
105 No more litter – and they won’t leave you with an empty toilet paper roll
106 Your cat pees like a person
107 The only thing you need to do is flush

Overall: Just OK. After riding the high of yesterday’s post, I was hoping for more.

Lessons: I’m a dog person. I had trouble pretending cats were better and a few lines made me glance over at my two big, dumb, lovable dogs and whisper “sorry.” I found myself relying on formulas more than I wanted to. They produced some decent lines, but they didn’t feel very unique. I ran across one great review about a lady bragging to a stranger in the grocery checkout line about her cat’s bathroom prowess–but I had trouble converting it into a great headline. My heart just wasn’t in it today.

Back at it again tomorrow.

Time: 2 sessions, 1:13 total.