Yep, this is a strange one. But I actually used to write some content for a custom mouthguard company. The sport kind, not the sleep kind—though they made those too. These lines focus on athletic version. They were custom molded to your teeth and you can decorate them with logos, words and colors. Super protective.
For various reasons, I won’t link you to any particular site. A quick search would pull up a dozen for you. I chose to create a fake label called BITE, so you’ll see that name pop up below. Fictional label. Real product.
The lines vary between selling to the athlete wearing the guard (often high-schoolers) and the person buying them (Mom or Dad).
I think these would do pretty well in the market.
1 | Wrap your teeth in cool |
2 | Smile and make ’em cry |
3 | Even the dentist’s kid wants a Bite |
4 | A fastball to the face hurts. It just hurts a lot less when you wear a Bite |
5 | Anyone ever call you a smart mouth? They will now. |
6 | Custom mouthguards for weekend warriors |
7 | Moms: ever seen Australian Rules Football? You’re gonna want your kid wearing this. |
8 | If you think the guard is expensive, ask your dentist how much it costs to put a tooth back in your kid’s face |
9 | Lacrosse balls are hard. Protect your teeth. |
10 | A punch to the mouth hurts. It hurts less when you’re wearing a Bite |
11 | The “holy sh*t, I can talk!” mouthguard |
12 | Customize your design to look like you French kissed a demon |
13 | Speak clearly. Let them hear your war cry |
14 | Show em’ your fangs |
15 | Bling out their game face |
16 | Your teeth look better when they’re in your mouth |
17 | Even if you lose, you’ll still look cool |
18 | Hockey players don’t need to look like a jack o’lantern when they smile anymore. |
19 | Your mouthguard doesn’t do you any good in your bag |
20 | The only guard that lets you talk |
21 | Now rugby players can keep their teeth |
22 | No game face is complete without Bite |
23 | Better protection. Clear speech. |
24 | The coolest thing you can put in your mouth since the cronut |
25 | Gear for your grill |
26 | For athletes tired of gagging on guards who want to destroy their opponents on the field |
27 | Where your mouth comes to look awesome |
28 | Make your teeth fierce |
29 | Grin & bare ’em |
30 | The mouthguard you can talk with |
31 | Never lose your smile |
32 | Strike fear in your opponents eyes—with your teeth |
33 | Let your fangs make an impression |
34 | It’s like a bulletproof jacket, for your mouth |
35 | Sure you can get a cheaper mouthguard. Good luck with that… |
36 | Dental work is expensive. Protect it. |
37 | When you yell victory, they’ll hear every word loud & clear. |
38 | Where you lose your guard and get your fangs |
39 | If you design it, we can put it in your mouth (full customization available) |
40 | When your grill gets rocked, will you be protected? |
41 | Protecting mouths, one hit at a time |
42 | Pro level protection for high school teeth |
43 | Custom fit and fierce AF |
44 | For parents tired of their kids hating their mouthguard |
45 | If you can’t talk to your teammate, What’s the point of having them there? |
46 | Because it’s only cool to have a mouth like a jack o’lantern on Halloween |
47 | Protect yourself from the dentist |
48 | Designed by athletes who care more about mouthguards than any normal person ever should |
49 | The “whoa, you got vampire fangs!” mouthguard |
50 | It hurts to lose a tooth. Luckily, you’ll never know. |
51 | Customize your teeth |
52 | A custom jersey for your overbite |
53 | Custom graphics–so you can look absolutely evil |
54 | When you smile, they’ll think you’re a demon |
55 | After the hit, will you still have your teeth? |
56 | For athletes who want to instill fear with a grin |
57 | Braces aren’t cheap. Protect them. |
58 | The only mouthguard you’ll ever want to take a selfie with |
59 | Talk trash. Look cool. |
60 | Make your game face more fierce |
61 | What color will your grill be? |
62 | How to improve on-field communication |
63 | Protect the investment in your child’s mouth |
64 | The mouthguard coaches love |
65 | Lock in your Bite and pound ’em |
66 | Make your mouth look awesome |
67 | If chess were an contact sport, the smart kids would all wear Bite |
68 | Your opponents will know you as “the one with the teeth” |
69 | Coaches love Bite because you can talk. Parents love Bite because you’re protected |
70 | Don’t jack up your teeth. Wear a Bite. |
71 | Click in your guard and win |
72 | Your braces were expensive. Protect them. |
73 | Helping you keep your teeth so you won’t look stupid for yearbook photos |
74 | We don’t recommend getting smacked in the teeth. But in case you do, wear a Bite |
75 | Mom, don’t let ’em ruin your baby’s pearly whites |
76 | Instill wisdom upon your teeth. Wear Bite. |
77 | Helping athletes protect their choppers |
78 | Protect your fangs |
79 | Teeth vs. elbow, elbow wins. Bite vs. elbow, Bite wins. |
80 | Your guard won’t protect you if you’re chewing it |
81 | Never lead with your face. But if you do, make it so your teeth will stay your mouth |
82 | You pay a lot for you teeth. Protect them. |
83 | Got a pretty a mouth? Protect it. |
84 | The same guard your dentist makes, only cooler and less expensive |
85 | Threaten em’ with a smile |
86 | The only mouthguard that lets you speak |
87 | It’s only a matter of time before you take a shot to the mouth. Will you be wearing your Bite when it happens? |
88 | No matter how jacked up your teeth, we’ll make a guard that fits perfect |
89 | Custom mouthguards for tough motherf*ckers |
90 | You’re not game ready until your Bite is in |
91 | Look fierce. Stay safe. |
92 | Uniforms don’t stop at your mouth |
93 | Built for warriors. Designed by you. |
94 | It’s the only mouthguard you’ll ever care about |
95 | Protect your choppers |
96 | The most comfortable thing in your mouth that’s not your tongue |
97 | You start with 32 teeth. Finish with 32 teeth. |
98 | Pimped out mouthguards for athletes with style |
99 | The only mouthguard you’ll want to wear off the field |
100 | When you’re not afraid of losing your chiclets, you hold nothing back |
101 | Because Dad doesn’t want to take you to the dentist again |
102 | The mouthguard for athletes who like to talk |
103 | Get MMA level protection |
104 | Lock in your guard, turn on your game face |
105 | Big hits happen. Let the other guy lose his teeth. |
106 | A uniform for your teeth |
107 | You can still trash talk while you wear it |
108 | Your grill, only fiercer |
109 | This is what all mouthguards would look like if dentists were cool |
110 | Breaking the stereotype of toothless hockey players since 2007 |
111 | A Bite a day keeps the dentist away |
Overall: Pretty good! A-
Notes: It felt good to get this out. The lines came easy since I had history with the product from both ends, and having seen the results of my copy (which did REALLY well), I’m confident these would perform in market. I’ll likely revisit some niche sports categories in the future. So heads up—especially if you’re a hockey goalie like me.
Time: Dang it! I lost track. Seemed quicker than usual though. Let’s estimate 2 30-minute sessions.
And there’s #10! Next up, a recap of all the learnings. Subscribe below to get it sent directly to you every 10 days.
10/100
Game on Thursday, smiling for yearbook photos on Friday.
These are great! I’m loving this series, and interested in doing something similar. Thanks for sharing!!!
Nice! Thanks for the note, AJ. Do it! It’s a challenge, but it’s worth every step. Hit me up if you want to talk about it.