I’m not sure what rabbit hole brought me to the homepage for Hillsboro Inlet Sailing Club—but that’s where I landed, so that’s what I wrote. And not one Styx reference.

…A few pirate lines though.

Mind you, I’m not a sailor. Sure, I’ve been a few boats, but I don’t know my aft from elbow. Most of my ocean knowledge comes from Jimmy Buffett & weekends at the Jersey Shore. Turns out, that may have helped with this one, because the club also focuses on new-member and youth instruction.

Here are 101 lines about sailing.

1Teach your kids to sail and you’ll have a first mate for life
2Sailing crews for solo travelers
3Like riding a bike, only with waves and dolphins
4We only race for fun. But it’s more fun to win.
5Have you ever seen the look in a child’s eyes when he sees a boat?
6Be the old man in the sea
7Racing is more fun when it’s with family
8Teach your boy to sail
9Everyone loves a friend with a boat
10For the retired white man whose grown tired of golf
11When golf loses its appeal, try sailing
12From out here, even Miami looks quiet
13You live in a state people come for vacation. May as well take advantage of it.
14When you start dropping “aft” and “bow” into casual conversation, you’ll know you’re one of us.
15When you have a boat, you’re always popular
16You’re the captain. We’re your crew.
17We can’t guarantee you’ll see a dolphin, but it’s a pretty safe bet
18Ever taken your wife sailing?
19The membership that brings you outside your borders
20Sail safely. We’ll show you what ropes to pull.
21Join the team that dominates regattas
22Once you try it, you’ll understand
23You don’t even need a boat to begin
24For landlubbers who dream of getting their sea legs
25Ever wonder what “ahoy” really means?
26That racing trophy is gonna look great on your shelf
27Come see what Jimmy Buffett is singing about
28The horizon looks better from close up
29Helping you learn the ropes, from running rigs to mooring up
30Where landlubbers get their sea legs
31Would you, could you, on a boat?
32The boating community for casual sailors
33Helping landlubbers to learn the sea
34The sea tells great stories
35Where casual sailors learn from the best
3613 ways to make your wife understand your boat is only your 2nd favorite lady
37Families who sail have more fun
38Yes, it’s true. We all talk like pirates.
39Teach the whole family to sail
40Chicks dig guys with boats
41It’ll make you feel like a pirate
42We teach children to sail so they can set your lines when they’re older
43Discover the joys of sailing without having to buy a boat
44Stop just looking at the ocean, and tame it.
45Discover why ladies love a man with a boat
46Enjoy the benefits of boating, without owning a boat
47Learn the secrets behind safe sailing
48Set sail for anywhere
49See the sunset up close, with your family by your side
50The hobby that makes you look suave
51Weekends are better on a boat
52Go catch that horizon
53Ever wish you knew how to sail?
54The escape you need, within safe boundaries to the shore.
55Where Floridians learn everything there is to know about sailing
56The only sport you can play in flip-flops
57The ocean is the safest place to go when the zombies come
58Arrrrr ya comin’ sailing?
59Learn to sail without a big investment
60The sailing club for boaters who hate sailing clubs
61Anchors aweigh!
62Everyday is talk like  a pirate day on a boat
63Unplug and set sail
64Come see why everyone talks about sailing so much
65Have you ever actually raced a tide?
66The best family activity there is
67If you haven’t tried sailing, you’re living Florida life wrong
68For beach-goers who dream of seeing what’s past the breakers
69Sail the sea your forefathers sailed
70Helping future sailors learn the ropes
71With views like this, you won’t mind waking up early
72Mermaids beware
73For retirees tired of doing nothing all day
74Seniors who sail have more fun
75How big is your dinghy?
76When was the last time you did something new?
77Sailing teaches discipline
78Set sail for adventure
79See the coast from an outside perspective
80Where you learn to sail and become a better Floridian
81Helping Floridians explore the coast, one tide at a time
82What’s fun on land is even better on the ocean
83Teaching new Floridians how to sail, one snowbird at a time
84Come sail away with me
85Conditions look favorable
86When you lose sight of the shore, the real fun begins
87Yes, sailing is hard. And it’s worth every ounce of effort.
88You live in Florida. You should know how to sail.
89When boys try to impress your daughter with a boat, teach her to beat ’em at racing
90The ocean is calling
91Because you’ve always wanted to make your kids swab the deck
92Wednesday night beer can races!
93You body is mostly water. So you’re already a natural, right?
94Boaters have more friends
95You’re surrounded by water. May as well sail on it.
96The only device allowed on deck is your compass
97For locals tired of being the only one without a boat
98You love your family. But this is YOUR time.
99We’ll call you “Skipper”
100It’s just you, your boat and the ocean
101People have been talking about the sea for centuries. It’s time you learned why.

Overall: OK. I give it a B—but it’s tough for me to judge something I’m so unfamiliar about. If anyone with a moderate knowledge of sailing wants to weigh in below with a comment, I’d love to hear what y’all think.

Notes: The first half came pretty easily. I referred to the formulas a few times, but I’m starting to work from my brain more & more. I guess the last 800 lines have left an impression. I got a stuck around 70, so took a break for a few hours. It took a few minutes to get going again, but once I did, the rest came quick. It helped that there were several pages on the site to play with. Yes, maybe it’s cheating a bit, but the beauty of this being my project is, I get to make the rules. Besides, they’re all relevant for the subject.

I almost wrote client. Ahhhh, maybe one day…

Time: About 1:20, broken into 2 sessions