Following up on the pretend services from movies, I picked Sunshine Cleaning. In case you missed this one, it’s a 2008 film about a woman who falls into a career of bio-hazard removal and crime scene clean-up. All kinds of gross.
I thought it would be fun to write about.
I was wrong.
Notes below the list:
|Will your major cleanup pass the white glove test?
|Our first matter of business is ensuring you get exactly what you need
|Discreet and thorough cleaning of your property
|Once you point to the room, your part is done
|Big messes require skilled professionals
|Sanitary conditions, guaranteed
|The biohazard cleaning service used by local hospitals and emergency services
|We’ll remove any trace of the moment so you can move on
|White vinegar ain’t gonna clean this mess up
|Helping families of hoarders find the beauty they remember
|One small step toward regaining what once was
|No matter how bad it looks, we’ll make it better.
|The number 1 lesson biohazard specialists can’t be taught in a classroom is this
|“They treated me with respect during a difficult time”
|The dirty side of dealing with death
|Professional cleaning services for violent scenes
|We’ll help you go on
|This is a difficult time. We’re here to help.
|The health risks to your family run deep. This is not a situation you should handle yourself
|We’re on call 24/7 because nobody ever schedules a sewage spill
|Warning! Make no attempt to clean a crime scene on your own
|What are the most effective chemicals for treating biological waste in your home?
|How to restore order in your home after an accident has occurred
|How to move on from tragedy and restore your surroundings so you can move forward in peace
|For families of hoarders who want their house back
|No one will know your last tenant died here
|When it comes to difficult moments, professionalism and tact are only 2 of the many skills required
|We understand exactly what needs to be done without you having to ask
|For loved ones who want to remember the ways things were
|Our 14-stage cleaning process allows your healing process to begin
|Our certified team of professionals is here to help you during this difficult situation
|This is a difficult time. Our goal is to make things easier for you.
|Your home, sanitized and restored
|The first 3 things you should do when discovering a crime scene or contaminated are:
|We’ll handle the unpleasantness so you can focus on your recovery
|The last thing you want to worry about right now is cleaning. Now you won’t have to.
|Discreetly restoring sanitary conditions to your home
|What to look for when choosing a biohazard specialist
|Bio-cleaning services for unpleasant situations
|Handling unthinkable scenarios and re-establishing pleasant living
|Restoring your home after unspeakable damage
|The certified, discreet and thorough biological cleaning service
|It’s more than cleaning. It’s a chance to move on with peace
|Biological clean-up MUST be done right the first time
|How I became a biohazard removal specialist
|A small spec of sunshine during a dark day
|For all the smells you cannot speak of
|The biohazard cleaning service no one ever sees
|Professional, certified, and recommended by state police
|Hygienic clean-up and safe removal of crime scene and biological waste
|Never be reminded of what happened here
|Our reward is seeing your shoulders relax when we’ve finished
|Restoring conditions to the way things were
|19 lessons learned during my first week as a biohazard removal specialist
|This is not an event you want to mishandle
|How to choose a crime scene clean-up specialist
|Restoring sunshine and order to your lives
|Tell us where to go. We’ll take care of everything else.
|Inside the emotional world of a bio-hazard technician
|Cleaning messes on Sunday for new tenants on Monday
|We’re so sorry you’re going through this now. Please let us help.
|Eternal sunshine on a spotless room
|Your home will look the way you remember it
|For those moments when you find the body waaaaaaaay too late
|Hoarders: We’re sensitive to your situation and will only move when you’re ready
|You’ll see no trace of the tragedy that once was
|Our promise to you is a complete restoration of the way it once was
|Our cleaning process will help you return to your normal routine
|Bell City Hospital trusts us. You can to.
|Our 14-stage cleaning process is patented and guaranteed hygienic
|We practice discretion on every job
|The only assistance we’ll need is for you to simply point to a door
|Stop worrying about the mess. We’ll handle that.
|6 sanitizing techniques used by biohazard specialists that you can use in your own home
|We understand your needs and employ the utmost discretion for every task
|You’re in good hands that have garnered 17 years of sanitizing experience
|Because the last thing you want to find 3 weeks later, is a toe
|How a small accident can easily become a big problem
|Common mistakes people make when dealing with a biohazard situation
|There’s a clean new beginning waiting for you. We’ll help you find it.
|The “It’s like it never even happened” bio cleaning service
|Sensitive, sanitary and selfless cleaning for difficult situations
|Diligently removing any reminders of unfortunate events
|Deep, thorough cleaning for crime scenes and biological mishaps
|Eliminate the risks to your family and ensure complete decontamination
|“If I could use Sunshine Cleaning to tidy my house every week, I would.”
|Certified removal and hygienic restoration
|The biggest mess requires the best crew
|When life hands you tragedy, you hand us your broom
|Trust me. We’ve cleaned worse.
|We’re sensitive to your situation and understand exactly what you need done
|We’re the company your hospital trusts
|Revitalizing your surroundings back to the way you want to remember them
|You’ll be able to move forward in peace
|When life hands you unpleasant situations, we’ll handle the clean-up
|Cleaning advice from a biohazard specialist
|We’ll remove any type of biological mess so you never have to
|Everything you need to eliminate your biohazard situation
|We’ll take care of everything—even the insurance claim. All you need to do is point us toward the room.
|Restoring your surroundings to how they were prior
|Biological clean-up and removal services for residential homes
|Industrial cleaning for sensitive situations
There are some good lines in the bunch. While I normally hate to start a sentence with “we” it seemed to make sense here.
Lessons: I thought I could have fun with this, but upon researching a few actual bio-cleaning sites, I saw that this is a really sensitive subject. They handle corpse removal, hoarder clean-up, rodent infestation and some touchy subjects too deep to mention. So I had to scrap most of my original ideas right away. By the time I hit #19, I was struggling. But I powered through and switched gears around the midway point. I had to focus more on what I SHOULD write rather than what I WANTED to write. (See #77.) And I also took some SEO terms into consideration. That was new for me.
This was a tough one. It made me think a lot more than the first 3. Also made me realize how much I have to learn with this project. I’m glad I did this one, but I’m mostly glad it’s done.
Total time: 1 hour, 36 minutes