Following up on the pretend services from movies, I picked Sunshine Cleaning. In case you missed this one, it’s a 2008 film about a woman who falls into a career of bio-hazard removal and crime scene clean-up. All kinds of gross.

Image result for sunshine cleaning

I thought it would be fun to write about.

I was wrong.

Notes below the list:

1Will your major cleanup pass the white glove test?
2Our first matter of business is ensuring you get exactly what you need
3Discreet and thorough cleaning of your property
4Once you point to the room, your part is done
5Big messes require skilled professionals
6Sanitary conditions, guaranteed
7The biohazard cleaning service used by local hospitals and emergency services
8We’ll remove any trace of the moment so you can move on
9White vinegar ain’t gonna clean this mess up
10Helping families of hoarders find the beauty they remember
11One small step toward regaining what once was
12No matter how bad it looks, we’ll make it better.
13The number 1 lesson biohazard specialists can’t be taught in a classroom is this
14“They treated me with respect during a difficult time”
15The dirty side of dealing with death
16Professional cleaning services for violent scenes
17We’ll help you go on
18This is a difficult time. We’re here to help.
19The health risks to your family run deep. This is not a situation you should handle yourself
20We’re on call 24/7 because nobody ever schedules a sewage spill
21Warning! Make no attempt to clean a crime scene on your own
22What are the most effective chemicals for treating biological waste in your home?
23How to restore order in your home after an accident has occurred
24How to move on from tragedy and restore your surroundings so you can move forward in peace
25For families of hoarders who want their house back
26No one will know your last tenant died here
27When it comes to difficult moments, professionalism and tact are only 2 of the many skills required
28We understand exactly what needs to be done without you having to ask
29For loved ones who want to remember the ways things were
30Our 14-stage cleaning process allows your healing process to begin
31Our certified team of professionals is here to help you during this difficult situation
32This is a difficult time. Our goal is to make things easier for you.
33Your home, sanitized and restored
34The first 3 things you should do when discovering a crime scene or contaminated are:
35We’ll handle the unpleasantness so you can focus on your recovery
36The last thing you want to worry about right now is cleaning. Now you won’t have to.
37Discreetly restoring sanitary conditions to your home
38What to look for when choosing a biohazard specialist
39Bio-cleaning services for unpleasant situations
40Handling unthinkable scenarios and re-establishing pleasant living
41Restoring your home after unspeakable damage
42The certified, discreet and thorough biological cleaning service
43It’s more than cleaning. It’s a chance to move on with peace
44Biological clean-up MUST be done right  the first time
45How I became a biohazard removal specialist
46A small spec of sunshine during a dark day
47For all the smells you cannot speak of
48The biohazard cleaning service no one ever sees
49Professional, certified, and recommended by state police
50Hygienic clean-up and safe removal of crime scene and biological waste
51Never be reminded of what happened here
52Our reward is seeing your shoulders relax when we’ve finished
53Restoring conditions to the way things were
5419 lessons learned during my first week as a biohazard removal specialist
55This is not an event you want to mishandle
56How to choose a crime scene clean-up specialist
57Restoring sunshine and order to your lives
58Tell us where to go. We’ll take care of everything else.
59Inside the emotional world  of a bio-hazard technician
60Cleaning messes on Sunday for new tenants on Monday 
61We’re so sorry you’re going through this now. Please let us help.
62Eternal sunshine on a spotless room
63Your home will look the way you remember it
64For those moments when you find the body waaaaaaaay too late
65Hoarders: We’re sensitive to your situation and will only move when you’re ready
66You’ll see no trace of the tragedy that once was
67Our promise to you is a complete restoration of the way it once was
68Our cleaning process will help you return to your normal routine
69Bell City Hospital trusts us. You can to.
70Our 14-stage cleaning process is patented and guaranteed hygienic
71We practice discretion on every job
72The only assistance we’ll need is for you to simply point to a door
73Stop worrying about the mess. We’ll handle that.
746 sanitizing techniques used by biohazard specialists that you can use in your own home
75We understand your needs and employ the utmost discretion for every task
76You’re in good hands that have garnered 17 years of sanitizing experience
77Because the last thing you want to find 3 weeks later, is a toe
78How a small accident can easily become a big problem
79Common mistakes people make when dealing with a biohazard situation
80There’s a clean new beginning waiting for you. We’ll help you find it.
81The “It’s like it never even happened” bio cleaning service
82Sensitive, sanitary  and selfless cleaning for difficult situations
83Diligently removing any reminders of unfortunate events
84Deep, thorough cleaning for crime scenes and biological mishaps
85Eliminate the risks to your family and  ensure complete decontamination
86“If I could use Sunshine Cleaning to tidy my house every week, I would.”
87Certified removal and hygienic restoration
88The biggest mess requires the best crew
89When life hands you tragedy, you hand us your broom
90Trust me. We’ve cleaned worse.
91We’re sensitive to your situation and understand exactly what you need done
92We’re the company your hospital trusts
93Revitalizing your surroundings back to the way you want to remember them
94You’ll be able to move forward in peace
95When life hands you unpleasant situations, we’ll handle the clean-up
96Cleaning advice from a biohazard specialist
97We’ll remove any type of biological mess so you never have to
98Everything you need to eliminate your biohazard situation
99We’ll take care of everything—even the insurance claim. All you need to do is point us toward the room.
100Restoring your surroundings to how they were prior
101Biological clean-up and removal services for residential homes
102Industrial cleaning for sensitive situations

Overall: OK

There are some good lines in the bunch. While I normally hate to start a sentence with “we” it seemed to make sense here.

Lessons: I thought I could have fun with this, but upon researching a few actual bio-cleaning sites, I saw that this is a really sensitive subject. They handle corpse removal, hoarder clean-up, rodent infestation and some touchy subjects too deep to mention. So I had to scrap most of my original ideas right away. By the time I hit #19, I was struggling. But I powered through and switched gears around the midway point. I had to focus more on what I SHOULD write rather than what I WANTED to write. (See #77.)  And I also took some SEO terms into consideration. That was new for me.

This was a tough one. It made me think a lot more than the first 3. Also made me realize how much I have to learn with this project. I’m glad I did this one, but I’m mostly glad it’s done.

Total time: 1 hour, 36 minutes