Maybe it’s a carry-over from Brit’s piece on day 1, but I woke up with Edward Scissorhands in my brain. So I wrote about it.

Remember the scene where he sculpts everyone’s garden? Ballet dancers, dragons, dinosaurs… I thought it might be fun to write some headlines for his tree-trimming service.

Image result for edward scissorhands trees

Here you go:

1 Best Garden On the Block-ers, take note!
2 Where the trees are even prettier than statues
3 See these results from our 93 customers in Lakeland
4 People may criticize your garden sculpture at first, but within 10 days, they’ll be asking how they can get one of their own.
5 How to win Garden of the Month (so your annoying neighbor won’t)
6 The only topiaries crafted by a man whose hands are actual scissors
7 It’s ok if you can’t imagine how breathtaking your garden will look. Edward can.
8 14 Little known ways to create extreme neighbor jealousy
9 The “Wow. Look at that.” Garden service
10 There are several things Edward can’t do. But he can do this better than anyone
11 Garden art for art connoisseurs
12 We analyzed your community and here’s what we found in your neighbors’ gardens
13 For gardeners who wish they had time to create a masterpiece
14 For garden snobs who want to level up their landscape
15 Landscaping so gorgeous, it makes Mother Nature jealous
16 13 trees ideal for crafting a masterpiece
17 The most creative yards in the world
18 Where proud homeowners find their signature piece (and inspire jaw-dropping awe around the block)
19 These are the most common mistakes people make when attempting topiaries
20 Bring out the hidden beauty in Mother Nature
21 Helping you build the best landscape possible, so you can be proud of where you live
22 We aren’t laborers. We’re artists.
23 Whimsical gardens for fantastic homes
24 The garden-crafting service for anyone who’s ever loved art
25 Edward will add a unique flair to your home no normal-handed human ever could
26 Scissorhands Topiary Art: Find the secret shapes hidden in your landscape
27 Bold design—shaped by the boundaries of your imagination
28 All you need is a tree, your imagination, and Edward.
29 It’s not just your tree. It’s your statement to the world.
30 Discover the pure genius of Edward’s every move
31 Improving on mother nature, one tree at a time
32 Like having Leonard Da Vinci as you landscaper
33 Here’s the downside to having a beautiful garden: there isn’t one.
34 Heartwarming design that inspires magic in your home
35 No, you don’t need to have a majestic tree to start
36 The ultimate guide to creating magnificent tree sculptures
37 How a small thing like caterpillars can destroy a year’s worth of sculpting
38 Imagine your trees on the cover of Good Homes
39 The tree service that turns your garden into a museum
40 Are you more of an animal or shapes person?
41 All you need is a tree. We’ll take care of the rest.
42 Who needs the same trees as everyone else? Not you.
43 Get jaw-dropping greenery faster than Winona Rider can shoplift a purse
44 Transforming trees into penguins, one evergreen at a time
45 We’ve seen the future and it’s got lions in its trees
46 Let your personality display through nature only Edward can create
47 Staggeringly beautiful designs, the way Mother Nature could only dream of
48 6 lessons learned from a lifetime of sculpting topiary art
49 When Edward cuts, people watch
50 We crafted every yard on Elm Street and here’s what happened
51 For people who want the Joneses to keep up with them (or leave them choking in your dust)
52 Helping professionally-trained sculptors discover the medium of trees
53 It’s your favorite animal, only 13-feet tall and made from leaves
54 Helping homeowners win the garden of the month award, 3 years running
55 Stylish topiaries for homeowners who want to make their home worth more than their neighbor’s
56 Which garden sculpture best defines your personality. Take our quiz!
57 What you should do when people slow down to gawk at your lawn
58 The designs sculpted in your landscape represent you to the outside world
59 For housewives tired of staring at boring  lawns
60 Why garden sculptures increase your status among friends
61 Have you ever found yourself weeping from the beauty of a tree?
62 Get the trees that you’ll want to keep forever
63 Having an amazing topiary will change your entire life. Here’s how
64 Don’t limit yourself to triangle-shaped trees. Let Edward craft a menagerie for you.
65 Bring out the magic in your landscape
66 God created magnificent creatures. Edward sculpts them for you to enjoy.
67 14 beginner designers to make your home the talk of the town
68 Where you ditch the trees all your neighbors have and unveil a work of genuine art
69 When your topiary is complete, you’ll never want to move again.
70 Are you still content with just another tree?
71 Have the most recognizable house on the block (in a good way)
72 If the greatest sculptors who ever lived studied topiaries, they would learn from Edward
73 Landscapes for the art age
74 Here’s why you need a tree shaped like a daddy hippopotamus 
75 Toss your sheers and turn your garden into an museum
76 6 easy ways to prepare your garden for your upcoming masterpiece
77 Scissorhands designs: More talented than Mother Nature
78 Enjoy a beautiful garden without cultivating, digging and trimming every weekend
79 It’s taken 19 years to perfect this craft (and every tree teaches us something new)
80 For homeowners who want to stand out from the crowd
81 For anyone whose ever dreamed of having a zoo made entirely of plants
82 For one-of-a-kind homeowners who want to the world to see their individuality
83 After crafting 1,031 topiaries, Edward decided he was finally ready
84 16 sculpting techniques for beginning topiary artists
85 The “Oh my gosh, it’s an ostrich” tree sculptor
86 A comprehensive look at the 3-year training every member of our team goes through
87 The absolute best topiary artist in the world, personally crafting your gallery by (scissor)hand
88 The tree-shaping service for homeowners
89 “How having a Scissorhands sculpture got me on the front page of the newspaper”
90 Let your trees speak for you (and tell the world how unique you are)
91 Last year, there were 12 car accidents caused by people staring at Edward’s designs
92 Warning! More people will be driving by your house to admire you garden (Better close the shades when you change)
93 All the reasons you shouldn’t try this on your own
94 Topiaries for artists-at-heart
95 You can only get this level of artistry from someone’s whose hands are made from actual scissors
96 How to increase your property value without touching the inside of your home
97 Homeowners: Are you doing this one thing to raise your property values?
98 Express yourself through nature
99 The tree trimming service by artists
100 The Joneses are going to be jealous
101 All you need is a tree. We’ll make it magnificent

Overall: OK. There are some decent lines here and nothing I’m embarrassed about.

Lessons: I knocked out 63 straight, then took a good, long break. I came back a few hours later and revisited some of the formulas that seemed to be working. Seems to be a much better strategy than going all at once. I think I’ll start doing this more. The brain drain is real, people.

Total time: 1:26, broken into 2 sessions

Back at it tomorrow

3/100